Josephine Cox - Lonely Girl

He was painfully aware of how Rosie had not altogether forgiven Molly for spitefully whipping that poor old horse all that time ago, although, in truth, on that particular day Molly had shown a depth to her wicked temper that he had never seen before.

Even now, it was difficult for him to forgive Molly’s actions, although in time he hoped he would.

Rosie, however, with her caring nature and huge love for the tired old gelding, might take longer to forgive her mother. If she ever did.

‘COME ON, BIG BOY!’ Feeling playful, Molly drew Tom towards the big hay barn at Tanner’s Farm. ‘Nobody ever comes in here outside of work,’ she explained. ‘We could stay here all night if needs be, and no one would ever know.’

‘I’m not sure I’d want to stay here all night.’ Tom was surprised and a little concerned that she had brought him onto the farm after all. It made him nervous. ‘I bet there are mice and even rats hiding in here … and what if someone does come in and find us?’ He stole a look behind him.

‘Trust me, there won’t be anyone here at this time of night.’ Reaching into the deep crack under the window ledge, she collected the big iron key along with a bulky torch. ‘Ah,’ she waved the key at Tom, ‘I’m glad they still hide the key there.’ With a flourish she slid the big key into the lock and eased open the heavy door. ‘Come on, hurry up!’

When they were both inside, she spread her hands across the big door, and pushed it shut. That done, she carefully directed the narrow torch-beam in order to locate the switch, then switched on the light.

‘Hmm. There’s not much more light now than there was with the torch,’ Tom commented.

‘No matter,’ Molly retorted. ‘As long as it’s just enough to guide us, that’s all we need.’ She swept the place with a long, searching look, quickly satisfied that they were the only people there. ‘See, quiet as a graveyard. We’ll be all right in here.’

Greatly relieved, Tom chuckled like a naughty schoolboy. ‘So it’s just us two lovebirds, eh?’

‘Come on, you big old softy!’

Taking him by the hand, Molly led him further into the barn. The two of them followed a well-worn path between the bales. Wide enough to get a man and barrow through, it led them to the heart of the barn.

‘Wow!’ Tom was amazed to find himself surrounded by mountainous walls of hay bales, neatly stacked almost to the roof.

With the overhead light being barely adequate, Molly kept the torch trained low to the ground as she went, keeping a wary eye on Tom, who followed nervously not far behind.

‘Good grief! Where the devil are we going, Molly?… Are you sure you closed that door tight?… Ooh, look at that; I’ve never seen so much hay all in one place. It must have taken a long time to get it all stacked and safe.’

‘You don’t know anything about farming, do you?’ Molly teased him, rolling her eyes.

‘No, I don’t, and am never likely to. I work in a factory and I live in town. There ain’t no fields there, an’ there ain’t no hay-eating animals that I know of!’

‘Well, just so you won’t be totally ignorant, I’ll explain. The hay is cut and collected off the fields towards the end of summer, and fed to the animals over the winter months. John grows some of it for his own animals, but at least half gets sold to local beef and pork farmers who don’t have enough land for growing their own fodder. That works out well for everyone: it helps the farmers to feed their herds, and it also brings in more cash for us. Once the hay is inside, it’s no trouble as long as it’s kept in the right conditions.’

‘Hey, I’m not altogether stupid, Molly. But thanks for the information.’

Proceeding into the belly of the dimly lit barn, he glanced furtively about him, as though fearing some dark shape would leap out and swallow him up. When Molly quickened her steps, he broke into a clumsy little run behind her. He was definitely not comfortable in amongst this mountain of hay. What if the bales should fall on him? What if someone was watching them right now? And what about rats – how could he be sure they were not waiting to pounce? The thought made him shiver.

Mentally shaking himself, he concentrated on Molly. He did love her, even though, through all the years, she had never once contacted him. Tonight he had engineered a meeting in the pub, and it proved only how much he had missed her and how lonely his life had been without her. Molly was his only true love, and always would be.

Looking at her now, he smiled as she led him along the meandering corridor. Molly always had a good pair of legs, he thought. She was the best-looking girl he’d ever clapped eyes on, and when he was younger it had taken him a long time to find the courage to woo her. One thing he knew for sure, though: the few years when he had been with Molly were the best of his life.

He wondered if she would ever come back to him – not just for a tumble in the hay, but to be with him for the rest of his days. That would be his heaven: he and Molly together for the remainder of their lives. If he could have just one wish it would be that maybe – just maybe – she might learn to love him again as deeply as he had loved her all these years past.

Right now, though, he needed to concentrate on the reason she had brought him here. When he dared to imagine she would give herself to him, his heart leaped in his chest. Molly had always been his woman and he needed her now more than ever.

Nevertheless, this adventure was making him highly nervous, even though they were nearing the far end of the great barn. ‘Molly, I don’t like being in here. What if somebody finds us?’

‘They won’t. Once the hay is stacked and safe, hardly anybody ever comes in here, except young Harry when he brings the hay bags from the stables to fill up.’ She paused to kiss Tom full on the mouth. ‘Besides, even if someone did come in, they would never see us back here. It’s so cosy and warm you’ll never want to leave.’ She fell into a pile of hay from a broken bale and pulled him down beside her.

‘Molly Tanner, I must be crazy getting mixed up with you again. You’re a bad devil; always was, always will be.’ Softly chuckling, he wrapped his arms about her. ‘Nobody else but you could have persuaded me in here at this time of night and, like a fool, I let you bully me. Why is it you’ve always been able to wrap me round your little finger?’ he groaned.

‘Ah, that’s because you love me … more than you could ever love any other woman. Isn’t that the truth? And you will never stop loving me … will you?’

He realised that her every word was true. ‘You must be a witch,’ he whispered hoarsely. ‘So many times over the years I’ve tried to build a relationship with other women, but it has never worked out because when I look at them, it’s you I want. It’s like you’ve woven some kind of a spell over me.’

Her answer was to laugh in his face. ‘You’ll never have me,’ she said quietly. ‘No man will ever have all of me … not even my husband.’

For a fleeting moment, he was afraid. Afraid of his own feelings. Afraid that she might hurt him in so many ways. And yet he wanted her like he had never wanted anything in his entire life.

‘You’re a crazy woman,’ he whispered, ‘and I must be crazy too, because you’re right. I will always love you, Molly. I know I shouldn’t. I know you’re bad for me, and yet I can’t stop wanting you. All these years since you left me for John Tanner, I’ve thought about you every day. I’ve tried so hard to forget you. I’ve had many other women after you, but they were fleeting relationships. None of them could ever hold a candle to you.’