Michelle Madow - Diamonds in the Rough

“Thursdays during lunch block.” Courtney ran a hand through her hair and tried to relax, glad he’d changed the subject. “Why? Are you thinking of joining?”

“I’ll go to the first meeting with you and check it out. If I join, maybe I’ll make a short video about the house we build.”

“I would love that,” she said, meaning it. His face lit up, and she wanted to grab his hand, to move her chair closer to his, to lean into him and rest her head on his shoulder and enjoy the view of the lake…but she had to stop these thoughts. If she wanted to continue being around him—which she not only did but wouldn’t have a choice about once their parents were married—she had to make him believe she didn’t see him that way. So despite every muscle in her body begging her not to, she leaned away from him and said, “It would be nice to have a friend join with me.”

His face fell when she said the word friend, and the word tasted sour on her tongue. But then he sat up straighter and moved his chair closer to hers, and she knew he wasn’t going to leave it at that. She couldn’t back away, or get up in the pretense of having to be somewhere else, or do anything to discourage him…. She needed to know what he had to say. Not knowing would be positively painful.

“We both know that there’s more than friendship between us.” He rested his fingers on top of her hand, which she’d stupidly left on the armrest closest to him, and her skin heated, her breaths coming faster. “I know you’re trying to fight it, but, Courtney…I can tell that you want to be with me as much as I want to be with you. And there’s no reason for us not to be together. We could even be together in secret. No one has to know.”

His eyes blazed, daring her to be honest with him. She yearned to say yes, to be brave and follow her feelings, no matter the consequences.

But she couldn’t forget what Rebecca—Brett’s mom and her soon-to-be stepmother—had told her after seeing her and Brett kiss in public. Rebecca had taken her to brunch at the Grande Café in the Diamond the day after the grand opening, just the two of them, so that they could talk about it….

“It seems like you and Brett are getting along well.” Rebecca had been the one to start the conversation.

“We have a lot in common.” Courtney fidgeted. It wouldn’t be long until Rebecca mentioned the kiss—the kiss with Brett that had been incredible, but that she’d given in to despite Adrian’s rule that she and her sisters must not get romantically involved with their stepbrother-­to-be.

Rebecca nodded. “My son is a wonderful boy, and I would be proud of him dating someone as responsible as you.”

Courtney’s heart jumped. Maybe Rebecca wasn’t going to forbid her from dating Brett?

“Thank you,” she said, hoping the conversation would continue on this positive note. If Rebecca approved of Courtney being with Brett, she could convince Adrian to revoke his rule.

“However,” Rebecca said, and Courtney’s stomach dropped, her fork pausing midair, “while I know overcoming your feelings for Brett will be hard, Adrian and I have our reasons for not allowing this to continue.”

Courtney placed her fork down, her appetite gone. “But you said you would be happy if Brett and I were together?”

“I said I would be proud if he dated someone as responsible as you,” Rebecca repeated. “But we’re about to become a family.” She watched Courtney closely, as if begging her to understand.

But Courtney hadn’t defied the rules just to be put back into place. If she wanted Rebecca to understand where she was coming from, she would have to be vocal about her feelings. It would be awkward, because she didn’t know Rebecca well, but Brett was worth it.

“I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.” She spoke quietly, looking down at her barely touched brunch. “The connection between us….t’s real.”

Pity shone in Rebecca’s eyes. “I remember as a teen feeling like each relationship I was in would last forever, but unfortunately, it doesn’t always work like that.” She looked off into the distance, as if remembering something. “High school relationships end for various reasons, even if both people involved are fantastic individuals and have great times together. After those relationships end, it’s healthy to put that person in the past and move on with your life. But if you and Brett dated and it didn’t work out, you wouldn’t be able to put each other in the past, because you would also be step-siblings. It would strain the family, and it would put both of you through an incredible amount of pain.”

But it wouldn’t be like that between Courtney and Brett…. They were different. She couldn’t ignore her feelings for him because they might break up in the future.

On the other hand, Rebecca’s logic was irrefutable. If they did break up, they would be forced to see each other often. They would be a part of the same family. Every time they were around each other would be incredibly painful. Courtney was already dealing with that now, and they’d only been “together” for a week. What if they were together for months, and then had to go through something similar to what they were going through now? It would be torturous.

The smartest long-term decision was to push aside her feelings for Brett to save herself from that hurt in the future.

So after talking with Rebecca, Courtney had had a similar conversation with Brett, during which she’d explained the reasons they couldn’t date. He’d avoided her for weeks.

Now he was practically begging her to give them another chance. But despite wanting to give in—to say yes, she wanted to be together, and see how happy those words made him—she couldn’t do it. She would disappoint the family, and the pain she would go through if it didn’t work out between them scared her. Her sisters believed she was strong, that she could remain levelheaded in the face of anything, but that was only because she kept herself from making unwise decisions to begin with.

“What do you say?” Brett asked again. “Do you want to see where this leads?”

“We can’t.” Courtney pulled her hand away and laid it in her lap. Despite the desert heat, her skin felt cold where it had been touching his.

He sat back and scowled. “Is that really how you feel, or do you just not want to disappoint Adrian?”

“Not wanting to disappoint Adrian and your mom is part of it,” Courtney said, her voice low. “But you know my main reason.”

“How if it doesn’t work out, we’ll never get the space we need because we’ll be in the same family.” Brett repeated what she’d told him after that brunch with Rebecca.

“Yes.” She nodded, her throat tight from forcing the word out. “We’re not just two people who happened to fall for each other. In less than a year our parents will be married. If it doesn’t work between us, it could get extremely messy. We would still have to see each other, and it would be painful. Like what we’re going through now times a thousand.”

“So you do still have feelings for me.” His eyes gleamed triumphantly, and she couldn’t lie to him and deny it. “I knew it. But there’s another way to look at this…the way I choose to look at this. What if it does work out? Wouldn’t it be worth it?”

For a brief moment, Courtney imagined pushing aside logic and acting on her feelings. She loved spending time with Brett, and trusted that whatever was between them was real and deserved a chance. Maybe it would work, and maybe it wouldn’t. If it didn’t work out, she could worry about it then. That’s what Peyton would do. Sometimes Courtney wished she could be daring like her older sister, and let loose and enjoy the present without worrying about the future.