John Lenahan - The Shadowmagic Trilogy

‘Finn came close and whispered in my ear, “Do you have a place to go?” I nodded. He said, “Go there and never come back.”

‘There were tears in his eyes when Lord Finn stepped back and announced to all that I was banished, and my name was to be purged from our minds, and my memory was to be purged from our hearts. That was the last I saw of anyone from The Land, other than Oisin and the Fili, until the Shadowrunes told me to rescue you and your father from Cialtie’s dungeon.’

‘How could he do that to you?’ I said. ‘Finn sounds as bad as Cialtie.’

‘Do not judge your grandfather harshly,’ Mom said, in that motherly tone that made me a bit ashamed of myself. ‘He should have had me executed on the spot. I am sure many thought he was wrong to let me live. You must remember how much pain Maeve and her Shadowmagic had caused. It is hard to be a good man and a great king. Your grandfather Finn was a great king.’

‘So you came back here?’ I said.

‘Banishment was not really that much of a hardship for me. I came back here to live among the Fili. I had found peace here. The only hardship was that Oisin was not with me.’

‘I didn’t find out about all of this for two days,’ Dad said. ‘After the boat race, Ona gave me a tonic that made me sleep.’

‘Who broke the news to you?’ I asked.

That question sent a shiver down my father’s back. ‘When I awoke, I was in bed being nursed by Cialtie.’

‘Cialtie! What was he doing there?’

‘Oh, I’m sure he put on that sickening Cialtie charm, and convinced the nurse that he should look after his poor brother for a while.’ Dad’s face hardened. ‘When I opened my eyes, my first sight was his glaring countenance.

‘“Well, well, little brother, what were you thinking?” Cialtie asked me.

‘I was terrified,’ Dad admitted. ‘I tried to shout but my throat was so dry, I could hardly make a sound.

‘“Shhhh, don’t exert yourself, little brother, you have been through an ordeal. What I can’t figure out is, what were you, Daddy and that witch Ona concocting that made winning that race so important? Or was it that you just hate me so much that beating me was worth losing your hand?”’

Dad’s voice faltered. ‘All of the realities of what I had done crashed down on me like a wall of stone. I could hardly breathe.

‘“Oh my gods,” Cialtie said, smiling, “you didn’t think about this before, did you? It’s just occurring to you,” and then he laughed. “Well, let me sum it up for you – without a runehand you can never take the Choosing and without a Choosing you can never be king, and because you are a one-handed prince , you can never have an heir. If I didn’t know better, I would have thought you did this as a present for me.”

‘When I finally found a whispering voice, I said, “Where is Father?”

‘“Oh, Father dear is off talking to the other lords, trying to explain why he didn’t have Deirdre killed.”

‘I tried to sit up and failed.

‘“Oh, I forgot,” Cialtie said, “you have been out of it for the last two days. How can I break this to you? Deirdre is gone. You’ll never guess – that little vixen is a Shadowwitch.”

‘I panicked,’ Dad said, ‘I couldn’t breathe.

‘“Oh my, little brother, I can see that you already knew. Shame on you. You see, she performed a little Shadowmagic show with your wrist and hand. You should have seen it. It was quite a demonstration. I thought our big sister Nieve was going to pee herself. I expected Daddy to chop her head off right then and there but instead he just banished her. He is as weedy as you.”

‘I gathered up all of my strength and took a swing at him. I would have connected, too – if there had been a fist attached to my wrist. Cialtie thought this was so funny, he cackled loud enough to alert the nurse. He explained to her that he was overcome with joy, seeing that his brother was going to recover, and danced out of the room.

‘Eth arrived just after Cialtie left. He was beside himself with grief. He blamed himself for what happened to me. It wasn’t his fault. I am sure he was enchanted by that Banshee witch Mná, but I was tired and angry. I shouted at him. I told him he was weak, that this was all his fault and that I never wanted to see him again. He left the castle that day. I never had the chance to tell him I didn’t mean it.

‘In one day I had lost my love, my best friend, my hand and had given my crown to the most evil man in The Land. If I had had the strength – I would have killed myself then and there.’

Dad stopped talking, looked down and wiped his eyes. How could I have lived with a man all of my life and never really known him? I stood up and put my arms around him.

Mom picked up the story. ‘After Cialtie’s Choosing (where he surprisingly chose the Reed Rune), Oisin came to find me here in the Fililands. By then I was very pregnant with you, Conor. Even the Fili were concerned when they saw that I was carrying the child of the one-handed prince. We consulted the Shadowrunes and came up with a plan. Your father and you would give up your immortality, just like the Fili Druids had done, and then, after a full mortal life, the son of the one-handed prince would die a natural death in the Real World. It was the best we could do for you, Conor. I performed the spell that sent the two of you to the Real World – it was the worst day of my life.’

This lunch was starting to turn into a blubber-fest. I let go of Dad and hugged Mom, and when I could finally speak again I asked, ‘Why didn’t you come with us?’

‘The Shadowrunes forbade it,’ she said.

‘These Shadowrunes,’ I asked, ‘are they really as clear as all that? All of the fortune-telling I have seen in my life was always so vague that it could be interpreted as anything.’

Before Mom could answer, a voice startled me from behind. ‘Why don’t you see for yourself?’ It was Fand. She was standing in the doorway – I was surprised to see that it had grown dark outside. ‘The Shadowcasting is ready.’

Mom stood. ‘Well, let us see if the Shadowrunes can tell us of Master Fergal’s lineage.’

We walked among the rowan trees in fading light. It would soon be pitch dark, not that that would bother our escorts – the Fili seemed to be as much a part of these woods as the trees themselves. Fergal walked like a man in a trance. I caught up to him.

‘Are you cool about this?’ I asked.

Fergal gave me a strange look. ‘I’m a little cool, but it’s pleasant out.’

‘Sorry, that’s not what I meant.’ I laughed. ‘Are you worried about finding out about your parents?’

‘Oh, ah no … well, yes … oh, I don’t know what I think,’ he said, ‘I just have to know. All my life I have been fantasising about having parents – I feel like I won’t be whole until I find out. Do you understand?’

‘If anyone understands, my friend, it’s me.’ I stopped him, gave him a hug and whispered in his ear. ‘No matter what happens, Fergal, I’m there for you.’

‘And I for you, Conor,’ he replied, and slapped me on the back. I gave him a dirty look for the slap, and he returned it with a twinkling smile.

We arrived in a glade surrounded by a ring of very old rowan trees. Light was provided by glowing pinecones in glass holders. The golden glow showed the seriousness on everyone’s faces. It made me want to crack a joke, but I decided against it. Maybe I was growing up a bit, or maybe I was just chicken.

Mom sat cross-legged on the ground next to two large bowls. We all sat around her.

‘Before we begin,’ she announced, ‘we must state our intentions. Shadowmagic, like any power, can be corrupted. Only by keeping our motives pure can sins, like those done in the past, be avoided. This sap,’ she said, pointing to a bronze bowl full of the stuff, ‘was given freely by trees who knew what it was for. We thank them.’