Lauren Weisberger - Revenge Wears Prada - The Devil Returns

you’re walking, sister Table of Contents Title Page Revenge Wears Prada Lauren Weisberger Dedication For R and S, with love 1. as long as she lived 2. learning to love the hamptons: 2009 3. you’re walking, sister 4. and it’s official! 5. i’d hardly call it dating 6. writing the obit doesn’t make it true 7. boys will be boys 8. no david’s bridal, no baby’s breath, no dyeable shoes of any kind 9. virgin piñas all around 10. one half of a robe made for two 11. more or less famous than beyoncé? 12. trumped-up harassment charges plus a straitjacket or two 13. i could easily be dead by then 14. miranda priestly all but called you gorgeous 15. i’m here to tell you that not not-trying is trying 16. give him a test drive 17. james bond meets pretty woman, with a little dash of mary poppins 18. stop talking and step away 19. ceviche and snakeskin: a night of terror 20. a shipping container of botox 21. in your own best interest 22. details, details 23. cougar mama to a golden-bronze man-boy 24. that’s all Acknowledgments About the Author Also by Lauren Weisberger Copyright About the Publisher

‘Don’t worry, sweetheart, everyone’s nervous on her wedding day. But I’m sure you know that. You must have seen it all by now, am I right? You and me, girl, we could write a book!’

Nina guided Andy into the bridal suite with a hand planted firmly in the small of her back. The spectacular reds and oranges and yellows of the changing leaves stretched out for miles through the large picture window that spanned the length of the suite. Fall foliage in Rhinebeck had to be the best in the world. Mere minutes before the view had filled her with happy memories of growing up in Connecticut: crisp fall days that heralded football games, and apple picking, and later, a return to campus to start a new semester. Now the colors looked muted, the sky almost ominous. She grabbed the antique writing desk for support.

‘Can I get some water?’ Andy asked, the acidic taste in her mouth threatening to make her sick once again.

‘Of course, dear. Just be careful.’ Nina unscrewed the cap and handed it to her.

The water tasted metallic.

‘Lydia and her team are almost done with your bridesmaids and mother, and then she’ll be back to touch you up.’

Andy nodded.

‘Oh, sweetheart, everything’s going to be just fine! A little case of the butterflies is perfectly normal. But those doors will open and you’ll see your handsome groom waiting at the end of the aisle for you … you won’t be able to think of anything in the world but walking into his arms.’

Andy shuddered. Her soon-to-be-husband’s mother hated her. Or at least didn’t approve of the wedding. She knew most brides and their mothers-in-law had issues, but this went beyond. It was a bad omen at best, a potential nightmare at worst. Surely she could work on the relationship with Barbara. She’d make a point of it. But she’d never be Katherine. And what about Katherine in Bermuda? Why had Max failed to mention the whole interaction ? If there was nothing to hide, why was he hiding it? Regardless of what had unfolded, she needed an explanation.

‘Which reminds me – did I ever tell you about my bride who was marrying the Qatari oil czar? Real feisty girl with a quick mouth on her? They had just under a thousand people, rented out Necker Island in the British Virgin Islands and flew in all their guests. Anyway, they’d been fighting all week, arguing about everything from the seating assignments to which of their mothers would get the first dance. Normal stuff. But then on the morning of the wedding, the bride makes a comment to her cousin about her career as a television anchor, something like ‘‘So and so said he thinks I only have another six months, maybe a year doing local before I get an offer from one of the networks,” and the Qatari just flipped. Asked her in this real low, angry voice what she was talking about – hadn’t they agreed she would no longer work after the wedding? And I’m like, whoa! This is a pretty big issue to have not worked out beforehand.’

Andy couldn’t focus on anything but the knot of tension in her forehead. A dull ache. She desperately wanted Nina to stop talking.

‘Nina, I really—’

‘Wait, this is the best part. So, I leave them alone to hash it out, and when I come back a half hour later, they seem okay. Problem solved, right? So boom, boom, boom, the groom walks, the bridesmaids walk, the cute little flower girls walk, and then it’s just the bride, her father, and myself. Everything is going according to schedule. Her song begins, the entire ballroom turns to look at her, and with this huge beautiful smile on her face, she leans in close to whisper in my ear. You know what she says?’

Andy shook her head.

‘She says, “Thank you for making everything so perfect, Nina. This is exactly what I wanted, and I’m definitely going to use you for my next wedding.” And then she took her father’s arm, held her head high, and walked! Do you believe it? She walked! ’

Despite feeling uncomfortably warm, almost feverish, Andy got goose bumps. ‘Did you ever hear from her again?’ she asked.

‘Sure did. She divorced him two months later, and she was engaged again a year after that. Second wedding was a little smaller but just as pretty. I get it, though. It’s one thing to call off an engagement or even a wedding once the invitations are out – it’s hard, but it happens. But on the actual day? You’re walking, sister. Get yourself down that aisle and do whatever you have to do afterward, you know?’ Nina laughed and took a swill from her own water bottle. Her ponytail bobbed cheerily.

Andy nodded meekly. She and Emily talked about that all the time. In the almost three years since they’d launched The Plunge, they’d seen a handful of weddings called off in the final weeks before the big day. But on the actual day itself? Not one.

‘Come, let’s get you in the chair with the cape on so you’ll be ready for Lydia. She knows to tone down the makeup once they’re finished shooting the portraits. Oh, I’m just so excited to see this on the page! It’s going to sell a trillion copies.’

Nina was tactful enough not to say what they were both thinking: this wedding would sell a trillion copies not because Andy was a cofounder of the magazine she would be appearing in, or because Monique Lhuillier had personally designed Andy’s one-of-a-kind wedding gown, or because Barbara Harrison had expertly sourced the finest wedding planner, florists, and caterers money could buy, but because Max was the third-generation president and CEO of one of the most successful media companies in America. No matter that the economic downturn combined with some poor investment decisions meant Max had to sell off the family’s real estate piece by piece. That Max worried constantly about the financial viability of the company mattered very little to the general public: the Harrison family name, combined with good looks, impeccable manners, and impressive educations, helped maintain the illusion that Max, his sister, and his mother were worth far more than they were in reality. It had been years since they’d been named to Forbes ’s richest-Americans list, but the perception remained.

‘It sure is,’ she heard a voice behind her sing. ‘This wedding is going to sell us right off the newsstands,’ Emily said with a twirl and a curtsy. ‘Do you realize this may be the first nonhideous bridesmaid dress in the history of wedding attendants? If you insist on bridesmaids – which I personally think are tacky to begin with – then at least these dresses aren’t terrible.’

Andy swiveled in her chair for a better look. With her hair swept up and her long, graceful neck on display, Emily looked like a gorgeous, delicate china doll. The plummy shade of the silk brought out the rosiness in her cheeks and accentuated her blue eyes; the fabric draped languidly across her chest and hips and flowed down to her ankles. Leave it to Emily to show her up on her own wedding day, and in a bridesmaid dress no less.