Alan Partridge - I, Partridge - We Need to Talk About Alan

I, PARTRIDGE:

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT ALAN

Alan Partridge

With Rob Gibbons, Neil Gibbons, Armando Iannucci and Steve Coogan

Dedication

For Fernando. And Denise.

Contents

Cover

Title Page I, PARTRIDGE: WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT ALAN Alan Partridge With Rob Gibbons, Neil Gibbons, Armando Iannucci and Steve Coogan

Dedication

Foreword

Introducing What Follows

Chapter 1. Beginnings

Chapter 2. Scouts and Schooling

Chapter 3. East Anglia Polytechnic

Chapter 4. Carol

Chapter 5. Hospital Radio

Chapter 6. Local/Commercial Radio

Chapter 7. Joining the BBC

Chapter 8. A Mighty Big Fish for a Pond This Size

Chapter 9. The Move to TV

Chapter 10. My Own Show

Chapter 11. Radio’s Loss

Chapter 12. Glen Ponder, Musician

Chapter 13. Lift Off, Show-Wise

Chapter 14. The Death of Forbes McAllister

Chapter 15. Splitting from Carol

Chapter 16. Yule Be Sorry!

Chapter 17. Return to Norwich

Chapter 18. Linton Travel Tavern

Chapter 19. Me v Hayers

Chapter 20. Proof That the Public Loved Me

Chapter 21. Hayers: Dead

Chapter 22. Homeslessnessness

Chapter 23. Swallow

Chapter 24. Other, Better TV Work

Chapter 25. Marching On: Skirmish

Chapter 26. My Drink and Drugs Heck

Chapter 27. Chin Up

Chapter 28. Bouncing Back

Chapter 29. Good Grief

Chapter 30. Classic House

Chapter 31. Forward Solutions™

Chapter 32. North Norfolk Digital

Chapter 33. A Sidekick

Chapter 34. Hanging Up the Headphones

Tracklisting

Index

Photo Insert

Acknowledgements

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Copyright

About the Publisher Конец ознакомительного фрагмента. Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес». Прочитайте эту книгу целиком, купив полную легальную версию на ЛитРес. Безопасно оплатить книгу можно банковской картой Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, со счета мобильного телефона, с платежного терминала, в салоне МТС или Связной, через PayPal, WebMoney, Яндекс.Деньги, QIWI Кошелек, бонусными картами или другим удобным Вам способом.

Foreword

ALAN PARTRIDGE IS A DJ who presents Mid-Morning Matters. He is hard-working and enthusiastic, with a broad appeal to our regional listenership. He has worked at the station since 2009 and was previously employed by its sister station Radio Norwich.

I have always found Alan to be honest and trustworthy and a relatively good ambassador for the station and for Gordale Media as a whole.

Alan is smart, punctual and his attendance record is very good, with an average of 1.5 sick days taken per year of employment.

I would have no hesitation in recommending him.

Regards,

Andy Powell

MD, Gordale Media

Introducing What Follows

Hi, Alan. Tell me – what is this page?

It’s the introduction to my book.

Written as a short interview with yourself?

Yes.

That’s brave and unusual. Why?

Well, questions and answers are my bread and butter; my meat and drink; my sausage, beans and chips. I’m an accomplished broadcaster, presenter and interviewer. Chat is what I do.

You’re not going to write the whole book like this, are you?

No.

What do you want the book to say?

That I am Alan Gordon Partridge, a respected broadcaster, but also so much more than that. Son to a dead father, father to a living son, TV personality, businessman, brand, rambler, writer, thinker, sayer, doer. I think that’s everything. 1 1 I also have a daughter. 2 Hue & Cry’s ‘Labour of Love’. I thought I’d choose a song from their debut album as it’s one I’ve heard of, something I can’t say about any of the songs from their subsequent 15 albums. 3 Rodney. Richard. Tony. Tom. Jeffrey. Salman. Joanna. Dan. Wilbur. Andrew. Dalai. 4 This is a footnote, by the way. I’ll be using these to pepper and garnish the body copy, so keep an eye out for them. Or as I say: If you see a number, look down under! Which either rhymes or nearly rhymes.

And today?

Today, I’m the presenter of Mid-Morning Matters, an award-worthy weekday morning-thru-lunchtime radio show on North Norfolk Digital – North Norfolk’s best music mix. In fact, you join me in my studio, as I scribble these opening thoughts in the 3 minutes 36 seconds of downtime I enjoy as a record plays. 2 2 Hue & Cry’s ‘Labour of Love’. I thought I’d choose a song from their debut album as it’s one I’ve heard of, something I can’t say about any of the songs from their subsequent 15 albums. 3 Rodney. Richard. Tony. Tom. Jeffrey. Salman. Joanna. Dan. Wilbur. Andrew. Dalai. 4 This is a footnote, by the way. I’ll be using these to pepper and garnish the body copy, so keep an eye out for them. Or as I say: If you see a number, look down under! Which either rhymes or nearly rhymes.

So what can people expect from the book?

They can expect quality throughout and excellence in places. These memoirs are a serious, thoughtful and grammatically sound body of work, a welcome antidote to the kind of crank ’em out, pile ’em high shit-lit that passes for most modern autobiographies.

Examples?

Well, put it this way. In terms of craftsmanship, it’s less Bewes, Madeley, Parsons and more Clancey, Archer, Rushdie. What’s more, it’s accessible enough to capture a market as wide as that of Rowling, Brown, Smith, McNab, Lama 3 3 Rodney. Richard. Tony. Tom. Jeffrey. Salman. Joanna. Dan. Wilbur. Andrew. Dalai. 4 This is a footnote, by the way. I’ll be using these to pepper and garnish the body copy, so keep an eye out for them. Or as I say: If you see a number, look down under! Which either rhymes or nearly rhymes. . 4 4 This is a footnote, by the way. I’ll be using these to pepper and garnish the body copy, so keep an eye out for them. Or as I say: If you see a number, look down under! Which either rhymes or nearly rhymes.

Is there anything in the book that ‘breaks the mould’?

Yes, a soundtrack. I spent three days with my ‘iPod’ creating a list of tracks that would provide the perfect mood music to accompany my life.

My publishers HarperCollins said that this wasn’t necessary. In fact they specifically told me not to bother, as they weren’t willing to pay for the production or dispatch of a CD and certainly weren’t going to seek clearance from, or pay royalties to, the artists I’d chosen.

But they can’t stop me providing you, the reader, with a list of songs plus directions as to where in the book they should be played. You’ll find the tracklist on page 311. My instructions can be found within the text. Please note: the soundtrack is mandatory.