Samantha Tonge - The New Beginnings Coffee Club - The feel-good, heartwarming read from bestselling author Samantha Tonge

Silence. I stopped and turned around. Zak stared at the lawn.

‘What?’ I asked.

Slowly, he looked up and ran a hand through his hair. ‘She’s got to leave as soon as possible,’ he muttered. ‘I … I’ve been putting off telling you. I hoped the school might change their minds, give me more time to –’

An icy sensation pierced my chest. ‘Zak? We have paid for this term, right?’

He bit his lip. ‘No. In fact …’ his face crumpled ‘… we’re two terms in arrears. Our chances have run out. April has to leave as soon as possible. The head’s been really generous about it, but she just can’t extend her goodwill any further.’

I gasped. ‘Zak! Why didn’t you tell me? Instead of sticking your head in the sand?’ Wasn’t I a good listener? Couldn’t he trust me with bad news? Did he really think me so fragile?

‘Guess I didn’t want to face the truth,’ he said. ‘And if I told you I’d have to.’

I shook my head. Stood open-mouthed. I had no words and turned back around.

My throat felt dry as I stalked across the garden, biting the insides of my cheeks again. I’d show Zak how I could provide for myself and for our daughter. And I’d sort out a new school, too. Yet a heavy, uncomfortable sensation weighed down my chest. I had niggling doubts as to how well April would settle into a new life. As a desperate last measure, I’d even tried to moot moving to Noah’s cottage as something of an adventure.

‘We’re really going to leave here, then? Leave Daddy? Leave my walk-in wardrobe and Dot?’ she’d said.

‘There’s a river at the bottom of the garden, sweetheart. And imagine living in a loft. You’ll be sleeping higher than Rapunzel.’

‘It’s more like the dwarves’ cottage in Snow White.’ She’d gulped. ‘Small. And it will stink of coffee.’

‘And of cake,’ I’d continued, in the same cheery tone. Yet it killed me to see her mouth pucker and those eyes fill.

‘It won’t smell as good as Dot’s baking.’ Tears had run down her face as she stamped her foot. ‘Why are you being so selfish, disagreeing with me and Daddy? Don’t you care what I want? I won’t do it! Go on your own. I’m not moving. You can’t make me!’

She’d stormed off to her room. I dreaded telling her that her home was going to be sold and belong to another family, so I’d held off. Perhaps that sick feeling inside was how Zak had felt about sharing bad news with me – but then I was an adult. My fears were based on April being a vulnerable, confused child. My knees had given way after she’d left and I’d collapsed onto the lounge floor. Head in my hands, the sound of my muffled sobs was almost as loud as the rapid beat of my heart. I recognised her anger for what it really was – pure, unadulterated hurt caused by the adulterous acts of her dad. The hurt at leaving behind Zak and the trappings of our extravagant, familiar life.

Would she ever adapt? Could she and I really pen a new life map? Or would her tears water an ever-growing need in her to return to the spoilt existence we’d both enjoyed before? Could I manage a budget? Could I still succeed in being the best mum I could be, without money? The answer should have been a no-nonsense ‘yes’ but doubting voices niggled my conscience, voices that knew I was scared of the unknown.

Chapter Six

I gazed at April’s bed and the pink headboard in the shape of a giant crown. A glittery chandelier hung from the ceiling and fairy lights trailed the coving. Heart motifs lined the wall above the entrance to her walk-in wardrobe and matched a shaped fluffy rug on the floor. Over the last year, more grown-up aspects had appeared, like a poster of her favourite pop group. April and her new friends dreamed of belonging to a girl band.

I stole a glance at my daughter who stood by my side at the door, mouth downturned. What a contrast to the day she’d first seen her newly decorated bedroom. Squeals had filled the air and she’d given Zak and me the tightest hugs ever. I smiled. At that point she’d still played mostly with toys. Zak and I had listened at the door as she explained to her dolls that the wardrobe was their own particular new home.

‘Are the guinea pigs packed?’ she asked in a flat voice.

‘Yes.’ It was good of Noah to let us keep them in his garden.

‘Tell me again why we have to leave. I don’t understand. The house is big. Skye had a good idea – why can’t you and Daddy just have half each?’

I knelt down and took her hand. Her gold nail varnish was peeling. Her bottom lip jutted out.

‘Daddy and I can’t live in the same house together any more, sweetie.’

‘Why don’t you love each other any more?’ Her voice cracked.

My chest squeezed at red blotches around her eyes. I’d heard her sobbing in bed last night but when I’d gone into her room she froze and pretended to sleep.

‘We will always care for each other because of our gigantic love for you, but … you know Daddy and Chanelle are together now.’

‘But you and Chanelle are friends, aren’t you? And Daddy doesn’t want you to move out – he wants to stay friends too.’

Inwardly I sighed. I still hadn’t seen that woman since I learned of the affair. Us adults had tried to make things as pain-free as possible for the children. I’d avoided words like fault and hate. At least it was one thing Zak and I agreed on – not to play the blame game. Although now and again I reached screaming point, and just wanted to stamp my foot, bawl and yell that yes, I hated my ex best friend and it was Daddy’s fault .

‘We just all want what is best for you and Skye,’ I said. ‘Me and Daddy separating has got nothing to do with you. In fact, you are the most fab-u-licious bit of both of us.’ I stood up. ‘And so it just means … things will be the same but different. Skye still sees her dad, doesn’t she? Just not at the same time as her mum.’

Her chin wobbled. ‘It won’t be the same at all. Daddy won’t come in from work every night and let me fetch him a bowl of crisps. Dot won’t cook for us any more. And where will I put all my make-up and toys?’

I squeezed her hand. I’d answered these questions a hundred times already, over the last few days.

‘You now have two homes,’ I said brightly. ‘And in one you’ll have a room in a really cool loft, right next to a coffee shop.’

‘I don’t even know Noah that well. Stupid name,’ she muttered. ‘But two homes will be cool. Daddy’s staying here. That means that one day we might be able to sort something out and move back.’

I stared at her. Hardly breathed. Shivered as dread filled my chest. In that moment I realised it was time to tell her the truth. Well, a watered-down version, that left out scary words such as bankruptcy. She had enough to worry about as it was. I stiffened my body and prepared myself for the sight of her crushed hope – the broken face, her understanding that everything familiar she’d come to love would end up belonging to someone else.

‘No, sweetie.’ I cleared my throat. ‘Even if Daddy stays here, it won’t be for ever.’

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