Fiona Lowe - Australian Bachelors - Outback Heroes - Top-Notch Doc, Outback Bride / A Wedding in Warragurra / The Outback Doctor's Surprise Bride

He blew out a breath and slapped the plate back down on the trolley. ‘Don’t eat it, then, see if I give a damn.’

She got to her feet and tugged at his arm. ‘Matt, look at me,’ she said. ‘Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You can’t bring her back no matter how much you want to. It wasn’t your fault she died. You weren’t to blame.’

He brushed off her arm, his eyes blazing as they hit hers. ‘What would you know?’ he barked at her savagely. ‘What the hell would you know about how I feel?’

‘I know more than you realise,’ she said with quiet dignity. ‘I know that you feel somehow responsible for Madeleine’s death. I also know you are punishing yourself as if in some way that will make things right, but it won’t, Matt. You won’t make things right by doing wrong things.’

‘What wrong things am I doing?’ he asked, still glaring at her heatedly.

She came over to where he was standing, so close he had no where to go but back up against the wall. ‘You didn’t die in that accident with her, Matt,’ she said. ‘You’re still alive and entitled to live a fulfilling life. You have the right to enjoy what life has to offer, you don’t have to be a hermit out there in the bush. You can have a new love, maybe even a happy future, with marriage and babies.’

His lip curled in a sneer. ‘Is that why you came out here?’ he asked, ‘to find a husband and sperm donor?’

Kellie flinched away from his crude bitterness. ‘I came out here because I needed a change of scene. My family has become too dependent on me and my love life totally sucks, so all round it seemed like a good solution.’

He moved past her to lift the lid off the other plate. ‘I’m not interested in auditioning for the role of fill-in partner while you sort out your relationship and family issues. When I feel ready to look for another relationship I will do so in my own good time and not a minute before.’

‘Only because you’re afraid of being hurt again,’ she said. ‘It’s understandable. My father is the same but it doesn’t mean either of you don’t deserve to live life to its fullest potential. You are, what, thirty-three or -four? You have more than half your life ahead of you. What are you doing, locking yourself away from all that life has to offer?’

He picked up the napkin-wrapped cutlery and sat on the bed with his plate balanced on his lap. ‘I’m happy with my life the way it is. I work, I eat and I sleep.’

Kellie gave her eyes a roll of exasperation. ‘Yes, but you do it all alone.’

‘Only the sleeping part,’ he said, sticking his fork into a floret of broccoli and popping it into his mouth.

Her eyes widened. ‘You’ve been celibate for six years?’

Matt frowned at her. ‘What’s wrong with that?’ he asked. ‘Lots of people choose to be celibate.’

‘I know but don’t you think it’s time you lived a little?’

‘I told you, Kellie, I like my life the way it is for the moment,’ he said. ‘I’m sorry if Trish and the Montgomerys gave you the impression I was a likely candidate for a six-month fling but I prefer to choose my own partners, not have them thrust on me.’

Kellie glared at him. ‘You think I would agree to a matchmaking scheme like that?’ she asked. ‘Get real, Matt. I like to choose my own partners too, not that I’ve been particularly good at it or anything, but don’t for a moment think I would consider you as a potential lover, far from it.’

He pushed his half-eaten meal to one side and got to his feet. ‘I’m going out for some fresh air,’ he said, tossing his napkin down on the bed. ‘Don’t wait up.’

Kellie blew out a frustrated sigh and pushed her half-eaten meal away. OK, so maybe that had been a bit harsh, she thought. The truth was she had more than once considered Matt as a potential lover, but after Harley’s brazen two-timing Kellie was damned if she was going to play second fiddle to another woman again: dead or alive.

WHEN Matt came back to the suite at close to two a.m. Kellie was sound asleep, her small body curled up like a child’s, one of her hands underneath her cheek, the other hanging down over the side of the bed.

He stood looking at her in the lamplight, feeling guilty for drinking in the sight of her while she was totally unaware of his presence. It seemed voyeuristic, exploitative even, but he couldn’t seem to pull his gaze away.

She had obviously dispensed with the bathrobe for it was now hanging off the edge of the bed near her feet. Somehow the thought of her naked beneath that thin cotton sheet stirred his senses more than he would have thought possible. She had such a neat body, lean and athletic but unmistakably feminine.

He went rigid when she suddenly rolled over with a little murmur, the sheet slipping to reveal the creamy curve of one small but perfect breast. He knew he shouldn’t be staring—he was a doctor, for pity’s sake! He’d seen more breasts than he could count, and yet the sight of that creamy globe with its dusky brown nipple took his breath away.

Her soft mouth opened slightly on a sigh and she nestled back down into the pillow, but just when Matt thought it was safe to draw in a breath she suddenly opened her eyes. She sat bolt upright, her mad scramble for the sheet to cover herself affording him an even better view of her body than she had probably intended.

‘What the hell do you think you’re doing?’ she railed at him. ‘You scared me half to death!’

‘Sorry,’ he mumbled gruffly. ‘I didn’t mean to wake you. I was just …’

‘You were just what?’ She glared at him. ‘Having a little peek while you thought no one was looking?’

He raked a hand that wasn’t quite steady through his hair. ‘It wasn’t like that at all,’ he lied, a tide of colour heating the back of his neck. ‘I was trying to get to my bed without disturbing you in the process.’

‘How long have you been standing there?’

His eyes shifted away from her accusing narrowed ones. ‘Not long.’

‘How long?’

‘Can we, please, drop this?’ he asked. ‘Look, I have no designs on you so you can rest easy.’

She hugged her knees under the sheet, her expression looking a little downbeat. ‘So … what you’re saying is you don’t find me in the least bit attractive?’

Matt frowned at the edge of insecurity in her tone. ‘Of course I find you attractive,’ he said. ‘You’re very attractive—gorgeous, in fact. Why on earth would you think otherwise?’

She gave her bottom lip a bit of a nibble before she answered. ‘I don’t know … I guess I’m not all that confident on the dating scene. I think I spent too much time sweating over making dinner for my father and my brothers instead of getting hot and sweaty in a nightclub with the rest of my friends. I keep thinking there must be something wrong with me. My ex certainly made it clear I wasn’t enough to hold his interest.’

‘Yeah, well, if you ask me, your ex was a jerk,’ Matt said, pulling down the covers on the queen-sized bed in case he was tempted to cross the floor and pull her into his arms and show her how achingly beautiful she was.

A little silence passed.

‘If the tables had been turned, would you have expected Madeleine to put her life on hold indefinitely?’ Kellie asked.

‘Look, Kellie,’ he said injecting his tone with impatience at her persistence over his lack of a love life. ‘I’m not putting my life on hold. But even if I was, it’s not the same thing. It’s so much harder for women.’

‘How?’ Kellie asked. ‘Grief is grief. I don’t think either gender has an exclusive take on it.’

‘The issue of fertility puts a very definite take on it,’ he pointed out. ‘As a man, if I chose to I can have children at almost any age. Of course, in my twenties, thirties or forties would be ideal, but for women that isn’t the case. They have limited time in which to select a suitable partner to father their child or children.’