Josephine Cox - Lonely Girl

‘I know what you’re after, you crafty devil,’ Molly teased him, laughing. ‘You’re after a goodnight kiss from your old sweetheart, isn’t that it?’

‘Sort of, yes, but I want a bit more than that. We both do, and don’t you deny it, Molly … because drunk or sober, you want me as much as I want you. Go on! Admit it.’

‘I do not want you, Tom Stevens. At least not in that way.’

‘Yes, you do, and we both know it.’

‘All right then … maybe I did, a long time back. But I’m over you now.’

‘Liar! You still want me. I know it. So, come on, be honest with me, Molly darlin’ … you an’ me together, like it used to be. Tell me the truth – you do want that, don’t you?’

Molly shook her head. ‘I don’t know, and that’s the truth. Anyway, you haven’t actually said what it is you really want from me. So come on, what do you have in mind?’

‘Well, for now, I just want to take you in my loving arms and ravish the hell outta you. And now you know. So, what d’you reckon?’

For what seemed an age Molly gave no answer, and when she did her quiet reply pleased her companion. ‘D’you know what …’ she paused to remember how it had been between her and this likely fella, and how she had never been happy since breaking up with him, ‘… it’s been a long time since I had a real man’s arms wrapped about me.’

‘Ah! Well, now, Molly my love, it’s your lucky day – or shall I say lucky night?’ Giggling boyishly, he began to leap about in a mad little jig of glee, which went on for a full minute before he lost his footing and fell against the wall. ‘At last I’ve got the truth from you, Molly. I knew you still wanted me. I knew you would see sense eventually. All these years and I’ve never been really in love with anyone else, because I knew I would get you back one day.’

When Molly laughed, he lunged forward to take her by the shoulders. Planting a clumsy but passionate kiss on her mouth, he slyly drew her to the nearest dark shop doorway.

For a moment she gave no resistance, but then she began fighting him, while yelling at the top of her voice, ‘Get off me!’

‘For pity’s sake, Molly, stop that shouting! What’s wrong with you?’ he pleaded.

Thinking he’d lost his only chance of getting her back, he changed tack. ‘Oh, come on, my lovely, you said you were up for it, and you really got me going. And now you’re acting as though you want no part of me. That’s a wicked thing to do, especially to a man who loves the arse off yer!’

‘Don’t you dare lay a hand on me!’ Molly shook him off. ‘If you must know, I want it as much as you do.’

‘So, what was all the shouting about then?’

‘I’ll tell you what it was, you dopey begger! I’m not as easy as I used to be. I have a bit more pride these days. And the time is certainly long gone when I let myself get squashed into a dirty old doorway, where wandering mongrels pee up the wall and tramps might spew out their guts. I’m worth more than that! So if you think I’m some kind of cheap little tramp, you can bugger off right now!’

‘Aw, Molly, I’m sorry … I didn’t think. But we can’t go back to my lodgings. The old trout is already threatening to kick me out ’cause I’m a week behind in my rent.’

‘Well, that’s a shame.’ Molly was genuinely dis- appointed. ‘And we definitely can’t go back to the farmhouse.’

She suddenly grabbed him by the coat collar and kissed him full on the mouth, while an idea played on her mind. ‘It’s all right, Tom, I know where we can go.’

‘Where’s that, then?’

‘You’ll see, and you won’t be disappointed.’

As she led the way, he wrapped one arm about her shoulders. ‘You’re such an exciting woman, Molly. I should never have let you go all them years back.’ He added fondly, ‘I still love you, Molly. You’re not like other women. You’re not afraid to go for what you want, and to hell with the consequences, eh?’

‘You make me sound ruthless.’

‘Well, that’s ’cause you are! But I love you too much to let you slip away from me again. I want us to find a place of our own together. You know it’s right, Molly, ’cause me and you … we were made for each other.’

Molly laughed. ‘Me and you … living together, eh? Well, you can get that stupid idea straight out of your head because I am not about to hitch my star to a loser like you.’

‘That’s not very nice, is it? I hope you’re not playing games with me, Molly.’

Molly laughed in his face. ‘Would I do that?’

‘You might, but I hope not, because I really love you, girl … I’ve always loved you.’ He gave an almighty shiver. ‘Brr! It’s bloody cold, Molly.’

‘Walk a bit faster then.’

‘Where are we going?’

‘Wait and see.’

Edging him away from the main street, she led him down a side alley. ‘Come on! We’ll cut through here.’

‘D’you love me, Molly … I mean, really love me?’ he wheedled drunkenly.

‘Stop it!’ Molly gave him a warning shove. ‘Just stop saying things like that. I know it’s only the booze talking.’

‘Aw, come on, Molly, I might be a bit tipsy but I’m telling you the truth, and now I need to know something.’

‘What’s that, then?’

‘I need to know why you went off and married the farmer when you knew how much I wanted you. I know you loved me then … and you still do. So why did you refuse my offer of marriage?’

For the longest minute, Molly’s thoughts went back to when she was young and vibrant. She had made choices back then, both good and bad.

‘First of all, I did love you. In fact, like I said, I still have strong feelings for you, bloody fool that I am! But back then I was young and desperate to build a life for myself. I had to make a calculated choice, and when the opportunity came up I chose to marry the farmer.’

‘Yes, I know all that. What I don’t know is why you chose him instead of me. Was it because you loved him more than you loved me?’

‘Leave it, Tom,’ she warned him firmly. ‘Let’s not go there, eh? It’s no good talking about something that happened a long time back. We’ve both had too much to drink tonight. Anyway, what’s done is done and it can’t be changed.’

‘Leave him, Molly!’ Tom shouted. ‘Come home with me … please. I’ll make you happy, I will!’ Surging forward, he fell clumsily against the wall, where he slithered down and sobbed like a child. ‘I miss you, Molly. That’s why I never got married. It’s why I follow you about and want to be near you. I sometimes watch you, Molly,’ he confessed. ‘I hide in the spinney and I watch you … hanging out the washing, and going about your business. I can’t get enough of you, Molly. That’s how bad it’s got. Earlier, when I saw you heading for the pub, I followed you. I needed to see you, to talk to you.’

‘What? You followed me to the pub? You crafty devil. You told me you were just passing; that you were on your way home from work and you needed a drink or two. You even acted surprised at seeing me there.’

‘I’m really sorry, Molly, but I had to see you.’

‘Well, I’m damned … you’re a bloody stalker!’ She laughed coldly. ‘You’ve been watching me and I never even knew. What next, eh? D’you know, I could get you put in jail for stalking me.’

‘Ah, but you wouldn’t, would you?’

‘I might. You never know.’

‘Leave your husband, Molly … please?’

‘Why the hell should I?’

‘Because you’re mine, Molly. You were always mine!’

‘I’m not leaving him, so you can forget that.’

‘Do you love him?’

‘No.’

‘So why do you want to be with him?’