Benjamin Daniels - The Complete Confessions of a GP

The Friday Project

An imprint of HarperCollins Publishers 1 London Bridge Street London SE1 9GF www.harpercollins.co.uk

This ebook first published in Great Britain by HarperCollins Publishers Ltd 2015

Copyright © Benjamin Daniels 2015

Cover design © HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 2015

This book contains two previously published titles: Confessions of a GP and Further Confessions of a GP.

Benjamin Daniels asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library.

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this ebook on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.

Ebook Edition © April 2015 ISBN: 9780007569755

Version: 2015-06-27

Cover

Copyright Copyright Contents Cover Copyright Title Page About the Author Disclaimer Confessions of a GP Further Confessions of a GP Also in the Confessions Series About the Publisher The Friday Project An imprint of HarperCollins Publishers 1 London Bridge Street London SE1 9GF www.harpercollins.co.uk This ebook first published in Great Britain by HarperCollins Publishers Ltd 2015 Copyright © Benjamin Daniels 2015 Cover design © HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 2015 This book contains two previously published titles: Confessions of a GP and Further Confessions of a GP. Benjamin Daniels asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work. A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this ebook on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins. Ebook Edition © April 2015 ISBN: 9780007569755 Version: 2015-06-27

Title Page The Complete Confessions Dr Benjamin Daniels

About the Author About the Author DR BENJAMIN DANIELS is the pseudonym of a doctor currently working for the NHS. He can be reached at drbenjamindaniels@hotmail.co.uk and @drbendaniels1

Disclaimer The events described in this book are based on my experiences as a GP. For obvious reasons of privacy and confidentiality I have made certain changes, altered identifying features and fictionalised some aspects. Nonetheless, it remains an honest reflection of life as a doctor in Britain today. This is what it’s like. These things really happen.

Confessions of a GP

Further Confessions of a GP Конец ознакомительного фрагмента. Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес». Прочитайте эту книгу целиком, купив полную легальную версию на ЛитРес. Безопасно оплатить книгу можно банковской картой Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, со счета мобильного телефона, с платежного терминала, в салоне МТС или Связной, через PayPal, WebMoney, Яндекс.Деньги, QIWI Кошелек, бонусными картами или другим удобным Вам способом.

Also in the Confessions Series

About the Publisher Конец ознакомительного фрагмента. Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес». Прочитайте эту книгу целиком, купив полную легальную версию на ЛитРес. Безопасно оплатить книгу можно банковской картой Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, со счета мобильного телефона, с платежного терминала, в салоне МТС или Связной, через PayPal, WebMoney, Яндекс.Деньги, QIWI Кошелек, бонусными картами или другим удобным Вам способом.

DR BENJAMIN DANIELS is the pseudonym of a doctor currently working for the NHS. He can be reached at drbenjamindaniels@hotmail.co.ukand @drbendaniels1

The events described in this book are based on my experiences as a GP. For obvious reasons of privacy and confidentiality I have made certain changes, altered identifying features and fictionalised some aspects. Nonetheless, it remains an honest reflection of life as a doctor in Britain today. This is what it’s like. These things really happen.

Contents

Cover

Who am I?

Introduction

Mrs Peacock

Tom Jones

Targets

First day

Jargon

Proud to work for the NHS

Drug reps

Mr Tipton, the paedophile

Average day

Tara

Sex in the surgery

The elderly

Bums

Julia

Good doctors

Connor

Janine

Saving lives

Kirsty, the trannie

‘It’s my boobs, Doc’

Mr Hogden

Small talk

Notes

Lists

Ten minutes

Alf

Meningitis

Uzma

Africa

Evidence

Carolina

Lee

Hugging

Tough Life Syndrome

Mrs Briggs

Betty Bale’s cat

Vaccines

Darryl

The pat dog

Rina

Dos and don’ts

Home births

Michael

Alternative medicine

Thai bride

Dead people

Holistic earwax

Obesity register

Dr Arbury

Body fluids

Racism

Sleep

Magic wand

Cannabis

Sick notes

Drug reps … again

Mistakes … I’ve made a few

Dying

Happy pills

Top 1 per cent of the population

Computers

Kieran

Peter

Granny dumping

Aggressive conduct disorder

Ed

Camouflage man

Memories

Fighting

Class

Tingling ear syndrome

Gary

Beach medicine

Gifts

Politics

Passing judgement

The examination game

Sex

Money

Angela

I don’t like some of my patients

Boundaries

Smoking

Angry man

Maintaining interest

The future?

Tariq

Babies

Read on for some brand-new chapters from Dr Daniels …

Why do people get sick?

Malcolm

A pair of glasses

Stewart

NHS reforms

Barry

Tuition fees

Please don’t outsource our receptionists

Fit to work?

Royal Wedding

Abortion

Taking responsibility

France vs UK

The NHS is brill

My patients are brill

Humans have a universal desire to be listened to and share their stories of pain and suffering. My job as a GP is to listen to those stories. Sometimes I interject with some suggestions or medications, but more often I am simply a passive observer of the soap operas that are people’s lives. With regular appointments, I watch the characters develop and the narratives unfold. Although some of my patients have an overinflated view of my significance, I really am just a walk-on part in their lives. I’m like the extra in the corner of the Queen Vic who tries his best to play a small role in one or two of the storylines, but in reality rarely affects the progress of the plot or the big ending. The advantage I do have is that I get to watch the story unfold from a unique and fascinating angle. Being a doctor gives me a privileged insight into the more private and often bizarre aspects of human life and, with that in mind, let me share some slices of my working life with you.