Fiona Gibson - Mum On The Run

Здесь есть возможность читать онлайн «Fiona Gibson - Mum On The Run» — ознакомительный отрывок электронной книги совершенно бесплатно, а после прочтения отрывка купить полную версию. В некоторых случаях можно слушать аудио, скачать через торрент в формате fb2 и присутствует краткое содержание. Жанр: unrecognised, на английском языке. Описание произведения, (предисловие) а так же отзывы посетителей доступны на портале библиотеки ЛибКат.

Mum On The Run: краткое содержание, описание и аннотация

Предлагаем к чтению аннотацию, описание, краткое содержание или предисловие (зависит от того, что написал сам автор книги «Mum On The Run»). Если вы не нашли необходимую информацию о книге — напишите в комментариях, мы постараемся отыскать её.

Laura Swan was dreading the school sports day Mum’s race - but whoever would have thought it could be quite so life-changing?Laugh-out-loud funny, Fiona’s writing deals with the real life cringe-worthy moments we all know so well…Sports Day at her children's school is a nightmare for Laura because of the event she dreads – the Mums' Race. She knows the other mothers have been in training for at least three months – even though they're trying to pretend that they haven't. Laura's vowed never to take part, but the morning of the School Sports Day she makes a fatal error and promises her daughter that if she eats her Rice Crispies, she will run. With no escape, Laura is forced to take part and as she moves towards her inevitable humiliation, she is horrified to spot her husband Jed flirting with Celeste the delectable French girl who works with him.Determined to put up a fight and to show Jed there is still plenty of spice left in their marriage, Laura decides it is time to give her body the work out it has been desperately crying out for. But when Laura makes a special new friend at the running club that she has joined, she gets much more than she bargained for.From buying sexy lingerie displayed alongside the gherkins at Tesco to struggling into the last playsuit in Topshop, this novel is full of humour and Laura is a true heroine for our times. A sparkling, witty novel, that fizzes off the page.

Mum On The Run — читать онлайн ознакомительный отрывок

Ниже представлен текст книги, разбитый по страницам. Система сохранения места последней прочитанной страницы, позволяет с удобством читать онлайн бесплатно книгу «Mum On The Run», без необходимости каждый раз заново искать на чём Вы остановились. Поставьте закладку, и сможете в любой момент перейти на страницу, на которой закончили чтение.

Тёмная тема
Сбросить

Интервал:

Закладка:

Сделать

‘Whoa,’ she says with a grin. ‘Lucky Jed.’

‘Well, he wasn’t. By the time I climbed into bed, he was already asleep.’

‘You should’ve been quicker,’ she sniggers. ‘What took you so long?’

I smirk, deciding that playgroup isn’t the place to tell Beth about my chicken-shave job. ‘I was getting ready,’ I murmur.

She rolls her eyes. ‘Well, make sure you’re quicker next time. He was probably just knackered. You should see Pete, falling asleep virtually every time he sits down. It’s a man thing. They come home and switch off and, next thing, it’s full-on REM sleep. Next time, give him a sharp prod and wake him up, especially if you’ve gone to all the bother of wearing stockings. I mean, what a bloody waste!’

I laugh, thinking, if only it was that simple. ‘I can imagine how he’d react if I rudely interrupted his beauty sleep,’ I murmur.

As the session progresses, the noise level increases to earsplitting levels. Jack, Beth’s three-year-old, grabs a scooter and hurtles recklessly across the gleaming wooden floor, bellowing out a shrill siren noise. Meanwhile, Toby proceeds to bang the metal xylophone furiously. ‘Not so loud!’ I call over.

‘I’m playing music,’ he yells back.

‘Yes, I know, but—’

‘No, it’s mine!’ he screams as a pig-tailed blonde tries to wrestle the hammer from his grasp.

‘Toby, it’s not yours.’ I rush towards him, but not fast enough to stop him whacking the girl on the forehead with the hammer. Screaming, she tears across the hall to be scooped up by her furious, red-faced mother. It’s their first time here. I doubt if they’ll ever come back.

‘I’m so sorry,’ I witter, scuttling over to check on the damage, as if I’m responsible for the throbbing pink splodge on the weeping child’s forehead. In a way, I guess I am. I’m Toby’s mother, his prime carer who’s supposedly in charge of teaching him how to behave nicely and kindly to others. Although he still demands to come to playgroup, and clearly enjoys it, he’s one of the oldest kids here and has really outgrown it. Maybe these violent outbursts are due to the fact that I’m not stimulating him enough.

‘It’s okay,’ the girl’s mother says, her eyes steely. ‘I don’t think she’s concussed or anything.’

