Ben Stevens - A Gaijin's Guide to Japan - An alternative look at Japanese life, history and culture

The Friday Project

An imprint of HarperCollins Publishers Ltd.

1 London Bridge Street

London SE1 9GF

www.harpercollins.co.uk

First published by The Friday Project in 2009

Ben Stevens asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publishers

HarperCollins Publishers has made every reasonable effort to ensure that any picture content and written content in this ebook has been included or removed in accordance with the contractual and technological constrains in operation at the time of publication

Source ISBN: 9781906321215

Ebook Edition © OCTOBER 2009 ISBN: 9780007347421

Version: 2016-09-22

for Kazuyo

Cover Page

Title Page A GAIJIN’S GUIDE TO JAPAN An alternative look at Japanese life, history and culture Ben Stevens

Copyright Copyright Copyright Dedication Introduction A B C D E F G H I J K M N O P R S T U V W X Y Z Keep Reading Other Books By About the Publisher The Friday Project An imprint of HarperCollins Publishers Ltd. 1 London Bridge Street London SE1 9GF www.harpercollins.co.uk First published by The Friday Project in 2009 Ben Stevens asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publishers HarperCollins Publishers has made every reasonable effort to ensure that any picture content and written content in this ebook has been included or removed in accordance with the contractual and technological constrains in operation at the time of publication Source ISBN: 9781906321215 Ebook Edition © OCTOBER 2009 ISBN: 9780007347421 Version: 2016-09-22

Dedication for Kazuyo

Introduction INTRODUCTION In 1853, a Reverend Samuel Wells Williams—in Japan to act as translator to Commodore Matthew Perry ( See Black Ships, The )—declared the Land of the Rising Sun to be ‘…the most lewd of all the heathen nations I have seen’. As it transpired, however, the good Reverend was a bit of a dork who couldn’t even speak Japanese all that well, so we shouldn’t take his opinion too seriously. He was merely distressed that women laboured bare-breasted in the paddy fields—a fact which, if he’d lightened up a little, may well have actually put a smile on the miserable old coot’s face. Since then, a host of academics and other experts on Japanese history, language, culture and customs have pondered such important questions as: Why did nearly every Japanese woman under the age of thirty go nuts over David Beckham during and after the 2002 World Cup? Why will saying ‘ Chin-chin !’ at a Japanese drinking party result only in stony stares and an awkward silence? And is it really true that many samurai warriors liked—in their spare time—to get ‘down and dirty’ with one another? Here, finally, are explanations concerning these and many other weighty matters. (Around 200 of them, in fact.) I have compiled this book while residing in Japan, teaching English for a living (surprise, surprise), immersing myself in judo and karate training (the origami course was full) and occasionally indulging in the mystical, ancient art of karaoke . In A Gaijin’s Guide… , I set out to record everything that struck me as being relevant to this fascinating country. You hold the end result in your hands. Hopefully it will entertain, enlighten and otherwise delight you. Now, hajimashou —let’s begin…

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About the Publisher

In 1853, a Reverend Samuel Wells Williams—in Japan to act as translator to Commodore Matthew Perry ( See Black Ships, The)—declared the Land of the Rising Sun to be ‘…the most lewd of all the heathen nations I have seen’.

As it transpired, however, the good Reverend was a bit of a dork who couldn’t even speak Japanese all that well, so we shouldn’t take his opinion too seriously. He was merely distressed that women laboured bare-breasted in the paddy fields—a fact which, if he’d lightened up a little, may well have actually put a smile on the miserable old coot’s face.

Since then, a host of academics and other experts on Japanese history, language, culture and customs have pondered such important questions as: Why did nearly every Japanese woman under the age of thirty go nuts over David Beckhamduring and after the 2002 World Cup? Why will saying ‘ Chin-chin!’ at a Japanese drinking party result only in stony stares and an awkward silence? And is it really true that many samuraiwarriors liked—in their spare time—to get ‘down and dirty’ with one another?

Here, finally, are explanations concerning these and many other weighty matters. (Around 200 of them, in fact.) I have compiled this book while residing in Japan, teaching English for a living (surprise, surprise), immersing myself in judoand karate training (the origamicourse was full) and occasionally indulging in the mystical, ancient art of karaoke.

In A Gaijin’s Guide… , I set out to record everything that struck me as being relevant to this fascinating country. You hold the end result in your hands. Hopefully it will entertain, enlighten and otherwise delight you. Now, hajimashou —let’s begin…

I can pretty much guarantee that any male reading this is shortly going to be crossing his legs and wincing…You ready? Okay—born in 1905 to a respectable family of tatamimakers, Sada Abe became a rebellious teenager whom her parents, in despair, sold to a geishahouse. Unwilling to undertake the years of rigorous training necessary to become a geisha, however, Abe became a prostitute instead.

She seems to have had an insatiable appetite for sex, indulging in a string of lovers, as well as paying customers. However her physical desire came at a cost: on several occasions throughout her life, she would require treatment for syphilis.

It was when Abe quit prostitution to become a waitress that she met the man whom she thought would become the love of her life. Kichizo Ishida was the (married) owner of the Yoshidaya restaurant in Tokyo where Abe worked, and the pair were soon embroiled in an affair. His sexual stamina left even Abe reeling; on occasion the pair remained in bed for anything up to four days, with Ishida sometimes demanding that a shamisenplayer perform for them as they made love.