Jade Goody - Forever in My Heart - The Story of My Battle Against Cancer

THE STORY OF MY BATTLE AGAINST CANCER

Jade

forever in my heart

JADE GOODY

Foreword by Jackiey Budden

Chapter 1 - The Horrible News

Chapter 2 - Lots of Tests

Chapter 3 - Getting Away From It All

Chapter 4 - Losing Jack

Chapter 5 - The Operation

Chapter 6 - Radio and Chemo

Chapter 7 - ‘I’m Working On It’

Chapter 8 - How Low Can You Go?

Chapter 9 - Finding the Fun

Chapter 10 - Getting Ready for Christmas

Chapter 11 - The Show Must Go On

Chapter 12 - The Bald Truth

Chapter 13 - Escape to the Sun

Chapter 14 - My Jack Comes Home

Chapter 15 - From Bad to Worse

Chapter 16 - Time Is Running Out

Chapter 17 - Planning the Wedding

Chapter 18 - Home Sweet Home

Chapter 19 - Here Comes the Bride!

Chapter 20 - Making Plans

Chapter 21 - Hanging in There

Chapter 22 - The Last Journey

Epilogue by Jackiey Budden

Acknowledgements

My Daughter’s Last Days by Jackiey Budden

Wish List

Copyright

About the Publisher

When my daughter Jade was born I had no idea what impact she would have on this world.

I split up with her father when she was about one and it’s just been me and her ever since. Until, that is, she arrived in the Big Brother house and the cameras joined her.

Jade has written in her autobiographies that I was not the best mother in the world. I took drugs for four years and let her down. Before that she helped care for me after a motorcycle accident that left me severely injured and without the use of my left arm.

Jade has always been there for me. When she was diagnosed with cancer it was my chance to be a good mum – and I think I proved to her I could do it.

As a child Jade loved performing. She was always making me sit on the settee to watch her sing a song or dance. Drama was the thing she did best at school. Then she got a job as a dental nurse and focused on having the stable life she longed for.

As her mother, I was last to know she’d entered the Big Brother auditions until she rang me screaming, ‘I’ve been kidnapped and am in Borehamwood somewhere!’ She’d been warned not to tell anyone and because of my big mouth I wasn’t told till the last minute.

Watching her on that TV screen made me so proud. Even when she stripped off for the poker game, I knew she was just trying to do the right thing. Jade was brought up to play games properly and follow the rules.

Afterwards, fame brought her more money than she’d ever imagined having. Suddenly she was able to live in a lovely house and have things she’d never dreamed of. And it didn’t change her one bit. She never saw herself as a celebrity. All her friends stayed the same and she lived a normal life. Her agent at the time said this wasn’t possible, but Jade proved it was.

I became a celebrity mum too and the drug days were soon behind me.

We’ve always had our ups and downs but this illness brought us closer than ever. Jade and I are one of the same picture. We’ve been best friends, flatmates, fighters, but always there for each other.

Of all her achievements, Bobby and Freddy are the ones that Jade is most proud of. They became her world and the money from her fame let her give them the life she never had.

Watching my daughter grow so ill with cancer has been a living nightmare. God has thrown some challenges at Jade and this one she tried so hard to fight for her boys.

These diaries show just how hard she fought. Despite the pain and the horrible treatments, her wicked sense of humour shines through on every page.

Jade’s courage and love for her family and friends is clear for everyone to see.

I hope people feel inspired by her honesty. Jade always tells things like they are. And as her mum, I am so very proud of that.

Jackiey Budden

20th March 2009

I’d been in the Indian Big Brother house for three days and was really enjoying myself. They were a nice bunch of people–a famous chef, actors and actresses, dancers, even an MP–and I think I was getting on well with all of them. It was early evening and I was just on my way to the kitchen to get something to eat when the Big Brother voice boomed out telling me to go to the Diary Room.

Off I went, thinking they’d be giving me another task or whatever. The worst I could think would happen was that the Indian public hated me and had decided to vote me off already. I sat in the big leather chair in the Diary Room and one of the production team passed me their mobile phone.

‘What’s going on?’ I said. ‘Hello?’

It was my agent, Mark Thomas, calling from London.

‘Jade,’ he said, gently. ‘Your consultant needs to talk to you. It’s about your test results and it’s very, very urgent.’

I thought it was a wind-up. ‘You’re kidding me?’ I said. But I could tell from Mark’s voice that it was something serious.

‘It’s potentially bad news so he’s going to ring you himself,’ he replied. ‘Just stay there and I’ll get him to give you a call.’

I knew straight away what it must be about. I’d had ongoing problems with my periods for years by this stage, then on the 2nd of August, a Saturday night, I collapsed at home bleeding really heavily. I called an ambulance and they took me to Harlow Hospital.

No-one knew what was wrong and they kept me in for days doing loads of tests.

I had blood tests and a scan and they all came up clear.

Then on the Wednesday they did some laser surgery. I’ve had this done twice before, so I knew what to expect. It’s still not nice, though, I’m telling you!

Then I got a call on the Thursday from Mark.

‘Guess what?’ he says. ‘Indian Big Brother want you in the house!’

I was well excited. And Shilpa Shetty was hosting it, a real sign of how things had turned around for me. But of course Mark was worried about my health.

‘Make sure the docs say you’re okay to do it,’ he said.

I told them I’d need to be away for three months and they said it was fine. ‘Take some painkillers and don’t worry,’ they said. I had a few more test results still to come back but no one seemed worried about them.

Sitting there in the Big Brother house waiting for the phone call, I realised it must be to do with that. It’s the only health problem I had. What on earth had they found now?

I had to wait a whole half hour. I just sat there, fidgeting, wondering if this was a weird joke. Big Brother sometimes plays tricks on you–it’s part of what you sign up for–but I didn’t think they would do something like this. Could it be someone from home playing a practical joke? If it was, what a horrible one!

Finally the mobile phone rang again and the production assistant handed it to me.

A doctor came on the phone and introduced himself, then he launched straight in with the news.

‘Jade, we’ve looked at your biopsy and there are severe abnormalities. You need to fly home immediately,’ he said.

‘You what?!’ I replied.

‘You have cancer, Jade. It’s real and it’s serious.’

He carried on talking but I couldn’t hear anything any more. There was a buzzing in my ears. My legs turned to mush and I started crying. Really crying. I sank down onto the carpet.

The only thought in my head was, ‘My boys! Oh my god, I’m going to die .’ I just heard the word ‘cancer’ and thought ‘this is it!’