Tom Graham - Life on Mars - A Fistful of Knuckles

Sam froze.

Dermot prepared to throw a punch.

The boxers got ready to join him.

Gene puffed himself up.

It was then that they heard the gasp of a woman a few yards away to their right. It was an almost sexual sound. The lemony aroma of Charlie cut through the fug of sweaty men like the reek of powerful pheromones. Sam and Gene glanced across and saw bleached blonde hair, scarlet lipstick caked across wrinkled lips, a tight-fitting, zebra-patterned leather skirt, fishnet stockings encasing muscular legs, white stilettos. The balls-to-the-wall old bird who stared so frankly at the men in the gym raised her left hand to her painted mouth and teased a red lacquered nail between twin sets of nicotine-darkened teeth; as she did so, her right hand ran down her solidly curved body, from zebra-striped breasts to leather-clad crotch, in a single fluid movement of barely suppressed animal arousal.

‘Hands in your pockets, boys, your five-tissue fantasy’s arrived,’ Gene observed.

‘I’m Stella, and this is my gym,’ said the woman in the zebra-striped top, lounging back in her chair and planting her stilettoed feet on her desk. ‘This place is mine. Mine. You come into Stella’s Gym with questions, I’m the one you speak to first. Got that?’

Sam didn’t know whether things would have kicked off had Stella not arrived the moment she did. But whatever the score, her sudden appearance had defused the situation. All eyes had turned to her as she stood there, running her hands over her own body and chewing her glistening bottom lip. Sam’s first thought was that she was somebody’s drunk and unpleasantly randy aunt, but whoever she was she radiated some sort of authority over the men in the gym. They respected her. Gene had sensed this too; instinctively, he’d turned his attention from the wretched Spider and the plucky Irishman defending him, and instead focused solely on this high-heeled, peroxided Amazon.

Beckoning Gene and Sam with a red-clawed finger, she had brought them through a door that led from the gymnasium area into her private office. It was lined with framed photographs of big men, boxers every one of them: some were groomed and suited; some sleek and oiled and posing in the gym; others sweating in the ring during a fight; not a few gushing blood and hardly able to see through swollen eyes – one or two lying sparko and splattered on the canvas, defeated and senseless.

‘Didn’t expect to find a bird running this gaff,’ said Gene, casting his glance around the office.

‘Thought the name might’ve given it away,’ Stella said, not looking up from filing her talons. ‘I was born into boxing. My dad, his dad, his dad before him. It’s in my blood. It’s my life.’

‘You should’ve been born a bloke,’ said Gene.

‘So should you, Detective Chief Inspector whatever you said your name was.’

‘The name’s Hunt. Gene Hunt.’

‘And I’m Detective Inspector Sam Ty-’

Gene silenced him with a curt wave of the hand, like Sam was cramping his style on a date. Which perhaps, in a way, he was. Gene’s eyes were fixed directly on Stella’s – and hers were now fixed on his. They were locked onto each other, oblivious to the rest of the world, like lovers. Sam fell silent and gave the two of them their space; it seemed wrong to intrude.

‘Denzil Obi’s got himself killed,’ Gene growled. ‘You know who I’m talking about.’

‘Of course I do. Denzil was one of my boys. I’m sorry to hear he’s come a cropper. Still, it happens.’

‘Does it?’

‘In this game, aye, it does. Boxing’s a tough world.’

‘What do you know about Denzil?’

‘This and that. Depends who’s asking.’

‘The Law, that’s who’s asking, now answer the bloody question.’

‘That’s no way to address a lady in her office.’

‘And that’s no way to treat a police officer on a murder enquiry,’ Gene said. ‘You’re starting to sound to me like somebody who knows more than they’re letting on.’

‘Little me?’ replied Stella, and she turned her attention back to filing her nails. ‘I don’t know nuthin’ … leastways, not about that sort of thing.’

‘Who killed Denzil Obi? Any ideas?’

‘None.’

‘Make a guess.’

‘I can’t.’

‘Pick a name out the bloody hat.’

‘Constable, I don’t know anything. ’

‘Bollocks.’

‘Not a thing.’

‘Double bollocks.’

‘It’s not my job to nick villains, Mr DCI Gene Hunt. You’re the policemen.’

‘You better believe it. And as a policeman I can take you straight into custody and put the right royal squeeze on you, sugar. The right royal squeeze.’

Stella dropped the nail file onto the desk, moistened her red lips with her tongue, and looked up at Gene through her long fake lashes. ‘So. If I don’t cooperate, will you haul me down the station in handcuffs?’

‘Before you can say ‘post-menopausal slag’, you bet I will, toots.’

Stella took her feet down from the desk, stood up, and planted her hands on her leather-clad hips.

‘Right then,’ she said. ‘I’m not co-operating.’

‘Then I’ll have to start getting rough.’

‘Then get rough.’

Gene glowered at her: ‘I’m not bluffing.’

‘Neither am I,’ said Stella, her voice now a husky whisper. ‘ Neither am I. ’

Gene moved closer, his face hard, his eyes harder. Stella pointed her breasts at him and lifted her chin defiantly. Sam could hear them both breathing noisily.

And then, it all happened. Whether it was Gene who made the first move or of it was Stella, Sam didn’t see. All he knew was that there was a rapid flurry of movement, thrown fists, slaps, kicks, and a sudden torrent of things swept from the desk as Stella was thrown roughly over it and handcuffed.

‘Don’t just stand there gawping, Tyler!’ Gene barked as he held Stella down, pressing her with all his weight to subdue her struggling. ‘Help me getting this wildcat into the motor!’

‘We can’t take her out through the gym, Guv, not in cuffs! The boys out there will rip us to pieces!’

Gene thought about this, even as he renewed his grasp on his thrashing captive.

‘You got a point,’ he said, and hauled Stella upright, clamping one arm round her throat. ‘We’ll just have to move this mucky mare the way they do with pianos.’

‘Guv …?’

‘The window, Tyler. Get it open.’

Sam hesitated. Surely this wasn’t right? Was there no better way than this?

Gene suddenly roared: ‘Not next week, dopey nuts! Right now! ’

And catching the excited gleam in Stella’s eyes, Sam realized that for all her thrashing and struggling, Stella herself would have no objections to such rough handling.

Don’t think about it, Sam. Just do it. Let’s just get this bloody thing over and done with!

By means that could only be described as undignified, they got Stella to the Cortina. Gene bunged her into the back seat like she was a sack of old taters. At once, she struggled to come back at him, teeth bared, eyes flashing fiercely. Having both her hands securely cuffed behind her back didn’t daunt her for one moment from taking them both on simultaneously.

‘Get in the back and sit on it!’ Gene ordered, shoving Sam onto her. ‘Keep it under control until we get to the station.’

Sam find himself sprawled across Stella, fighting blindly with her, trying to grab some part of her so he could hold her still.

‘Get this weedy boy off me!’ she cried, thrusting her knee into his stomach. ‘Get the guv’nor back here!’