Kate Hardy - Passionate Affairs - Breakfast at Giovanni's

‘Your family definitely knows how to party,’ Fran said, smiling at Gio when the cheers had died down and the band was playing again.

‘Years of practice,’ Gio said. ‘Let’s get some food and escape outside. It’s boiling in here.’

Once he’d piled a plate with assorted canapés and dips, they found a quiet corner in the grounds. Gio looked at the bench, then at Fran’s dress. ‘Some of that varnish is peeling. I don’t want it ruining your dress. Better sit on my lap.’

From another man, it would be a cheesy excuse. From Gio, it was practical common sense. So when he set the plate down on the bench beside them, she acquiesced without making a fuss, settling herself on his lap and resting one hand on his shoulder for balance.

The fact that his hand was resting on the curve of her waist really shouldn’t be sending these little shivers through her body, she thought. He’d only done it to make sure she didn’t accidentally slide off his lap. And she really shouldn’t get used to being close to him like this. Close and personal.

Striving to keep her voice normal, she said, ‘It’s quite an evening.’

‘When we were kids, we used to have a bouncy castle and a barbecue in the back garden. But as we grew older and the family’s grown bigger, Mum decided to hire a hall and a band.’ He sighed. ‘To be honest, I’d much rather have a quiet night out somewhere. See a good film or a show. But Mum, Nonna and the girls really enjoy it. They love planning the party and getting dressed up and having an excuse to get everyone together and talk so much that they end up with sore throats the next day.’

‘So you put up with it for their sake?’ Fran guessed.

‘Yeah.’ Gio shrugged. ‘Just call me Saint Giovanni.’

She gave in to the temptation to stroke his cheek. Freshly shaven. Smooth and soft and sensual. ‘You’re a good man,’ she said.

He turned his head slightly and pressed a kiss into her palm—like the way she’d pressed a kiss into his palm that afternoon when he’d kissed her on her sofa. ‘Not really. I let my family down once—at the time when they needed me most. I promised myself I would never do that again.’

‘Everyone else forgave you long ago—if they ever blamed you in the first place.’Which, having met his family, she very much doubted. ‘Your dad’s heart attack wasn’t your fault. When are you going to forgive yourself, Gio?’

‘I don’t know.’ He sighed. ‘Can we change the subject, please?’

This wasn’t the time or the place to push him. ‘Sure. What do you want to talk about?’

‘Dunno.’

He looked utterly lost, and it made her heart ache. She leaned forward and kissed the tip of his nose.

He looked up at her, his eyes dark, and his hands tightened round her waist. ‘Why did you do that?’

She opted for honesty. ‘Because you’re hurting, Gio, and I want to make you feel better.’

She couldn’t help staring at his mouth. Even though he was in a bleak mood, right now, there was still a tiny curve upwards at the corner of his lips. That irrepressible, funny man she’d grown to l—

Whoops. She was getting too much into this role of being Gio’s girlfriend. Better remember she was just his office manager, and this was just for show. ‘Talk to me,’ she said softly. ‘Tell me what’s wrong.’

He shook his head. ‘Just ignore me. I’m in a funny mood.’

She stroked his face again, and her skin tingled at the contact. ‘I’m going to quote Nonna back at you. “A problem shared is a problem halved.” You helped me when I hit a bad patch. Now you’re having a bad patch and it’s my turn to help you. So tell me what’s put you in that mood. Is it work?’

‘No.’ He sounded very definite.

‘What, then?’

‘I don’t know. It’s just this feeling of something…’He shook his head in obvious frustration. ‘Something missing , I suppose. I can’t explain it. If I knew what it was, I could do something about it. But there’s just this black hole staring at me.’

‘Your music?’ she guessed.

‘No. I still play, for me.’

And he’d played for her, too.

‘You could go back to it. You don’t have to expand the café chain—it’s doing fine as it is. Take a sabbatical,’ she suggested. ‘Be a musician.’

‘How? Busking on street corners?’

She shook her head. ‘There’s nothing to stop you playing a concert once in a while. An arts centre, a gallery—even in Giovanni’s. You’re thinking of opening one evening a week in Holborn for the book group. Why not open another evening a week as a classical music night, maybe at Charlotte Street? Play the music you love for people?’

He took a deep breath. ‘I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m good enough, any more.’

‘What you played for me was good,’ she said. ‘OK, so I’m not a music critic and your technique could’ve been all over the place, for all I know—but none of the notes sounded wrong. I liked it. And there are plenty of people out there who’d like to relax with a decent cup of coffee and one of Ingrid’s fabulous cakes and listen to something to help them chill out.’

‘Be a musician.’ He stared at her, though it was as if he wasn’t seeing her. As if he was some place far, far away. ‘I don’t know, Fran. The more I think about it, the more I’m sure that being a musician wouldn’t have been the right life for me. I don’t want to be constantly on the road, or doing bits and pieces and trying to scrape a living. I know I wouldn’t have had the patience to teach.’

‘Are you sure about that? You did a good job of teaching me to make espresso.’

‘Which is not the same thing at all as teaching someone who can either sing in tune, but has no sense of rhythm, or can sing with the beat, but is completely tuneless. That’s more like nails scraping down a blackboard, and I’m not noble enough to pretend it doesn’t matter and gently guide whoever it is into a better technique.’ He sighed. ‘I just feel I’m looking for something, Fran. Searching. And I don’t know what I’m looking for or even where to look.’

‘Maybe you’ll know when you find it.’

‘Maybe. But right now I feel like the most selfish man on earth. I have so many good things in my life. I love my family, I have free rein in my job, I like where I live. So why can’t I be satisfied with what I have?’

She held him close. ‘I can’t answer that. But I do know your family love you, your employees respect you, and you’re a good man. Don’t be so hard on yourself.’

‘Hard on myself? That,’ Gio said wryly, ‘is most definitely the pot calling the kettle black.’

‘But that’s not up for discussion.’

He rested his forehead against her temple. ‘Now who’s being difficult?’

His breath fanned her cheek, and it was, oh, so tempting to turn her head slightly, let her mouth brush against his. Kiss his blues away. But that wouldn’t solve anything: that would just put off the problem. Right now, he needed her to keep this light. ‘Not me,’ she said with a smile. ‘Come on. Let’s go and dance your blues away.’

After a few minutes of throwing themselves into the music, she was relieved to see that his bleak mood lifted slightly and he was starting to smile again. But somehow they’d moved near to the stage, and the singer had caught sight of them.

‘Gio! Come up and play with us, my friend,’ he called when the song had finished.

Gio shook his head. ‘No, I’m fine in the audience, thanks.’

‘Come on,’ the singer wheedled. ‘You know everyone would love to hear to you play. And sing.’

‘I’m fine right here,’ Gio repeated.

The singer refused to let it drop, and Gio’s face darkened. Considering the conversation they’d just had, for a moment, Fran thought that he was going to walk out.