Helen Cox - Sunrise in New York

Like Ryan and Esther, Jack also had a British accent. I’m not sure I’d ever been in the same room as this many people from merry old England before, but their accents were so cute, I could listen to them all day.

‘You’re pushing forty,’ Esther said to Jack. ‘I’m not sure the term “ boy friend” is all that appropriate. Are you?’

‘Life partner?’ Jack tried.

Esther’s face crinkled up in disgust.

‘Significant other? Sweetie pie?’

The rest of us laughed as Esther’s expression became more disgruntled with each suggestion.

‘Life partner? You’re getting far too ahead of yourself, Faber.’ Esther gave his nearest cheek a tap with the flat of her hand.

‘Oh, don’t mind me, I just own the place,’ a voice called down from the end of the counter, interrupting the fun. I swivelled on my stool to see a dumpy-looking fella in a pink polo shirt and a loose-fitting pair of jeans. Though he hadn’t yet greyed, judging by how little hair he had left I guessed the guy must be at least forty. He had a plate of mac and cheese in front of him and was about halfway through eating it.

‘That’s Bernie,’ said Esther. ‘You’ve caught him in one of his better moods.’

‘I just love your diner, Bernie,’ I called down the counter to him, hoping the compliment might raise a smile. He looked like he hadn’t smiled in a long time, and his face was fixed in a chronic state of disappointment. ‘Never seen another one quite like it.’

‘Oh.’ Bernie’s grimace loosened. ‘Well, nice of you to say so.’

‘Can I get you somethin’ to eat or drink, honey?’ Mona asked.

‘Yeah, I’ve been outside all day, busking. Could use a grilled cheese and a coffee.’

‘Sure thing, honey,’ she said grabbing a cup from next to the coffee machine and pouring out my drink. ‘You start warming up with that and your food’ll be out in a snap.’

Smiling at her, I poured some cream into my coffee and emptied a sugar packet into it too. When I looked up, Angela, Ryan, Jack and Esther were all staring at me, watching. Waiting. Esther was the first to speak.

‘So, what brings you to New York?’

OK. Straight down to business. I can do that. I’ve rehearsed my little speech. It’ll sound natural enough, it’s pretty much the truth. Like ninety-eight per cent of it, so I’m not telling any out-and-out lies.

I just need to breathe, and talk.

‘Thing is, something happened back in Atlantic City, and I’m in over my head. Way over my head.’ I looked towards the kitchen doors. Mona was still on the other side of them, which was perfect. She may not be in on anything, but her husband was a cop, so I couldn’t trust him or what she might accidentally relay to him through innocent pillow talk.

‘What happened?’ Esther asked.

Going into detail was too dangerous, but she wasn’t one to be shrugged off. I had to give her something.

‘It’s… it’s really difficult to talk about right now. But I had to get outta town pretty quick and I can’t go back to my parents. You know what they think of me and my career. So, I really need a place to stay for a few days and wondered if you’d mind me, maybe, crashing on your sofa? I know it’s a lot to ask…’

‘Yes, it is.’ There was a sting to Esther’s voice. Both Jack and Ryan noticed it and looked at her face for a clue but she was giving nothing away. I was grateful to her for not blurting out to the whole crowd exactly why I wasn’t in a position to ask her for a favour, but still felt the blush skulking its way up the back of my neck anyway.

‘It’s just until I can busk and get some money together and figure out how I’m gonna – I mean, what to do next.’ I tried to explain.

‘Why’d you leave the casino?’ asked Esther, as the other three watched on, quiet.

‘You know how you always said trouble had a tendency of finding me?’

Esther glanced down at the lino. ‘Yes.’

‘Well, some pretty big trouble found me this time. You’re really better off not knowing the whys and wherefores but I promise I won’t stay a second longer than I need to. It’s just so I can regroup, you know?’ I opened my eyes as wide as I could in the hopes of looking persuasive.

Esther pressed her lips together and gazed into my eyes.

God damn it.

So this was my comeuppance for what I’d done to her. If I’d been on the level the whole time we were in Atlantic City, she wouldn’t think twice about taking me in. But I hadn’t been. I’d broken her trust early on and though I’d tried really hard, I was never sure if I’d rebuilt it before she left for New York.

‘Esther?’ Jack nudged the side of her face with his nose and murmured, only just loud enough for me to hear, ‘You OK? It’s fine if your friend wants to stay at the flat. It may be technically mine but I think of it as ours, if that’s what you’re worried about.’

‘No,’ she said.

‘No?’ I repeated, my insides hollowing out.

‘Esther?’ said Jack. ‘What’s going on here?’

‘Nothing, I just…’ She looked at me out the corner of her eye. It was the same uncertain look she’d given me that rotten night back at the casino when she’d caught me red-handed. Going through her things. Without her permission. ‘I’m sorry, Bonnie, you can’t stay with us.’

‘Esther, please.’ I put a hand on her arm. ‘I’m begging you, I’ve got nowhere else to go, everyone else I know is in Atlantic City and I really just need somewhere to put my head down for a few days and figure out what I’m going to do. Some place safe. You think I’d ask you for a favour unless I was desperate? Haven’t you ever been desperate in your life?’

Esther took in a deep breath. Her eyes filled with tears and she closed them, battling with something in her mind. Probably the easiest way of telling me she couldn’t take me in, no matter how desperate I was. She opened her eyes again, she was about to speak, but a second later her stare moved past me. Her jaw dropped wide and her eyes narrowed. Jack looked in the same direction, and his expression also changed. His brow weighed heavy with a frown.

‘No way,’ said Angela, shaking her head.

‘What, what is it?’ I asked, turning. Jimmy stood just inside the doorway in his sheepskin jacket and a pair of jeans. His right cheek was still a little puffy from where I’d socked him a good one outside the subway station last night and his hair was damp from the snow that had been drifting down for the best part of the day. He unwound a scarf striped green and black from around his neck and began walking towards the counter. I could tell by the look on his face he’d noticed the others gawping at him but he fixed his eyes on me until he reached where I was sitting.

‘Now then, honey, here’s your grilled chee— Uh-oh.’ Mona had reappeared from the kitchen. The air in the room thinned out, making it hard to breathe all of a sudden. Jimmy Boyle wasn’t popular in these parts – I’d known that, but I hadn’t quite expected this reaction. I looked at him, wondering what he’d done to these people and why the hell he’d come back here when Mona had made it pretty clear just yesterday he wasn’t all that welcome.