Beth Kery - If I Can't Have You

“Am I? You didn’t come out here to throw it in my face? This beach wasn’t just one more thing you can take from a Kavanaugh? This isn’t your victory lap?”

He shook his head slowly. “You really are a little princess.”

Her heart started to pound out a warning in her ears. She stepped closer, her jaw clenched hard. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You didn’t know that’s what the guys used to call you? Little Princess Kavanaugh. Well, I’m real sorry if I knocked off your crown.”

“How dare you say something like that to me,” she breathed out through a constricted throat.

“Seems to me you dare worse, only you don’t seem to mind if your insults are based on ignorance.”

She was so furious—so agitated—her consciousness went hazy. Maybe it was because her heart was charging like an out-of-control locomotive, but the world took on a surreal cast. When she turned jerkily to retrieve her items from the beach, she stumbled and nearly did a face-plant on the sand.

Eric caught her left upper arm, then steadied her further by grasping her right. She tried to jerk out of his hold, made a little wild by boiling emotion.

“Colleen, stop it. Please.”

His voice barely penetrated her chaotic emotions. She couldn’t believe this was happening to her. The explosion of feeling had come out of nowhere.

Or maybe it hadn’t.

Maybe it’d been brewing since the night she’d gotten that phone call while she was at camp when she was sixteen years old. Maybe this cyclone of feeling started to coalesce when she’d learned her father was dead, as were three other people he’d crashed into while he’d been driving drunk.

She heaved again, trying desperately to break his hold on her, but he was every bit as strong and fit as he appeared. Instead of releasing her, he cursed beneath his breath and turned her toward him, now holding her securely by her shoulders. Distantly, she realized her cheeks were wet with tears. Humiliation surged through her. She hated that he was staring at her with those concerned, knowing eyes, seeing the evidence of her vulnerability.

“Let go of me,” she grated out.

But as her feet faltered in the soft sand yet again, he brought her closer to his body, attempting to steady both of them at once.

“You’re going to hurt one or both of us. Just calm down,” he said, his voice low, but resonant with emotion.

His warm breath struck her from above, whisking across her right temple. She went still in sudden awareness. His arms were around her, her breasts were plastered against his chest. His heat penetrated though his clothing and emanated into her damp, naked skin. Her eyes widened when she felt his body harden against her, as if he’d become aware of her at the precise moment she’d become aware of him.

“Colleen?”

She blinked. His quiet voice had felt like a caress.

She wanted to look up into his face at that moment…open herself to him…just a crack.

The realization made her start to struggle again, this time with increased force. Her heart bounded in her chest as if in a panic to escape her rib cage. She caught him off guard after her moment of stillness. He cursed—loudly this time—when she forced him off balance. They both went down on the beach, a surprised oomph escaping her throat at the impact of her hip hitting the sugar-soft sand.

“Are you okay?” he asked anxiously.

“I…I…yes, I’m fine.” The abrupt fall seemed to have popped the anger right out of her, leaving her stunned and breathless.

She stared into his face. He sprawled over her body, his elbows in the sand. He felt large and hard, covering her with plenty to spare. She couldn’t comprehend how his eyes could be so dark and yet blaze so hot.

The moment stretched like a live wire drawn taut.

Colleen didn’t know how it happened—had he leaned down, or had she strained toward him?—but suddenly his mouth was on hers, his lips firm and demanding. Hungry.

Everything transformed in a split second. Need rose in her with the strength of a striking talon. She tangled her fingers in his hair and scraped his scalp with her fingernails. He groaned low in his throat and slanted his mouth at a different angle, his kiss somehow tender and ravishing at once. The tip of his tongue slid along the seam of her lips.

She parted her lips and slid her tongue against his, arching her back into him, this time of her own volition, compelled by sudden, driving desire. The hardness of his chest was such a welcome relief to the aching tips of her breasts. She pressed down on his back, desperate for more of the sensation of him. Heat seared her from the inside out, softening her, filling her…thawing her.

She gasped in dazed disapproval when the pressure of his mouth disappeared. Eyelids heavy, she met his gaze. He stared down at her, his facial muscles rigid, his nostrils slightly flared. He looked exactly like what he was: a virile male primed to stake his claim. Part of her longed for him to do just that.

The other part saw the question in his eyes. His bewilderment struck her like ice water splashing on her heated face.

She shoved him away. Reality must have hit him at the same moment, because she didn’t have to push very hard. He rolled off her. Colleen found herself panting softly and staring up at a lavender-blue sky.

For a full ten seconds, she just lay there, her body vibrating with shock and the remnants of blazing arousal.

It couldn’t have happened.

She touched her lips with her fingertips. They felt damp and slightly swollen. She sat up abruptly at the undeniable evidence that she hadn’t been under the influence of a bizarre hallucination.

Eric lay on his back in the sand, staring blankly up at the darkening sky. He looked like she felt—as if someone had just taken a swing at his head with a two-by-four. He didn’t move, but his gaze flickered over her. His eyes focused when they found her face. They softened.

Two thoughts soared into her brain, the first causing anguish, the second panic.

She hadn’t felt desire that powerful, that imperative, since Darin had died.

No. She’d never felt anything like that.

She scrambled up from the beach.

“Colleen!”

She grabbed her shorts and hurriedly stepped into them, nearly falling over again in the process. She refused to look at him, but out of the periphery of her vision she realized he’d sat up and was watching her.

“Colleen,” he repeated. “Don’t leave. Talk to me.”

Her heart felt enlarged, like it was pressing too tight against her breastbone. Unwanted tears blurred her vision. What was wrong with her? She’d just kissed Eric Reyes like her life depended on it. Now his deep, low voice coaxed her in the twilight.

“Just…just leave me alone,” she said haltingly—stupidly—before she yanked her T-shirt over her head.

He picked up her tote bag, holding it out to her like a peace offering. “I didn’t come out here to ask you to leave. I’ve watched you swim here the last few summers. I came out here tonight to tell you to continue.”

Her head swung around, and their gazes locked. She wished like hell she didn’t believe him. His kindness was too much to bear after that sudden upsurge of grief and anger followed by that inexplicable blaze of pure desire. A wild need to escape overwhelmed her.

Tears blurred her vision as she grabbed her tote bag and jogged across the sand, leaving the source of her turmoil behind.

Chapter One

The first thing Colleen Kavanaugh Sinclair saw when she walked into Dr. Fielding’s familiar examination room was her son, Brendan, slouching in a chair. The second thing was her arch-nemesis standing nonchalantly next to him. Once she took in Eric Reyes’s unexpected presence, pretty much everything faded from her awareness for two stunned seconds.