Sommer Marsden - Once Bitten Twice Shy

He shook his head and smiled at her. The smile went right to that cold dead spot that seemed to live in the centre of her chest, and warmed it. ‘No. I was rude. I should never have stopped by without calling. You just seemed…on edge when we first ran into you. So I wanted to stop by and check the tree because frost is coming tonight. I figured while I was here I’d check on you.’ He nudged a chip in her concrete porch with the toe of his boot. ‘But mostly I wanted to check on you, so that was partially an excuse wrapped in a lie.’

I just wanted you to know that my brother is an amazing man. A good man. He’s kind, he’s funny… Kelly’s voice was suddenly in her head and she surprised herself again by tugging that jacket sleeve and saying, ‘Why don’t you come in? I have tea or coffee or hot chocolate. Something warm. It’s downright raw out there tonight.’

He shook his head. ‘I don’t want to intrude.’

‘What intrude? I was lost in painting. My house is freezing because I forgot to turn up the heat, and I need something hot anyway. Just as easy to make two as one.’

He looked uncertain. Like he’d inserted himself into her day and shouldn’t have. Truth be told, August thought, she might feel that way if it were anyone but Jack at the door. His excuse seemed plausible and just like him. She couldn’t begrudge someone kindness. She’d shut herself away from kindness for far too long. It was starting to dawn on her that she was punishing herself into a sad, tightly closed life. And that hurt.

It’s also not what Aaron would want for you…

That thought came as an utter shock and she tried not to let it show on her face. When he took a step inside, her body relaxed but her nervous energy skyrocketed. Mostly because she was just now realising how very much she’d wanted him to come in.

‘Come on. Let’s warm you up.’ She knew it was a double entendre in a way, and found that she didn’t care. ‘Coffee, tea or –’

‘Me?’ Jack piped in. He grinned and then his face went serious. ‘Sorry. Friends. I know. I get it.’

Her lack of laughter wasn’t because he’d upset her. It was because she realised she’d been about to jokingly answer, ‘Yes, please!’

‘I’ll just have whatever you’re having. Two of whatever’s on the menu.’

‘You know what?’ she said, feeling flustered as they walked into the kitchen. ‘I saw you got Chai today. How about a sorta vanilla Chai latte?’

‘Sorta?’ He was staring at a stool and August waved her hand at it.

‘Sit, sit. Yeah, sorta because I can’t really steam the milk, so vanilla, Chai tea and some warm milk. It’s really good.’

‘Sold.’

She chattered about his sister, her sense of humour, how bad she felt spilling on her, and the stationery she was going to make for Kelly by way of apology.

‘You don’t have to. She’s not a grudge keeper,’ he said. He was spinning her salt and pepper shakers on the countertop. It occurred to August he might be as nervous as she was.

‘I want to. I love doing personalised stuff. I love a good challenge.’ She set his mug in front of him and then took the seat next to his, holding her own mug for the warmth and comfort.

‘Tree looks good.’

‘It does,’ she agreed. ‘Think it’ll take?’

‘I do. They’re stronger than they look.’

She stared at him, thinking on some level he was referring to her. She cleared her throat. ‘Lots of things are stronger than we think they are.’

‘Look,’ Jack said, turning to face her fully. ‘Like I said, I don’t mean to intrude, or wig you out or anything. I get the feeling I’m stepping on your solitude. Invading your space. It wasn’t my intention. I was just worried, is all. When we bumped into you –’

‘Literally!’ she said, trying to bring some levity to the situation since he seemed genuinely distressed. ‘Or more like, me into you.’

‘I guess what I’m trying to say is, I was concerned. But like some idiot, I came rushing over here, uninvited, thinking – fuck, I don’t know. Thinking I was some white knight on a horse going to help out the damsel in distress. But you’re not a damsel and you’ve got your shit together and you sure as hell don’t need me to come in and rescue you from some imaginary dragon.’

‘Jack –’

‘I’ve known you three days.’ He sipped his Chai. ‘Three days and I just felt this restless urge to come over here and make sure you were OK, but the thing is, I think that was stupid because three days ago you didn’t know me and you were just fine. Anyone can see that.’

She stared at him, not knowing what to say. Not knowing how to respond to any of the things he’d said. Spot on, and yet so far from the truth. She often didn’t feel OK or together. She often felt like a hot mess, operating under the thin guise of being a competent human being. She’d let her guilt and her worry weigh her down and it was only now that it was beginning to dawn on her that that weight was starting to pull her under. To drown her. Her life was slipping past as she avoided experiences and people and kept herself tucked away, safe, busy but alone.

‘August?’ He cocked his head and she watched the concern bleed into curiosity.

‘Jack?’

‘Yeah?’

She shook her head. Then she pressed her hands to his stubbly cheeks and leaned forward and kissed him. He went rigid for a split second, and then his lips softened and met hers with as much urgency as she felt. When she moved closer, his lips parted and her tongue slipped along his. He cupped the back of her head, anchoring her, to earth it felt like, and kissed her more deeply.

August rose from her stool, pushing away the crazy rat-brain panic that told her to run, and took a step toward him. Jack tugged her into the V of his widespread legs and wrapped his arms around her. The kiss went on and on. The feel of his warm tongue against hers, his soft lips. It hit her like a strong cocktail, flooding her limbs with warmth.

August shut down the worry and pushed her fingers into his thick hair. She moved her body even closer, feeling the heat of his legs on either side of her hips. The strength of the arm wrapped around her. She broke the kiss, intent on saying something even though she didn’t know what. What came out of her mouth surprised her. Surprised Jack too, from the look in his dark eyes and the way his eyebrows rose.

‘Touch me, Jack,’ she said. No embarrassment. No apology. ‘Please…touch me.’

He studied her for a moment, weighing the words, reading her expression. His mouth descended on hers again and she reminded herself of the logical things Carley had said, the wonderful things his sister had said. Now that she’d made the decision to trust in those words, in him, she felt an urgency that she hadn’t felt in too long to recall.

His hands settled on her hips as his lips brushed softly down the slope of her neck. He scraped her collarbone with his teeth and she shivered, her nipples tightening inside her bra. The soft fabric against the sensitive skin was maddening.

He slid his fingers inside her waistband and stroked her skin until a rash of goosebumps sprang up along her hips. Then one hand was at the back of her head again, holding her close for the kiss, as the other slid down inside her trousers and breached her panties. His fingers parted her, found her clit, stroked.

August felt that heat already raging inside her increase. Her body quivered with a fine tremor as he continued to stroke, and her breath left her lungs when Jack changed his touch. He slipped a finger inside her, flexing it so that it stimulated every desperate nerve ending deep inside her that craved this intimacy.

‘Wet,’ he murmured, lips against hers. Then he added a second finger and began to slide them in and out. Her body was growing taut, the tremor turning into outright shaking.