Beth Kery - If I Can't Have You

Sometimes he was convinced that he couldn’t stand Colleen when she turned on her Princess of the Icy Realm act, but his irritation at her was usually only short-lived. He understood that their uneasy history sparked her hostility, and she did it to defend against past hurt. Once he got some distance from her, his annoyance at her would become tinged with sadness.

He’d watched her work, and the truth was, he admired her. She was no pushover, and the patients at The Family Center knew better than to try to manipulate her. Her kindness wasn’t of the “sweet” variety, but the deep, enduring, measurable type; it was demonstrated daily through her relentless faith in people’s ability to heal and her track record for going the extra mile for her patients—not occasionally but as a matter of course.

It sucked, plain and simple, knowing he was one of the few people on the planet who couldn’t make Colleen smile. He wished he hadn’t been forced into admiring and respecting her from a distance. He’d rather be doing it up close and personal.

“I’m right in here,” he said.

She followed him into his office. He sat on the edge of his desk and observed her while she glanced around curiously and then wandered over to his bookcase, smiling when she saw a photo of a ten-year-old Natalie. Nat wore a tutu and an anxious, hopeful smile. Colleen took a few steps and looked closely at his diplomas, and then his old hockey stick from college. She sobered when she saw the photo of his mother.

There it was.

For the thousandth time, he wished the weight of the past didn’t stand like a ten-foot-thick barrier between them.

“They say that men who are so neat have something to hide,” she said briskly as she turned around. She sat down in one of the chairs in front of his desk and crossed those long, booted legs.

“Who are they, exactly?”

“Okay. I say that,” she replied with a bewitching little smile.

“I thought women liked a man who picked up after himself.”

“Maybe some women.” Her eyes flickered over him briefly before she glanced out the window at the brilliantly sunny fall day. For a moment, he took pleasure in examining her while his regard went unnoticed. Her heart-shaped face managed to convey delicate, feminine beauty and strength all at once. She wore her bangs long and spiky. They highlighted her large, expressive eyes to perfection. Her hair was loosely curled and tumbled around her upper arms and back, and as always, he experienced a desire to delve his fingers into those glossy locks.

“So, what did you want to talk to me about?” she prompted.

He cleared his throat and forced himself to focus.

“I was watching you in the waiting room when Liam and Natalie announced they were getting married. I saw your expression. I know I’m not the only one who thinks they’re being impulsive about this.”

Colleen shrugged. “I didn’t make a secret of it. My brother is a wonderful man. He’ll make Natalie very happy. You’ve got nothing to complain about.”

“And you do?”

She stood up quickly. “Not at all. I happen to like Natalie very much.”

“I like Liam, as well. I do,” he said when she gave him an incredulous glance. “Granted, I haven’t always. But he’s gone out of his way to get to know me over the past few months. I know that hasn’t been easy for him, either. I respect the fact that he’s done it for Natalie’s sake. He’s not the first person I’d pick for Nat, but—believe it or not—he’s not the last,” he admitted gruffly.

“Stop. Your benevolence is overpowering me.”

“Cut the sarcasm for a second, will you? I’m trying to talk to you about something serious. You can listen to everyone else on the damn planet. Can’t you do it with me for ten minutes?”

She froze. He hadn’t intended to sound so sharp. Regret swept through him when he saw the color fade from her cheeks. He closed his eyes briefly and took a deep breath.

“I care about my sister, and I know you feel the same for Liam. Would it be so awful for us to both think they’re rushing into this marriage? Would it really be so terrible for us to share an opinion on something?”

She glanced away from him. He guessed he’d irritated her, but he sensed she was torn, as well.

“You know what I mean, Colleen,” he continued in a low voice. “Even though you don’t want to admit it, you think they’re making this decision rashly. You don’t want to see Liam get hurt any more than I want to see Nat suffer.”

She said nothing as she stared out the window. Despite her cold expression, he knew if he touched her smooth cheek, she’d be warm.

And soft.

He stood and walked around his desk, moving away from her because he had a sudden desire to move closer. His movement put him in her line of vision. He caught her eye.

“You know I’m right,” he said quietly.

She looked annoyed. “Why do you always have to make a habit of proving that point?”

He shrugged and fell into his desk chair. He stretched and placed his hands behind his head. She glanced down over his neck and chest. He went still in sudden awareness.

She looked abruptly out the window. “There’s nothing we can do. They’ve made up their minds. You know how impossible it can be to talk reason to two people who are drunk in love with each other.”

“We have nearly two months to make them pause and reconsider their hastiness in the matter.”

Her eyes flashed at him. “We?” she asked, looking haughty—and damn beautiful. He nodded soberly, trying to prove to himself he was affected by neither of those things. He had a lot of experience, at this point, in deflecting Colleen’s burning stares.

Her beauty was a lot more difficult to ignore.

“Look, Marc and Mari will also be in the wedding party,” he said, referring to Colleen’s brother and his wife. “But you and I live here in Harbor Town. We’ll hire a wedding planner, but we’ll probably be the relatives most involved in the preparations.”

“And you’re reminding me of these unfortunate circumstances because…”

“Because it will give us a chance to…tweak the situation a little. Maybe provide Liam and Natalie with some more realistic perspectives on just how serious the venture of marriage is, and encourage them to take some time and at least think about extending their engagement.”

She stared at him, then shook her head slowly. “You’ve got real nerve, you know that, Reyes?”

He smiled.

Color rushed into her cheeks. “It wasn’t a compliment,” she snapped.

He shrugged, hiding his grin with effort. Even when she snarled at him, she appealed. “Either way, you must realize what I’m saying makes sense. It’s not just Natalie I’m thinking of here. It’s Liam, too.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Do not try and make it seem like you’re being generous. It’s weakening your case. Considerably.” She began to pace in front of his desk. “Even if I did agree with you that they’re being impulsive, there’s nothing we can do. I know it won’t make any difference for me to talk to Liam about it. He’s stubborn as an ox when he makes up his mind about something, a Kavanaugh through and through.” She looked up. “Can you talk to Natalie?”

“I’ve tried a dozen times. It’s like talking to steel armor. The Kavanaughs haven’t cornered the market on stubbornness,” he said mildly.

“Humph,” she muttered, her sweeping gaze telling him loud and clear that while she doubted his claim in his sweet sister’s case, she certainly believed he’d received his fair share of bullheadedness. “What exactly do you mean by ‘tweaking the circumstances’? Do you want me to reveal some deep, dark secret about Liam to Natalie? Should I tell her that he used to not change the empty toilet-paper roll when he was fourteen years old? Do you think that will send her running?”