Sorrel Anderson - The Clumsies Make a Mess of the Airport

and what to pack and what to say, but I couldn’t find anything about airports.’

‘Nothing at all?’ said Howard, sounding

‘No,’ said Purvis, ‘so I don’t know what it is we’re supposed to do here.’

‘It’s simple,’ said Howard. ‘First we check in at “check in”. He pointed at a sign marked “Check in”, and everyone looked and .

‘Check in,’ Mickey Thompson. ‘Check in.’

‘Then we go through security.’ Howard pointed at a queue of people shuffling quietly under a sign marked “Security”. Everyone nodded and looked.

‘After security we leave the “landside” part of the airport, which is here, and go to the “airside” part of the airport, which is through there.’ Howard pointed at some double doors marked “Airside through here”, and everyone looked slightly .

‘Then we wait until it’s time for us to .’

Mickey Thompson started again and stuck out his arms.

‘Not so ,’ said Howard, grabbing him before he could run off. ‘This airport is a and busy place full of and busy people, so it’s very important we all keep together: we don’t want anyone getting lost, or , do we?’

‘No, Howard,’ said the mice.

‘No, Howard,’ agreed Howard. ‘Please explain it to Allen and Ortrud, too.’

‘They heard you,’ said Purvis.

‘They’re still looking said Howard, peering at them. ‘No need for he said bracingly, again. ‘We’re all going to have a nice, holiday.’

‘We certainly are,’ said Purvis. ‘Ortrud wants to go snorkelling and Allen would like to try golf.’

‘Excellent,’ said Howard. ‘And I’m going to take you all to see the Armitage Museum.’

‘Oh,’ said Purvis. ‘Yes.’

‘Did you know,’ said Howard, ‘the Armitage Museum was founded by my great-great-great-great-great-great grandmother’s second cousin once removed, Miss Hortence-Howardenia Armitage?’

said Mickey Thompson. ‘You told us.’

‘The Armitage Museum,’ continued Howard, ‘contains Armitage-related memorabilia from around the world, including 392 photocopies of the birth, marriage and death certificates of Armitages past, and 64 newspaper cuttings.’

‘That’s , Howard,’ said Purvis, stifling a yawn.

‘It has the collection of… wait a minute,’ said Howard, staring at Allen and Ortrud, who had curled up and closed their eyes.

‘What’s wrong with them now?’

Howard,’ said Purvis. ‘ , shouldn’t we be getting along to check in?’

‘You’re right,’ said Howard. He picked up his bag and started in it. ‘I’ll just find my ticket and passport and stuff and oh dear.’

‘What’s wrong?’ said Purvis.

‘I’ve just had a thought,’ said Howard.

‘Where’s he going? What’s he doing?’ said Allen, jolting upright.

‘I’ve no idea,’ said Purvis.

‘I have,’ said Mickey Thompson. ‘He’s limbering up for the , of course. Come on.’ He put down his sombrero and started to star-jump, so Allen and Ortrud joined in while Purvis watched Howard head northwards, then leftwards, grab a handful of leaflets from a leaflet display, then turn and run towards them.

‘Right,’ said Howard, arriving back, and opening a leaflet marked, “Rules and Regulations, part 17(b), appendix 5, W-Z”. ‘I need to work out what to do next.’

‘Check in next, surely?’ said Purvis.

‘They’re limbering up,’ explained Purvis. ‘For the .’

‘I wish they wouldn’t,’ said Howard. ‘It’s distracting.’

‘That’s enough for now, actually,’ Mickey Thompson, rolling onto his back and flat on the floor. Allen and Ortrud rolled too and lay next to him.

‘So, Howard,’ said Purvis. ‘Is there a problem?’

‘Yes,’ said Howard. ‘I’d completely forgotten there are all sorts of rules and regulations about getting through check in and security and over to airside.’ He pointed at the double doors in the distance. Everyone looked at the doors and then at Howard.

‘What sort of rules and regulations?’ asked Purvis.