Ashley Croft - Love is the Drug

Sarah’s jaw dropped. ‘Please tell me I can’t feel this bad for the next three years.’

‘Oh no, I hope not. You won’t, I’m sure.’

Sarah’s disbelief must have been obvious because Ewan’s voice took on a slightly more soothing tone. ‘Sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m making things worse, aren’t I? I do that: make things worse for people whenever I open my mouth. I think I’m trying to help but I end up making people feel like shit. Anna – my ex – said I was the most tactless man on the planet. It was one of the reasons she ran off with a colleague, along with me being a workaholic and possibly a little bit obsessive.’

Even though she wasn’t reassured, Sarah managed a smile for him. ‘You’re not making things worse. I don’t feel they could be any worse at the moment and I know that getting over Niall will be awful, even though I would never take him back of course, which is exactly why I can’t face it.’

‘Well, at least you don’t work with this guy. Do you?’

‘No. He’s a paramedic.’ Hot anger surged through her veins again as she relived the scene in the cottage bedroom. ‘I came home after the party to find him having sex in our bed with the bloody woman who drives the ambulance. He was wearing one of my tiaras.’

‘Bloody hell …’ Ewan had hissed the words through his teeth but a nearby customer glared at him. He lowered his voice. ‘That’s terrible.’

All Sarah could do was nod.

‘Anna left me for one of the post-docs in my lab at my old uni. She was his boss and I was her colleague. It was crap having to work together every day. I left in the end and got the job here in Cambridge but the last three months were a hell on earth, seeing her and him together every day.’

‘I’ll bet it was,’ said Sarah innocently, knowing that Molly had told her about Ewan’s lecture on the perils of people working – and shagging – together.

‘However, I’ve learned my lesson. I will never get involved with anyone I work with again as much for their sake as well as mine,’ said Ewan firmly.

‘It sounds awful.’

‘Everyone in the lab knew what had happened between the three of us and I know most were waiting for me to have a meltdown or us all to have a bloody duel or something. People ended up taking sides and the atmosphere in the lab was a nightmare. You know, refusing to share offices or go to the pub together, sitting separately at lunch; acting like schoolkids. It was impossible to behave professionally or focus on our work and excruciating to have everyone at work knowing about our private lives.’ Ewan went on gloomily. ‘I took my eye off the ball and we missed out on a major grant that was vital to our work.’

Sarah felt sorry for him but she was way more worried for her sister’s chances with Ewan. They were looking worse by the minute and she had a suspicion that Ewan might be telling her his sorry tale precisely because he knew Sarah would be bound to pass on the conversation to Molly and warn her off. Oh shit.

Molly breezed up to the table in her hi-vis jacket carrying a cycle helmet. ‘Sarah! I am so sorry I’m late …’ She stared at Ewan like he was a zombie. ‘Ewan? What are you doing here?’

‘I was just going actually.’ He scraped back his chair and got to his feet with indecent haste.

Sarah cringed on Molly’s behalf. ‘I wasn’t feeling well and Ewan saw me. He bought me a drink,’ she said hastily.

‘I can see that. Why didn’t you text me?’

‘I … um …’ Sarah floundered. Ewan didn’t have to be a professor to realise that Sarah had expected Molly all along.

‘I must go. I’d hate to interrupt your lunch,’ he said coolly.

‘Wait, Ewan. I was going to mention that Molly was meeting me here but when we got talking, I um … forgot. Thanks for the tea and helping me.’

Ewan shrugged. ‘No problem. Take care. Bye, Molly.’

‘You don’t have to go.’ Sarah cringed as she and Molly both spoke at once and both sounded desperate.

‘I’ve been away long enough. Molly, see you later. I presume you were planning to come in later to finish the sequencing?’

‘Yes, but …’

But Ewan was out of there, leaving Molly glaring at Sarah.

‘Right. I’m going to get some more tea and when I come back,’ she said in an ominous tone, ‘I want you to tell me what Ewan said and I mean everything . Don’t spare me. I want you to be brutally honest.’

Sarah wasn’t in the mood for being brutal. She wasn’t even in the mood for being a teeny bit harsh. She would, eventually and tactfully, drop hints about Ewan’s private life but she wasn’t sure Molly could cope with the whole truth in one go.

Molly put a cup of ginger tea in front of Sarah and a hot chocolate topped with cream and marshmallows for her. The sight of the cream made Sarah feel woozy so she sipped her tea.

‘OK?’ Molly asked.

‘Yes, thanks.’

‘Good. Now, spill.’

‘We, um … just talked about the weather, mainly.’

‘The weather? Ewan doesn’t register if it’s arctic or tropical, he spends so long in the lab. You must have talked about other stuff.’

‘Honestly, I wasn’t feeling very well and I almost walked in front of a cyclist and he brought me in here and then, you came.’

‘Just what I suspected. He fancies you.’ Molly scooped some of the cream, and it oozed over the rim into her saucer.

Sarah tried to avert her eyes. ‘He doesn’t fancy me. He was just being kind because he’s a nice guy but I can see what you mean about him being blunt … Molly, don’t do that thing with your lips, like you’re pissed off because I swear on my life that Ewan likes you , because he pulled silly string out of your boobs and he snogged you with tongues and told you he wanted to take you to bed. He feels sorry for me and he wanted a break and a chat to someone who is nothing to do with the lab … Men don’t get much opportunity to talk about their feelings so I guess he just took a chance.’

‘Ewan looking for the chance to talk about his feelings?’ Molly snorted chocolate on the table. ‘But he must have known that whatever he “shared” would get straight back to me. So come on, share.’

Sarah tried, as tactfully as she could, to relay what Ewan had told her. Molly munched a pain au chocolat gloomily while Sarah relayed the conversation.

‘Jesus, you’ve found out more about his private life in ten minutes than I have in ten months. He hinted to me that his split with his wife had caused a lot of trouble at work but you got all the details. He must have known you’d pass it on. It’s a message to me: back off, there’s no hope.’

‘I’m not sure he did tell me so I could warn you. I think he genuinely wanted someone to talk to from outside of work.’

‘But he knows you’re my sister. He must have had an ulterior motive.’

‘Mol, have you ever thought that you might be overthinking this?’

‘Overthinking is my job.’ Molly paused. ‘He must fancy you.’

‘You’re wrong and even if he did like me in that way – which I’m absolutely sure he doesn’t – it wouldn’t matter. He is gorgeous and he’s nice but I don’t want Ewan. I don’t want anyone. I just want things back the way they were.’

‘Oh, hon, I wish I could do something to help you … Are you absolutely sure Ewan didn’t say anything else about me?’

By the time Molly had drunk the chocolate and eaten her pastry, Sarah had almost managed to convince her that Ewan hadn’t said anything momentous. Eventually, just as Sarah had despaired of ever being let off the hook, Molly gave her a sympathetic look.

‘You do look knackered. Here’s me, obsessing over bloody Ewan again and you have real problems. How did you get on at the doctor’s? Have they given you a due date?’