Sorrel Anderson - The Clumsies Make a Mess of the Airport

‘We’re not allowed any said Howard.

‘That’s OK, we haven’t got any said Purvis as Ortrud wildly.

Howard winced, and passed Purvis the leaflet.

said Purvis, reading it out. ‘It says,

“For the purposes of these rules and regulations wildlife is defined as any unauthorised animal including hedgehogs, donkeys, tigers, snakes—”’

‘Ortrud’s in the clear!’ Mickey Thompson.

‘I haven’t finished yet,’ said Purvis. ‘“Badgers, foxes, elephants—”’

‘Whoops,’ said Mickey Thompson, as Ortrud again even more wildly.

‘“Cows”,’ continued Purvis, ‘“wombats etc.; mice”.’

Everyone .

‘But we’re not said Mickey Thompson. ‘We live in Howard’s office; it’s all cosy, with biscuits.’

‘I know that and you know that,’ said Howard, ‘but the airport authorities don’t. They’ll say elephants and mice are things and that things are strictly against the rules. I’m not sure about Allen, either.’

Allen wagged his tail and his tongue lolled out.

‘Allen’s the least of any of us,’ said Purvis. ‘He won’t be any trouble.’

‘Of course he won’t,’ said Howard, patting Allen’s head.

‘Nor will we,’ said Mickey Thompson,

‘Of course you w…’ began Howard and stopped, and coughed. He walked over to some seats and sat down.

‘I don’t know what I was thinking,’ he said. ‘They’re never going to let me through with a dog, two mice and an elephant.’

‘Oh dear,’ said Purvis.

‘Ah well,’ said Howard, ‘never mind. I’ve managed without a holiday for – how is it now?’

Purvis opened his bag and took out a piece of paper covered in pencil marks. He counted them up.

‘Seven years, five months, three days,’ he said.

‘Then I can probably manage a little ,’ said Howard. ‘We’d better get back to the office.’

‘Howard!’ chorused the mice, disappointedly.

‘But our holiday, Howard,’ said Mickey Thompson. ‘We were going to fly.’

‘And snorkel,’ said Purvis, ‘and go to the beach, and play golf and, and… visit the Armitage Museum.’

Howard sadly and the mice exchanged glances then huddled together, .

‘What’s all the ?’ said Howard.

said Purvis.

‘Go on,’ Mickey Thompson.

‘The thing is,’ said Purvis.

‘What is the thing?’ said Howard.

‘Say it,’ Mickey Thompson.

said Purvis, swallowing. ‘Would you prefer it if we didn’t come?’

Howard his eyes.

he said. ‘Would I prefer it if you didn’t come, you say?’

The mice nodded.

‘If you didn’t have us you wouldn’t have any problems,’ said Purvis, ‘and you could still go and see your museum.’

‘Well, let me think…’ said Howard, so the mice stared at the ground and a bit while Howard pretended to think.

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‘Howard?’ said Purvis, after a while.

‘OF COURSE I WOULDN’T PREFER IT IF YOU DIDN’T COME!’ shouted Howard, . ‘I’ve never heard such nonsense.’

‘But—’ began Purvis.

‘But nothing,’ said Howard. ‘That settles it: one way or another I’m going on holiday and you’re all coming with me. Is that understood?’

Purvis let out a of relief and Mickey Thompson started to star-jump again in double quick time, so everyone else joined in.

‘That’s enough jumping for now, actually,’ Howard, quite quickly.

‘We still need to work out how to get through without anyone noticing, not to mention the—’

‘Mr Bullerton,’ Purvis.

‘We’re not taking him,’ said Howard, ‘and for once he needn’t worry us; he’s safely tucked away inside the office.’

‘Oh no he’s isn’t,’

Mickey Thompson.

‘LOOK OUT!’

shouted Purvis, and the mice and Allen and Ortrud shot under the seat just in time as Mr Bullerton, Howard’s boss, arrived.

He was dragging a shiny suitcase and wearing some stripey shorts, and looking even than usual.

‘Hello there,’ said Howard, trying to sound friendly.

said Mr Bullerton. ‘What do you think you’re doing, Howard Armitage?’

‘I’m going on holiday,’ said Howard.

‘Oh no you’re not,’ said Mr Bullerton.

‘But, but you said I could,’ said Howard.

‘But, but I’ve changed my mind,’ said Mr Bullerton, in a sneery voice. ‘I’ve decided I am the one who shall have a holiday and you are the one who shall work. Get back to the office.’

‘No,’ said Howard.

Mr Bullerton, turning puce.

‘I couldn’t possibly, I’m afraid,’ said Howard. ‘They’re all far too excited.’

‘They?’ said Mr Bullerton. ‘All? And wait, what’s this?’ He bent down and picked up Mickey Thompson’s sombrero, which was lying nearby. he said, sniffing it. ‘It’s the one off that stupid straw souvenir donkey you keep on your desk.’