Tara Quinn - Fortune's Christmas Baby

Maybe he should take a cab to the other side of the city and look at things he’d never seen before. Or, better yet, call home and get an update on all the drama he was missing. With six siblings, there always was some—a lot of times revolving around twenty-five-year-old Savannah. She was perhaps the smartest one of the bunch, but was way too beautiful for her own good, in Nolan’s opinion, and didn’t take kindly to being told no, which he knew well. Having been born just a year before her, Nolan was the one who’d taken flak the most often when his sister didn’t get her way.

“Please, Nolan, just go.”

Lizzie’s words, the honest pleading in them, brought him back fully to her doorstep. And the fact that he was still standing there.

“What did Carmela mean about you being messed up?” That’s why he couldn’t go. He was a gentleman and he had to know what was going on. To know his own culpability, or lack thereof, and take responsibility so that he could be completely free from what had turned out to be the most unfortunate incident in his life.

“I have no idea,” Lizzie said. “I was...hurt...when you left and I couldn’t get ahold of you. Maybe she wanted to give me a chance to chew you out. Maybe she thinks that would help. And, maybe for some, it would. I had no desire to hold on to any anger and I’m over it. Completely. As you can see, I’m fine.”

Yes, she’d already said that. And she was guarding her door like a member of the Secret Service. It occurred to him then that she might have someone inside. A man would be the most obvious guess.

He turned to go. “Well, let her know I stopped by, will you? So she doesn’t show up at the club again tonight ready to smash my grill.”

She nodded. He took another step toward the parking lot and his escape. “You look good.”

“I look like crap,” she said. “I’m cleaning...” Her voice broke off, and she glanced away, almost as though she was also remembering the time he’d helped her clean the bathroom. That had been a Saturday morning, as well.

“So...Carmela said you graduated and got a job.”

She nodded, and named the school district.

She had to really be all right, then, looking as great as she did and working for the city’s public school system.

“Please, Nolan, I mean it. We had a great holiday. I really want to leave it at that. I’m asking you to leave now. And I’ll talk to Carmela.”

She looked so good.

“We could go for coffee. Just to catch up.” What was he doing?

When she shook her head, he told himself he was relieved.

“Maybe later in the week, then. Come by the club, and we can set something up...just to talk...”

“Maybe. I need to get back inside.” She took a small step back.

He had no more reason to stay then. Not a legitimate one. Wanting to give her a hug definitely wasn’t one. Nor was he ready to just say goodbye. He was in town for a bit longer. They had a little time. With a last long look, he kept his hands in his pockets and headed back the way he’d come, wondering how long he’d wait for her to show up at the club before he’d break down and visit her again.

Chapter Four

After she slid back into her apartment, Lizzie bolted the door as though she could keep outside all of the feelings that seeing Nolan had brought back. Keep them in a pool out there. One she could avoid stepping into as she came and went from her home.

And after double-checking that the door was locked, she took her scouring pad back into her en-suite bathroom and sat on the side of the tub.

Just sat.

He’d looked so incredibly good. So good. So incredibly, bone-weakening, blood-heating good. If she was still alone and single, without responsibility, would she have asked him in?

Would she have regretted doing so?

What if he’d come when Stella had been home?

Oh. That was why Carmela had asked to take the baby on her errands that morning. Because it was something she did often enough that Lizzie wouldn’t be curious. And it would also give Lizzie time alone with Nolan.

Her best friend and roommate hadn’t told him about Stella.

She’d wanted Lizzie to do that. Had orchestrated the moment.

She’d overstepped. Lizzie was going to tell her so the second she got home.

In the meantime she recalled the warmth in that man’s eyes. For a second there, it had been like the year before, like she could see clear to his soul. She’d never met a man who she felt such an instant connection to. Like she could trust him forever.

Ha.

The man who’d given her a bogus number. And obviously a fake name, too.

If she really wanted to know who he was she could go to the club. Get the skinny from any of his bandmates.

If she were really ballsy she could ask Nolan to see his driver’s license.

Truth was, she no longer wanted the truth.

She wanted him gone.

He made it around the block. Twice. Two blocks over. Stopping for coffee Nolan sat himself down and looked around the shop at all of the people—mostly students and some professors who must live in the area, he presumed. A guy with glasses and longish, unkempt hair sat in a hoodie, hunched over a laptop that was plugged into the wall behind him.

A couple of girls leaned into each other across a table as they talked, one of them referring repeatedly to something on her phone.

He tried to imagine what it might be they were so engrossed in. A picture of a guy. A boyfriend. Maybe she’d caught him with another girl. Maybe they were looking at clothes. On their way to go shopping. Buying for themselves rather than picking up gifts for others.

Maybe he had to quit watching everyone else live their lives and live his own. He had to get back over to Lizzie’s and tell her the truth about himself. He’d known, deep down, the second he’d seen her that he owed her that much.

Because of what they’d been to each other for the short holiday time.

He sat upright and noticed the clock up on the wall. He still had fifteen minutes, at the very least, before the hour was up that Carmela had assured him Lizzie would be home.

Alone. She’d said Lizzie would be home alone.

Which meant she hadn’t had a guy in there, right?

He had to complete the unfinished business between them.

That was the answer.

His subterfuge, his lack of honesty, the way he’d changed his number—none of that was like him. It wasn’t as decent as he needed to be.

That was the problem. Yeah, everything seemed to be coming clear now. Making total sense. It wasn’t Lizzie compelling him; it was his own need to like himself. To be the man he thought himself to be. To live up to his own standards.

He’d never be fully free of her until he came clean. I was...hurt...when you left and I couldn’t get ahold of you...

He felt again the stab her words had brought. Though he’d never meant to, he’d hurt her.

But that was in the past, he told himself.

But the truth wasn’t. The truth was here and now. His to give.

He had to give her that.

Standing, feeling taller than he had in the past year, Nolan tossed his half-full cup into the trash and headed out the door.

She’d known he’d be back.

After all, she and Nolan had unfinished business. Like the baby he knew nothing about.

Leaving her unused scouring pad in the bathroom when she heard the bell, she went to the door, texting her roommate on the way.

He’s here. Don’t come back until I text the okay.

The rest, the part about her being unhappy with her friend’s manipulation, however well-meaning, would be handled in person.

As before, she met him on the stoop outside her front door. She had some idea that they could walk down the short hill to the parking lot below. Anywhere but inside her apartment.