Barry Martin - Under One Roof - How a Tough Old Woman in a Little Old House Changed My Life

Someone in the office showed me the article, and when I read it over, I was struck by the ending of it, what the guy wrote about Edith. He said, “How she lives and the choice she made to stay put seems to spark powerful feelings in total strangers. It did me, yet I’ve spoken to her only three times. I think it’s because she’s genuine. Authentic. She’s living the life she’s got and not asking for help, pity or money.

“What does it say about us,” Danny wrote, “that we find that so remarkable?”

As the days went by, I didn’t have occasion to talk to Edith again, but I noticed that the birdseed was, indeed, out on the sidewalk almost every day before we got to work. It was funny, but all the guys started watching out for it – and for her. After a while, if the birdseed wasn’t out by 10:30 or 11:00 a.m., somebody would let me know. The first time, I didn’t think much of it, but the second or third time, I decided I’d better go over and check on her.

I knocked on the door.

“Go away!” I heard her shout from inside. “Leave me alone!”

I was stunned. I was sure she’d change her tune when she realized it was friendly old me.

The rumble from the bridge had quieted down. The wind had kicked up, though, and nearly blew my baseball cap off my head. I tried again. “Edith,” I said, “it’s me, Barry, from the construction site. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

“Are you deaf?” she yelled. “I said go away! Leave me alone!”

I thought, well, okay, this is what everybody told me to expect. Shouldn’t be surprised.

“Well, just glad to know you’re okay,” I called in, making one more attempt to rescue this conversation, if you could call it that. “Let us know if you need anything.”

I guess that insulted her, like I was saying she couldn’t take care of herself. “I’m fine! Go away!”

I walked back over to our construction trailer, scratching my head. Was it something I said? It’s pretty hard to mess up “Hello,” though. Once again, I felt like a little kid who’d gotten yelled at by the teacher.

I got the same response the next few times I went over to check on her, over the next couple of weeks, trying to get a look inside and make sure she was okay. Maybe I should have been offended or pissed off by that, but to tell you the truth, I really just felt kind of sad for her. I figured maybe she wasn’t feeling so well, and there she was all alone. I also felt kind of embarrassed – I don’t even know the woman, and here I am, popping open her mail slot and peeping inside.

I started to wonder if maybe there weren’t two sides to Edith: the polite, gracious, friendly side, accepting of the change all around her; and the cranky, crotchety side, quick to anger and to take offense. And I thought, maybe there was a reason for that. The first time I went over, I treated Edith with dignity and respect, and she reacted the same way – pleasant and courteous. But maybe she didn’t like it if she thought people were checking up on her; she didn’t like what that implied, which was that she couldn’t take care of herself. I think that’s what happens when people get older. They know a time is coming when they won’t be able to take care of themselves, and they’re fighting it. They don’t want to admit what’s happening and it makes them mad when you remind them. That’s the first lesson that Edith taught me, and I didn’t know it then, but it would be the first of many. For the time that I knew her, Edith’s little house would become my schoolhouse. She taught me about what I guess they call the continuity of things – what we learn from the older generation and what we pass along.

I met Edith just in time, it turns out. My dad was seventy-three years old, and holding up pretty well so far, but soon enough he’d start having his own problems. I think if it weren’t for the things I started learning from Edith, I wouldn’t have known how to handle or accept what was happening to my father. Or how to help him.

But for the moment, I put those thoughts aside. Everybody’s got their problems. I had plenty of my own.

I had a shopping mall to build.

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