‘God, I hope not. I’m so, so sorry. I think he was just, er, overexcited.’

The woman pulls in her lips and turns away from me. ‘Come on, Emily, darling. Let’s find you someone else to play with.’ Someone who’s not intent on causing GBH, is what she means.

‘You must never hit anyone like that,’ I bark, marching back to the music corner where Toby looks totally unconcerned. ‘That was very, very naughty and you’ve made a big pink mark on that little girl’s head. I want you to go over and say sorry.’

‘No!’ he yells, haring off to play with the doll’s house at the far end of the hall. He doesn’t play gentle games with it. The miniature people don’t sit around having quaint tea parties. If Toby’s involved, there has to be a fire, a burglary or some dreadful natural disaster. ‘It’s my xylophone,’ I hear him muttering.

Beth hands me another polystyrene cup of insipid coffee. ‘I can’t control him,’ I murmur, trying to steady my breathing. ‘God knows what he’ll be like when he starts school.’

‘Jack’s just the same. He drives Kira crazy, always trying to barge in and trash her room. And this morning he pulled down one of the living room curtains to wear as a cape . . .’

I smile, feeling marginally reassured. Toby’s behaviour probably is normal, at least for our family; Finn and Grace were a handful too, forever clambering all over the kitchen worktops and balancing perilously on the garden wall. However, I seemed to cope better when they were little, and fear that my reserves of tolerance have reached critically low levels.

Beth and I perch on the windowsill and sip our coffees. I was relieved to meet her, when we’d just moved to Yorkshire. Not only did she have big-age-gap children around Toby and Finn’s ages; she also didn’t assume I was some poncey, over-precious mother just because I’d come from London, as a few women seemed to. ‘Are you still running these days?’ I ask her.

She shakes her head. ‘No, I’ve let it slide really. All that getting up at the crack of dawn, and going out before Pete went to work . . .’

‘That takes dedication,’ I murmur.

‘Plus,’ she adds, prodding a hip, ‘I was starting to feel creaky. Age, I guess,’ she says, smiling. ‘It’s not great for the joints.’

‘Who cares about joints?’ I snigger.

‘You would, if you were an old crock like me . . .’

‘You know what?’ I say, filled with sudden enthusiasm. ‘I think I might give it a try. Maybe that’s what I need. Exercise I can just do, whenever Jed’s home and I get the chance to go out. It’d be a lot simpler than going to the gym, and it might shift this . . .’ I poke my belly.

‘Good for you,’ she says. ‘It’s brilliant actually. Great for stress levels too. I’d come with you, keep you company, but I don’t think the old knees could take it.’

‘Don’t worry,’ I say, laughing. ‘I’d have to go in the middle of the night anyway. Couldn’t risk being seen, could I?’

She shakes her head despairingly as I take my ringing mobile from my pocket. It’s Jed, which is unusual. He rarely phones during the day. ‘School boiler’s broken,’ he explains, ‘so I’m coming home early. Just wondered where you were.’

‘At playgroup,’ I tell him, adding, as a joke, ‘Why don’t you come along?’

‘I, um . . . where is it?’ he asks, sounding alarmed.

‘St Mary’s Hall. Didn’t you know that, Jed?’ I tease him.

‘Well, er . . .’

‘It’s on until three,’ I add. ‘Come on, you’ll love it and you’ll give all the mums here a treat.’

‘Well, er, I was just, um . . .’

‘Great. See you soon, love. Bye!’ I finish the call and grin at Beth.

Конец ознакомительного фрагмента.

Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес».

Прочитайте эту книгу целиком, купив полную легальную версию на ЛитРес.

Безопасно оплатить книгу можно банковской картой Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, со счета мобильного телефона, с платежного терминала, в салоне МТС или Связной, через PayPal, WebMoney, Яндекс.Деньги, QIWI Кошелек, бонусными картами или другим удобным Вам способом.

Тёмная тема
Сбросить

Интервал:

Закладка:

Сделать

Похожие книги на «Mum On The Run»

Представляем Вашему вниманию похожие книги на «Mum On The Run» списком для выбора. Мы отобрали схожую по названию и смыслу литературу в надежде предоставить читателям больше вариантов отыскать новые, интересные, ещё непрочитанные произведения.


Отзывы о книге «Mum On The Run»

Обсуждение, отзывы о книге «Mum On The Run» и просто собственные мнения читателей. Оставьте ваши комментарии, напишите, что Вы думаете о произведении, его смысле или главных героях. Укажите что конкретно понравилось, а что нет, и почему Вы так считаете.

x