Samantha Tonge - The New Beginnings Coffee Club - The feel-good, heartwarming read from bestselling author Samantha Tonge

He leant forwards and held his head in his hands. ‘It’s such a mess. This has come out of nowhere. I wouldn’t blame you for thinking me a complete bastard.’

Wow. An ounce of remorse at this late stage? I should have felt touched but it just made my fists curl tighter.

‘I didn’t believe you would actually leave our home to work in a poxy coffee shop,’ he said in a muffled voice. ‘Don’t go, Jenny. Stay here. You need to find work but you can find something better than that. Think of April’s needs.’

‘You sound just like the people who voted for Brexit and then complained that they never really thought it would happen.’ I snorted. ‘Honestly, Zak. Me think of April? You should have thought of April before you failed to keep your fly zipped outside of marriage,’ I snapped. Talk about double standards.

Zak looked up and shrugged. ‘Guilty as charged. But you’ll always be the mother of my daughter and … despite the difficulties ahead of us, I’ll do right by you, financially, when I can.’

Financially? My nails dug into the palms of my hands. As if that meant anything to me. It was his love I’d wanted, not his wallet. ‘That’s what got us in this mess in the first place – you thinking you were doing right by me, just because I was pregnant.’ I gulped.

‘Jenny. Look, why exactly can’t you stay here?’

I stared at him. Denial should be his middle name.

‘Apart from anything else, we’re practically bankrupt. We can’t pay the mortgage, the bills, the staff. How can we stay here?’ I was incredulous.

He stared at the wooden slatted floor.

‘Look at me.’

Finally his eyes met mine.

‘The Willows needs to be sold. End of. Creditors have to be paid. It’s time to fly out of cloud cuckoo land and face these problems head on.’

‘Don’t you feel anything for our home?’ He shook his head.

‘How dare you! You questioning my feelings for the life we’ve made together? This home meant everything to me, but how could I stay and imagine you and Chanelle doing it on our kitchen table, on the sofa or in front of the fire?’ I raised my eyebrows. ‘My mind’s been like a search engine, picking out all the times April and I were out of the house. I found an earring once under our bed. You said it must have belonged to Dot – but she hasn’t got pierced ears. And the lounge once smelt of smoke when we returned from an event at the school. Chanelle must have visited.’ I’d known a golfing buddy hadn’t been the culprit, as Zak had claimed, but I’d closed my eyes to the truth. I’d been such a fool. If Zak’s middle name was Denial then mine was Gullible.

His bottom lip stuck out, just like sulky April’s had all week. ‘I suppose you’re after a half share. But like you say, creditors come first.’

I sniffed. ‘As much as I despise your behaviour, I won’t be going after any so-called share. I won’t have this bankruptcy on my head.’ I pursed my lips. ‘Your parents were the best; they welcomed me with open arms. Elite Eleganz is their life’s work. I don’t want to play a part in its failure.’

We looked at each other again and his eyes glistened. ‘I’ve let them down big time, as well. The business is everything they worked for. The Willows, my parents … so many memories.’

Yes, so many memories you’ve now trampled over. Past images of family meals and celebrations in the house flicked through my mind.

My voice wobbled. I had to ask, just to make sure, even though every vein in my body throbbed with his betrayal. ‘You’re sure you want to break up our family; you’re sure you and I couldn’t … you know… try again,, for April’s benefit?’

My eyes widened. I could tell the answer was a no, but I’d had to ask. I needed to know that there was nothing I could have done to save our marriage, our family.

‘You know the hardest thing? Looking back, Chanelle’s excitement at finding out who I was married to the very first time we met … It wouldn’t surprise me if she had this planned from the start. And you’ve fallen for her plan hook, line, and sinker. Led by your balls instead of your brain. What a cliché. You’ve been played. So have I. This love affair didn’t just innocently happen. With that level of deceit from the start, what future can it possibly have?’

He looked up and his nostrils flared. ‘Think that if you will.’

‘Call in her loan, Zak. Chanelle’s business is doing well enough at the moment.’

Cheeks flushed, he shook his head.

‘Why not?’ Okay. Mustn’t shout. April might hear.

‘Her repayments are the only thing keeping Elite Eleganz afloat at the moment,’ he muttered and broke eye contact.

‘Liar! For Christ’s sake, Zak. Just be honest. You can’t bear to ask her, can you? Can’t bear to upset your sweet little bit-on-the-side …’ Love really did make people blind. ‘Is that really it? We’re over?’ I said, hating myself for those words.

But I had to persist, even at this last stage. How could he just toss ten years down the drain? And – an uncomfortable sensation shifted inside my chest – I was afraid. Afraid of leaving behind those cosy memories and striking out on my own. I admit it. Things weren’t perfect, but maybe our relationship would improve? People got back together after worse things, right? Only last week I read in the paper how a man in the States murdered his in-laws for money and his wife still visited him on Death Row.

I swallowed, trying to ignore the voice in my head that said cowardice was never the best option; that I had to accept my situation and let go.

‘You and me, we’re done? You aren’t even going to put up a fight?’ I said, in an oh-so-small voice.

‘Oh, Jenny.’ Dark circles were etched under his eyes. ‘April will always link us together.’

Once more, anger inflated my chest. What if our split screwed up our daughter? You read about it in the papers. Being fussy about food might just be the start of a whole gamut of problems. Maybe we could work things out, make do, until she was just a bit older?

I swallowed – swallowed my pride, fingers curling at the words I was about to emit.

‘I’ll say it again – what about counselling? Let’s try and get past this – be a family again. We could, I don’t know, move away from the village. Start afresh.’

He met my gaze and my spirits rose. Was he going to say yes? My shoulders relaxed at the glimmer of hope that this was all a horrible mistake and we could get our lives back on track. Deep down Zak loved me. I wouldn’t work in a coffee shop. April and I would continue to enjoy a luxury life. My comfort zone would be reinstalled. He reached across the gap between the chairs and his strong fingers curled around mine. My hand betrayed my broken heart as, despite my anger, I automatically squeezed his fingers back.

His kiss-me stare used to melt my insides, along with the strong mouth that reminded me of the first time our lips had met. I was interviewing him for my college’s student magazine. Over the weeks of my placement at Elite Eleganz, we’d become closer. When he supervised my work, he stood nearer, his body close to mine, a hand occasionally brushing my back. We laughed. Shared a few secrets. I told him about my teenage crush on Piers Morgan. He revealed an old school admiration of Doris Day music. I’d asked him the final question for my interview: what fascinated him most about fashion? His answer? How he loved making women feel good about themselves, as he truly believed you had to love Number One first before being ready to love another.

Then he’d stood up, come around to my side of the desk, and sat down on the chair next to me. Gingerly, I’d stretched out my hand and run my fingers though his chestnut hair. He’d leant forward and I’d closed my eyes in anticipation. His mouth met mine and he tenderly kissed me back. In an easy fashion, he had slipped his arms around my back and he pulled me onto his lap. I had wrapped my legs around his waist and I’d pushed my body against his, weeks of attraction willing him to satisfy my desires.