Lorraine Wilson - Rebellion of a Chalet Girl:

And what would be the point?

But the knowing light in Holly's eyes when they talked was a comfort. Maybe it was an understanding that came from having her own crappy family history to deal with. Holly and Scott knew Tash had nowhere else to go, no family to go home to and they'd kept her on to help with the cycling and hiking tours in the summer, taking care of her work permit. Not that they'd really seemed to need the help initially, but apparently that was about to change.

Everything was.

She stared across at Holly's small bump. It was ridiculous really, almost like she was feeling the insecurities of a toddler jealous of a new sibling but…well it was kind of how she felt. A part of how she felt at least.

Though she'd sooner die than admit it.

Amelia said she’d overheard them talking about expanding and discussing moving out of Chalet Repos when the baby was born so their room could be used as another guest room and they could have more space elsewhere. More privacy.

Where does that leave me?

"I'll give you the condensed version." Holly absent-mindedly stroked her bump, patting the fabric of her lime green hoodie. The colour contrasted well with her auburn hair. "These clients will have exclusive access to Chalet Repos for the whole of March. Although they may fly back to London a couple of times during that period and they'll also need shuttling to and from Geneva for meetings. They want to know everything about how we operate, the experience days we offer, what we feed our guests…everything. If they like what they see…well, this could be big for us. Really huge."

Holly's imploring gaze rested on Tash.

Because if anyone stuffs it up for them it's going to be me? Thanks Holly.

Tash stared down at the tan and white cow skin rug at her feet. Okay, so there'd been a few incidents the first season she'd been with Scott and Holly. When balding men with large beer guts and even larger egos made lewd remarks or tried to grope her bum like she was part of the services Chalet Repos offered, well it flicked a switch in her and she lost it. But still, she'd got a lot better about controlling her temper and it was hurtful they thought she'd do anything to screw this up for them.

"Don't worry, I'm sure you can trust us all not to mess up," Tash replied, swallowing down the hurt and meeting Holly's gaze again.

"Great." Holly smiled but a small crease in her forehead betrayed her persistent concern. "So if anyone in the group, you know, tries it on, just politely decline and come and tell me. Then I'll get Scott to have a firm but discreet word. But really, I can't imagine we'll have any of those sorts of problems. We're talking about a group of business professionals after all, not a stag do."

Tash snorted, looking sideways at Amelia. "I didn't hear anyone complaining about the last stag do group we had staying here!"

Amelia flushed pink but smiled. "Okay, you may have a point. I'd say Amy seems pretty happy with Josh. Did you hear about that Rebecca?"

"The chalet girl who ran off with the bridegroom staying here at Chalet Repos?" Rebecca asked. "Yes, Tash told me. And she mentioned that your boyfriend Matt was part of the same group."

"Well, Josh was Amy's ex," Amelia said. "And as for Matt and I, well…I wasn't going to say anything until we'd chosen the ring but…we're getting married. This is going to be my last season as a seasonnaire."

Amelia's smile became a smug 'I've snagged my man' grin.

Oh fantastic. Another one.

Tash ignored the savage twist in her gut and forced a smile to her lips. "That's great Amelia, congratulations."

Holly, Lucy and Rebecca dutifully exclaimed, squealed and crowded round to hug Amelia. Tash tried to get her emotions under control, focusing on a snagged nail on her little finger.

Everyone else is moving on…

"Well Matt was fantastic when mum was sick last year." Amelia smiled contentedly. "And he persuaded me I couldn't be a seasonnaire forever. I mean, it's been fun but it's time to grow up, you know?"

"Right," Rebecca said, nodding seriously, as though Amelia were dispensing pearls of wisdom instead of a baseless platitude.

Tash stared out through the plate glass window. The falling snow swirled, buffeted by strong gusts of wind. She couldn't shake a sense of unease so visceral it twisted again at her gut, sending anxiety coursing through her veins.

Why does everything have to change? Everything was fine as it was.

Holly disentangled herself from the others and made her way over to Tash. She sank down on the sofa next to her.

"Actually Tash, there's something else I needed to tell you." Holly laid a hand on Tash's arm, her diamond engagement ring and platinum wedding band prominent on her wedding finger. "I thought you and Rebecca could accompany the group on a couple of their experience days and generally show them around Verbier? You know, take them to places like the W. Make sure they have a really good time. Impress the pants off them."

Tash raised an eyebrow. Holly giggled and Tash couldn't help laughing too, even though she really didn't feel like it.

Holly's eyes lost their anxious expression, her face transformed by a relaxed smile. "Bad choice of words. I'd do it myself but I get so tired in the evenings at the moment and some days the so-called morning sickness lasts all day. I don't think throwing up on my shoes and then going to bed at nine o'clock would impress them much. You don't mind, do you?"

Tash hesitated. If only Holly had picked Amelia or Lucy instead of Rebecca to go along with her. But this was how Holly worked. Subtle, thoughtful and always working to keep the peace.

Holly's picked Rebecca because she hopes it will mean the two of us will finally start to get along.

She met Holly's eyes and was surprised to see a genuine concern for Tash’s approval.

Doesn't she know by now I'd do pretty much anything for her?

After all Tash could count on one hand the number of people she truly trusted, and have fingers left over.

Scary thought that the two people I care most about in the world are moving on without me.

"Of course I don't mind, it'll be fun." Tash smiled. "Stop worrying, it'll all work out fine and I'll help out any way I can."

It was time to step up.

It scared her, becoming needed, relied upon. Needing…It was bloody terrifying.

Maybe she should've moved on years ago, before she'd had time to grow close to anyone. After all she'd been at Chalet Repos longer than she'd stayed in any one place before. The longest settled spell in her entire life in fact.

Stop it Tash, no looking back remember? Thinking about anything too much is dangerous.

Holly disappeared down the corridor to the office, to the desk that stood back to back with Scott's. What must it be like to find someone you loved so much you could actually live and work with them and not want to kill them?

Anxiety made Tash jittery and she tugged again at her snagged nail, breaking it off far too low but not caring that it hurt. The blurring of the line between emotional and physical pain was dangerous. Not that this really counted but she could imagine what the official line would be. That it was the thin edge of a very dangerous wedge.

She was done with that, with the old Tash.

But boy was it tempting sometimes.

I need caffeine. Caffeine and some ibuprofen.

Maybe it wasn't a good idea when she was anxious but she needed…something and really, how harmful could one cup of coffee be?

"So girls, what do we think?" Lucy's bird like eyes gleamed. She'd tucked her feet beneath her on the armchair so she looked tinier than ever, dwarfed by an oversized rusty-red cable knit jumper pulled down to her knees over her leggings.