Cathy Glass - The Silent Cry - There is little Kim can do as her mother's mental health spirals out of control

‘Yes, of course.’ But it was an odd time to phone for a chat. Most parents with a young family were occupied at this time making dinner or seeing to their children. ‘Is everything all right?’

‘Yes, fine, good. How are you? I haven’t been going to school. Geraldine’s been taking and collecting Kim. She says I have to rest. My husband Andy says so too. They agree about most things. So I’m doing what I’m told. Like a good girl. That’s why you haven’t seen me. But I’m fine. We’re all fine …’ And her words continued, fast and furious, fired at me in short, staccato sentences and not ‘chatty’ at all. She sounded hyper, agitated. ‘So Geraldine, my mother-in-law, is looking after us all,’ she continued. ‘Me, Kim, Andy and little Liam. She’s doing a great job.’

‘How is Liam?’ I asked, forcing a gap.

‘He’s fine. Well, like a baby. Eating, sleeping, crying. But Geraldine takes care of that. Many thanks to Geraldine, I say. She’s a natural with children. I think some people are, don’t you?’

‘Is Geraldine with you now?’ I interjected.

‘Who?’

‘Geraldine. Your mother-in-law. Is she with you now?’

‘Yes, of course. Why do you ask? She’s here most days while Andy is at work. Andy is my husband. Sometimes she stays after he comes home to make sure he has his dinner. But that’s mothers for you. They never stop fussing over their little boys. Although what would I know? Kim is a girl. But Geraldine is great. In fact, it was she who suggested I phone you. She thought I should.’

‘Why?’

‘Oh, you know. For a chat. To tell you I’m OK. In fact, we’re all OK. Me, Andy, Liam and Kim. We’re doing fine. I believe you saw Kim at the shop? She’s a good girl, helps me out sometimes. But we won’t mention that, will we?’ And she gave a small, high-pitched laugh.

‘Is there anything I can do?’ I asked.

‘No, nothing you can do.’

‘I was thinking of popping in to see you next week.’

‘Oh, I see. Well, you can if you like, but really there’s no need. I’m fine. We all are. Couldn’t be better.’

‘What day suits you?’ I began.

‘Not sure. Have to go now. Bye.’ The line went dead.

I stood for a moment, completely bemused, then slowly returned the handset to its cradle. It was one of the strangest telephone calls I’d ever received. Whatever was all that about? Why had she phoned? I had no idea. The Laura I’d spoken to while walking back from school had been quiet, shy and a little withdrawn, whereas this Laura was gushy and completely over the top. It didn’t sound like the same person. I didn’t think she was drunk, although she had sounded confused and had repeated herself. But Geraldine was with her, presumably helping her, so I put Laura out of my thoughts for the time being and concentrated on my family.

After dinner I played some games with the children and then began Paula’s bath and bedtime routine. Later, when she was asleep, I lay propped on Adrian’s bed and we had our little chat before he settled for the night. He suddenly asked, ‘I wonder what Darrel is doing now.’

‘I expect he’s asleep,’ I said.

‘Do you think his mummy sings to him every night?’

‘Yes, although maybe not tonight, as her mouth is sore.’

‘What’s that tune called?’ Adrian asked. ‘The one that goes like this.’ He began humming one of the lullabies Shelley had sung.

‘Brahms’s “Lullaby”,’ I said. ‘It is beautiful, isn’t it?’

‘Yes. I wish you could sing it like Shelley,’ Adrian said.

‘So do I.’ I smiled. ‘She’s got a lovely voice. Perhaps we could hum it together? Let’s try.’

I put my arm around him and in the light of the lamp we began humming the haunting melody of the lullaby, which has become a classic for children everywhere. It didn’t sound too bad at all. And I hoped that the sentiment in our tune carried through the night air and touched Shelley and Darrel, so that they knew we were thinking about them.

‘Night, Shelley and Darrel,’ Adrian said as we finished. ‘Night, Mum.’

‘Night, love. Sleep tight.’

‘Love you.’

‘Love you more.’

On Monday morning I was going to ask Geraldine if it would be convenient for me to pop in and see Laura on the way back from school, but she left the playground before I had a chance to speak to her. Laura’s phone call on Friday had played on my mind over the weekend and I wanted to just say hi to her and make sure she was all right. I decided I’d stop by anyway, and if it wasn’t convenient I could arrange to go back another time. I bought a bunch of flowers for Laura from the local supermarket and once we’d crossed the road I let Paula out of her stroller to walk. It was 9.40 by the time we arrived outside number 53.

‘Baby,’ Paula said as I opened their gate.

‘Yes, that’s right. We are going in to see if we can visit baby Liam and Laura,’ I said. Paula grinned.

I parked the stroller to one side of the porch and, holding Paula’s hand, pressed the doorbell. It was answered almost immediately by Geraldine, who didn’t seem unduly surprised to see me.

‘Laura’s up, but not dressed,’ she said rather brusquely.

‘Would you give these flowers to her, please?’ I said, assuming from her comment that it wasn’t convenient for me to go in.

‘You can give them to her yourself,’ she said equally bluntly.

‘Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude.’ But Geraldine was already holding the door wider for us to go in.

‘She’s in the living room,’ Geraldine said in the same terse manner and nodding down the hall. ‘Sorry about the telephone call on Friday. Laura wasn’t herself.’

‘Oh. That’s OK,’ I said, surprised that she’d mentioned it. ‘How is she now?’

‘Fine,’ she said, and led the way down the hall and into the living room. Laura was sitting on the sofa in her dressing gown breastfeeding Liam, and she did appear fine.

‘Lovely to see you,’ she said, looking up and smiling.

‘Baby,’ Paula said.

‘He’s gorgeous,’ I said. ‘Absolutely beautiful.’

‘Thank you. Hi,’ Laura said to Paula. Paula hid her face shyly against my leg.

‘A few flowers for you,’ I said, offering the colourful bouquet.

‘That is kind of you. Thank you,’ Laura replied easily.

‘I’ll put them in a vase,’ Geraldine said, stepping forward. I passed her the flowers. ‘Would you like a coffee?’ she asked.

‘Only if you are making one.’

‘I don’t drink coffee,’ she replied curtly.

‘I’d like one,’ Laura said.

Geraldine gave a stiff nod and went out of the room.

‘Are you sure you don’t mind me dropping by like this?’ I asked Laura.

‘No, of course not. I’m pleased to see you. I wasn’t going anywhere. Sit down, and thanks for the flowers.’

‘You’re welcome.’

I slipped off my jacket, took Paula’s jacket off and draped them over the back of a chair. As I sat down Paula scrambled onto my lap.

‘He is a beautiful baby,’ I said.

‘He looks like his dad,’ Laura said.

‘I can see you in him too. He’s got your nose and chin.’

She smiled. ‘Mum said that as well.’ Laura seemed more like her old self – the person I’d walked back from school with – quietly spoken, pleasant, unassuming and a little on the shy side. Liam stopped feeding and she began to wind him, gently rubbing his back until he burped. Paula giggled.

‘So how are you doing?’ I asked Laura.

‘OK. Sorry about last Friday. I nearly phoned back to apologize. I’d had a blazing argument with Andy, and Geraldine said you’d seen it all. I was in a right state when I phoned you, but I’m fine now.’