Sandra Panting - About Last Summer

Oh, yeah. She definitely needed to object.

“You probably shouldn’t be looking at me like that,” she somehow managed despite the thudding in her chest. A middle-aged couple dressed in jeans nearly collided with them, but Natalie was too caught up in Chase’s gaze to pay much attention.

“Why? Does it bother you?” he asked, his expression not changing.

The difference in their height was noticeable now that he held her so close, despite Natalie’s three-inch heels, and looking up at him she felt at a bit of a disadvantage, but regardless she still intended to say what she needed to.

“No,” she answered honestly. “That’s why you shouldn’t be doing it.”

Needing space, she attempted to put some distance between them, but his arms remained around her.

“Drake’s watching.” A slight smile curved his mouth.

The roguish glint in his eyes should have made her mad. She wanted to get mad, but she couldn’t. He was just too damned sexy, and she’d always been a sucker for a guy who was slightly incorrigible. So she satisfied herself with, “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” She even managed to add a touch of accusation to her tone.

“Maybe just a little.” His grin widened.

The problem was so was she. Seeing little point in offering further objection, she gave in and relaxed against him, her head resting against his shoulder.

What the hell, she thought, surrendering to his enticing embrace. She might as well enjoy his touch while she could. Besides, they were on a public dance floor, how carried away could they get?

*****

“Have you told Natalie why you’ve decided to come back home?” Drake asked, signaling to the bartender for another beer. He already had several but Chase knew Drake would take a cab home.

The indirect lighting helped disguise the fact that Drake was pushing sixty, and despite the lines around his eyes and a dusting of gray hair, he remained an attractive man. More than one woman tonight had given Drake the eye, not that Drake paid any attention. He’d been loyally married for nearly thirty years. Chase often wondered if he would ever share that kind of committed relationship with anyone.

Drake’s subtle question settled in Chase’s gut like a rock. “Uh, no. Not yet.”

“You mean she hasn’t questioned why you’ve taken so much time off?”

Chase glanced over his shoulder. Natalie had retreated to a quiet corner with her cell phone, but having no idea how long the call was going to take, he didn’t know when she’d be back. And this was not a conversation he wanted her to overhear.

“Natalie thinks I’m just spending time with my friend before he gets married.” Or at least that’s what Chase assumed she thought. He wasn’t exactly in the position to ask her.

“And what about you and her?”

Confused about the direction Drake was taking this conversation, Chase asked with a touch of caution, “What about us?”

“How long have you been dating?”

“I don’t know. A few months.” Knowing some men didn’t keep track of such things Chase didn’t feel his answer would tip Drake off. Besides Chase couldn’t remember what he’d told Drake before.

“Does she know about Denise?” Drake nodded in Natalie’s direction, her animated laughter evident from several yards away.

The rock in Chase’s gut turned to acid. The demise of his marriage was a sore subject, and he avoided discussing the topic as much as possible.

“Natalie knows I’m divorced,” he replied, knowing he hadn’t answered Drake’s question.

“But she doesn’t know why,” Drake guessed.

Seeing no way to sidestep that statement, Chase reluctantly admitted, “No, she doesn’t.”

He hadn’t told Natalie during his last visit because they didn’t have that kind of relationship. And now they didn’t even have a relationship, but even if they did, Chase doubted if he would tell her.

His feelings concerning his divorce were muddled up with his feelings for Natalie, and his feelings about where his life was going. Nothing in his life made sense any more, and given his confusion he doubted if he could explain these issues to anyone.

“Don’t you think you should tell her?”

Given the circumstances that question was beside the point, but realizing he couldn’t tell Drake that, Chase merely said, “I haven’t decided what I’m going to do.”

“You’re going to have to come to terms with it sooner or later, Chase.”

Chase had long ago reached that conclusion, but knowing Drake meant well, Chase lifted his beer. “Yeah, well, as soon as I figure out a way to do that, I’ll let you know.”

*****

During the ride home, neither of them said much, but the silence wasn’t awkward. Natalie gazed out the window while Chase pushed buttons on the radio. Unable to find a satisfactory music station he switched it off, but immediately wished he hadn’t.

Fiddling with the controls had given him something to focus on besides Natalie, and now he had nothing to occupy his mind but the tempting brunette seated next to him. He’d told himself a thousand times they couldn’t continue. Doing so would seem too much like a real relationship, and he just didn’t have room in his life for such things.

Besides he’d learned that most relationships just weren’t worth the aggravation they ultimately caused, so he often left before everything fell apart. Sure, he’d enjoyed being with Natalie during those few weeks, but if they started seeing each other on a regular basis their relationship wouldn’t be nearly as exciting.

Regular dating meant expectations. Expectations inevitably led to disappointment. Disappointment led to arguing. And then things often turned ugly.

No, they were better off this way. Much better. And as for his desire for her, well, he was only human. Besides, he’d rather think of her with a smile on his face than with an ache in his heart as he tried to figure out where everything had gone wrong.

Kind of like what happened with his ex-wife.

That gut-wrenching thought crept into his brain before he could stop it. His love for her had ended a long time ago, but the heartache had yet to wane. And one of the things that ripped at him the most was everyone assumed the demise of his marriage was inevitable because he was a Malone. Many of the rumors he’d heard about his father and brothers were true, but until his own divorce Chase had thought he was different. Clearly, he’d been wrong.

Finding Patrick’s house along winding River Shore Drive in the dark wasn’t easy, and Chase focused on locating the correct house for a few moments. But the process didn’t capture his attention for long. Now he had other concerns to face, such as how was he going to say good night to Natalie without them ending up in bed. The driveway stood empty which meant Patrick was still out with Erica. Chase had hoped Patrick would be home which would eliminate Chase’s need to test his self-restraint.

In his mind, he anticipated the evening ending like a typical date. First, they’d go inside all the while discussing the high points of the evening. Then there would be the inevitable offer of a drink as she kicked off her shoes. Then they’d chat as they sipped their drinks, and all the while he’d be wondering how much longer before he could kiss her. Or whose room they could go into so they could spend the rest of the night making love.

As much as he would enjoy letting that scenario play out, Chase knew better.

“How about a drink?” Natalie asked, kicking her heels off at the door.

Could he call them, or what?

“Sure,” he said, strolling into the living room, tugging at his tie.

Natalie headed into the kitchen, and he sank onto the couch, his tie dropping onto the coffee table.