Carolyne Aarsen - The Cowboy's Christmas Baby

One-time bronc rider, his thoughts taunted him.

“Isn’t there someone else who can do this work?”

Erin’s question caught Dean off guard, though he shouldn’t have been surprised. Clearly she didn’t think he could do the job, either.

“Dean’s capable,” Jan said. The faint narrowing of Jan’s eyes encouraged Dean though it would take a lot more than a bit of restrained anger on the part of his boss to balance out Erin’s lack of confidence.

“I wasn’t thinking of that,” Erin said, lifting one hand, clearly flustered. “It’s just... I thought...” She waved off her comments. “I’m sure Dean is more than able to do the work.”

“Good. I think so, too, otherwise I wouldn’t have put him on the job.”

“Look, if this is going to be a problem, let me work on that job in Mercy,” Dean said.

Jan slowly shook his head, gnawing at one corner of his mouth, a sure sign he had something he didn’t really want to say. “Sorry, I just hired on a new guy and he’s married and got a couple of kids. He needs the hours. Besides, this is close by and I won’t have to charge out traveling time for you.” Jan gave him a careful smile, as if hoping that would placate him. “And this way you can start whenever you want. Work your own hours.”

It all sounded so reasonable, but his boss’s comments still bothered him. And he was trying hard not to read subtext in his reasoning. Working his own hours meant flexibility for the rehab he was supposed to be doing and for the days he wasn’t well because the pain took over.

“Of course,” he said. “I get it.”

Then his eyes slid sideways to where Erin stood. She was looking at him and he didn’t imagine the pity on her face.

Anger surged through him. Anger with his circumstances and that Erin had to be a witness to this moment.

He wasn’t good enough. Simple as that. Just a washed-up bronc rider who couldn’t even get on a horse.

Erin hadn’t wanted anything to do with him all those years ago. He was convinced she certainly wouldn’t want anything to do with him now.

* * *

“Be it ever so humble.” Lauren turned off the vacuum cleaner and looked around the living room with a half smile. They had been busy in Erin’s new house most of yesterday and today, cleaning and moving furniture in.

“It looks homey,” Erin said, pushing a brown leather recliner into the corner beside the rust-colored couch Lauren had just finished cleaning. A wooden table replete with scuff marks and coffee rings sat in front if it. Mismatched end tables flanked the couch, each holding different lamps. A love seat in a pink plaid sat across from the couch. They had come out of a storage shed on Vic’s mom’s place. The rest came from the secondhand store in Saddlebank.

Two wooden chairs and three folding chairs were tucked under the oval wooden table in the dining room. A metal watering can holding daisies and lilies sat on the table. That particular touch of whimsy was courtesy of Jodie, who had shown up only briefly, full of apologies. She and Finn had a last-minute meeting with Abby Bannister to scout out some wedding photo locations.

It didn’t matter to Erin that Jodie couldn’t be here. She would see her again. That much she could count on now that she was back at the ranch.

“It’s perfect,” Erin said, folding her arms as she glanced around the room. Her home.

Her own.

And the best part was the cast-iron wood stove taking up the far corner of the living room. She already could imagine being curled up on the couch, reading a book, Caitlin in her arms, the lights low as a fire crackled in the stove.

“And you’re sure about this?” Lauren was asking as she plumped the pillows they had found at the bargain store in Mercy. “You’re sure about living here on your own?”

“Believe it or not, I am,” Erin said. “You have no idea what a treat it will be for me to have my own office.”

“Vic said the internet people might be coming tomorrow so it will be a day or two before you’re connected again.”

“That’s okay. I’ll need a couple of days to get myself organized.”

“Will you be able to keep busy? Out here?”

Erin chuckled at the skepticism in her sister’s voice. “I actually just got a call this morning from a previous client in Colorado. He wants me to do a series of static and interactive graphics for his website and some promotional material he will be putting out. It won’t be for a month or so but in the meantime I’ve got a few feelers out on some other work.”

Lauren shot her a puzzled look. “Still can’t believe all that coloring and sketching you used to do has translated into a job.”

“The degree in graphics design probably helped, too.”

“Of course.” Lauren gave her a smile, then dropped the pillows on the couch. “So this is the last of it. I’m really glad we managed to find a crib for Caitlin, as well. At least she won’t have to sleep in an apple box.”

“Or a bottom drawer of a dresser like Granny always said Mom did,” Erin said with a laugh.

Lauren released a gentle sigh, glancing down at the engagement ring on her finger then over at Erin. “I’ve been thinking about Mom lately, what with so many changes in our lives. Jodie getting married, me engaged. And now you with the first—” She stopped there as if not sure what to say.

“The first grandchild,” Erin finished for her. “I’ve been thinking about Mom, too. And Dad. I know I’ve said it already, but I’m sorry I missed the funeral.”

Lauren gave her sister a quick hug. “You had your reasons. Did you read Dad’s letter to you?”

“I haven’t had a chance. Caitlin was fussy most of last night.”

“You should have woken me or Jodie up,” Lauren chided, giving her shoulders a gentle shake. “Either of us would gladly have held her.”

Erin felt a surprising hitch to her heart. The six weeks she’d spent at the house with her roommates after Caitlin was born had been fraught with tension. Though her friends were helpful and for the most part considerate, she still overheard muted grumbling about short nights and interrupted sleep. She wasn’t accustomed to having help offered.

“Sorry. I didn’t think—”

“That Jodie or I would want to hold our own niece?” Lauren shook her head. “Honey, you’re with family. You’re allowed to have expectations.”

Which was probably part of her problem with Sam, Erin figured. She didn’t dare have expectations. Each time she brought up their future he would gently tell her she shouldn’t pressure him. They would talk later.

Then later came and here she was.

“Speaking of,” Lauren said, tilting her head, “I think I hear something.”

Erin heard a squawk from the room she’d claimed as her bedroom and was about to go get Caitlin when Lauren stopped her.

“I’ll do this. You just sit down.”

Then she hurried off.

But Erin wasn’t about to sit down. Not with the bags of stuff they had purchased sitting on counters. She was eager to put it away. To get her kitchen cleaned up and organized.

Just then Dean came into the house carrying a box holding her laptop and router and Erin was distracted by a more important task.

“Here. Let me,” she said.

“I got this.” He shot her an annoyed glance.

“I don’t mind helping,” she said, reaching out to take the box from him.

As she did her hands brushed his and they both pulled back at the same time. Which made the box tilt precariously.

Dean shifted and took a sudden step left. In the process he fell against the recliner, which teetered as Dean struggled to regain his footing.

Erin made another grab for the box, but Dean caught his balance, grimacing as he did.