Sarwat Chadda - Ash Mistry and the City of Death

“You are a monster,” he said, looking at her as if for the first time. “How could I have been so blind?”

“You want me to say I’m sorry?” Parvati hissed. “Beg for forgiveness? Sit in the dark and feel sorry for myself? Do you know who I am?” She shoved Ash back. “I am the daughter of Ravana. I do not beg.”

She looked at him, the defiance fading with a sigh. “I'm not sorry for what I did, though I am sorry your friend is dead.” Parvati reached out to touch him, then stopped herself. “But do you think you’re the only one who’s suffered? I’ve lost friends, people more than friends, so many that I can’t even begin to remember them all. But each one, Ash, each one left a hole here.” She pointed at her heart. “That’s the true curse of immortality. Each success is so fleeting you wonder why you bother, yet each failure weighs down your soul with lead. That’s why rakshasas are such monsters. We must cut out that part that feels. Better to be cold, hard, become immune to pain.”

Ash lowered his fist. What was he doing? In spite of Gemma, Parvati was the closest friend he had. He owed her his life. “I just wish there was something I could do,” said Ash. “Gemma didn’t deserve to die.”

“Ash—”

Of course. It was so obvious. “I came back from the dead. Why not Gemma? There has to be a way.”

Parvati’s gaze darkened. “Kali brought you back. She reawakened your heart.” Her words came out cold and hard. “What you’re talking about is something only gods can do. And it is a decision best left to them. Who is worthy, who is not.”

“Are you saying Gemma’s not worthy?”

“What I’m saying is who are we to choose?”

“Gemma is worthy. She was a good person.”

Parvati’s response, a bitter laugh, stabbed him deep. “Oh, I did not realise you could see into people’s souls and know whether they are good or evil. You have become powerful.”

“That’s not what I mean and you know it.”

“Please, Ash…” It was almost a plea. “The girl you knew is gone.”

Now the thought was in his head he couldn’t let it go. Was there some way to fix the mistakes of the past? Rishi would have known what was possible and what was not. Get Gemma back. A vain delusion or a real hope? His head told him one thing, his heart another. Ash looked at Parvati as she inspected his bookshelves. Why wouldn’t she want Gemma to return? Was Elaine right? Did Parvati have her own agenda?

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