Fiona Lowe - Australian Bachelors - Outback Heroes - Top-Notch Doc, Outback Bride / A Wedding in Warragurra / The Outback Doctor's Surprise Bride

Her eyes went wide with surprise. ‘How on earth did you guess that?’

He gave his head another quick rub with the towel. ‘You’re a beach chick,’ he said. ‘You’ve probably grown up with fish bones between your teeth.’

She grinned at him. ‘I did, too,’ she said. ‘My brothers and I were taught to fish when we were still in nappies. I think I still hold the record for the most flathead caught in one outing.’

Matt marvelled yet again at how different their family backgrounds were. His father had taken him fishing once but it had been a disaster from start to finish. If the rain hadn’t been bad enough, the seasickness Matt had felt on the way home across the bay had made it a day to remember for all the wrong reasons. He could still recall his father’s scowling expression, as if Matt had been personally responsible for both the lack of fish and the inclement weather.

‘You sound like you had a very happy childhood,’ he said as he tossed his towel over the back of a chair.

‘I did,’ she said with another little smile. ‘I hope when I get married and have kids, I’ll be able to give them the sort of childhood I had.’

A stretching silence made the room seem ever smaller.

‘I’m sorry….’ Kellie said, biting her lip. ‘I guess that was a bit insensitive of me.’

He gave her an unreadable look. ‘No, not at all.’

Another beat or two of silence passed.

‘Tell me about her,’ Kellie said softly.

‘Tell you about who?’

‘Madeleine. Your fiancée. What was she like?’

Matt felt his chest start to tighten but after a moment’s hesitation he found himself telling her more than he had told anyone. ‘She was beautiful, a bit on the shy side but when she got to know you she would come out of her shell a bit more. She was an only child like me so we had a lot in common right from the start. We both found it hard to make friends easily. It took us time to learn to trust people.’

He took in a breath and continued, ‘She loved music, not that techno modern stuff but mostly classical. She played the piano and the flute like a pro but she couldn’t cook for peanuts.’ He gave a ghost of a smile that barely touched his mouth and went on, ‘I think it was because her mother and father did everything for her. Being their only child, it was understandable she was treated like a princess.’

‘Her parents must miss her dreadfully,’ Kellie said into the small silence.

His eyes met hers. ‘Yes …’ He released a long, rough-around-the-edges sigh. ‘She was their life, their entire focus for living. They’re like empty shells now.’

Kellie moistened her dry lips. ‘It’s nice that you keep in contact with them,’ she said. ‘Not many men in your situation would think to do that.’

He gave a rueful twist of his mouth but it wasn’t anywhere near a smile. ‘I’m not sure if it helps or hinders them, to tell you the truth,’ he confessed. ‘If I don’t call them regularly I feel guilty, but when I do call it sort of stirs it all up again for them, you know?’

She nodded. ‘I do know …’

He ran a hand through his still damp hair and sighed again. ‘It’s been six years and yet it sometimes feels as if it was yesterday.’

‘What happened?’ Kellie asked.

He sat on the end of the queen-sized bed, his legs so close that Kellie knew if she uncurled hers from beneath her they would touch his, knee to knee.

She watched the pain of remembering moving like a shadow over his face. It thinned his mouth, it tightened his jaw and it left his dark blue gaze achingly empty as it connected with hers.

‘We had an argument the night before,’ he said, a frown bringing his brows almost together over his eyes. ‘I don’t even remember what it was about now, something silly to do with the wedding seating arrangements, I think. She left in a huff and I was my usual pigheaded self, brooding over it for hours without doing anything to sort things out.’

Kellie sat in silence, somehow sensing he was letting his guard down in a way he had never done before. It made her feel an intimate connection with him, unlike anything she had felt with anyone else in the past.

His mouth contorted again as he continued, ‘She was spending the week with her parents so I didn’t bother ringing her the next morning. I planned to go round that evening with flowers and an apology but, of course, I was too late. A car ran a red light and ploughed straight into her on her way to school that morning. She died a few minutes later at the scene.’

‘I’m so sorry,’ Kellie said in a voice whisper soft.

He brought his gaze back to hers, the bleakness of it making her ache for him. ‘I often lie awake at night and wonder what she was thinking in those final moments as her life ebbed away,’ he said. ‘I wonder if she was thinking about me, our wedding and all the plans we’d made.’

Kellie brushed at her eyes. ‘It must have been an absolute nightmare for you. I don’t know how you coped.’

He gave her a crooked smile but it was grim, not humorous. ‘It felt like a nightmare at the time,’ he said. ‘I kept thinking surely someone’s going to tap me on the shoulder and say “April Fool” or something, but each day was the same as the one before. The grief was like a thick fog, I couldn’t see through it and no one could get to me through its black heavy shroud. I even thought about … you know … ending it all.’

‘What stopped you?’

His gaze meshed with hers. ‘See these?’ he asked, holding out his hands palms upwards.

Kellie nodded.

He looked down at his outstretched hands. ‘These hands have been trained to save lives. I gave up years of my life to train to be a doctor. I had to work harder than most as I didn’t have the support of my parents, who were too busy feuding with each other to take much notice of me. I thought it would be selfish of me to end it all when I could put my life to much better use.’

‘So you came out to the bush.’

His eyes came back to hers. ‘Yes. Out here I can make a difference. My life counts for something, even though it is not the life I had originally planned for myself.’

Kellie leaned forward and took his hands in hers and gently squeezed. ‘You are an absolutely amazing doctor, Matt,’ she said. ‘You saved Brayden Harrison’s life today.’

‘He’s not out of the woods yet,’ he reminded her, but Kellie couldn’t help noticing he didn’t pull out of her tender hold.

‘Perhaps not,’ she said. ‘But he’s in with a chance, a chance he wouldn’t have had if you hadn’t been there to do what needed to be done.’

His fingers curled around hers, his slightly rough touch against her smooth one sending her pulse skyrocketing. She ran her tongue over her lips again, mesmerised by the dark intensity of his gaze as it held hers.

The doorbell of the suite sounded, announcing the arrival of their meals, and broke the moment. Matt dropped her hands as if they were hot coals and strode over to the answer the door.

The trolley was wheeled in and Matt gave the young attendant a tip on his way out before coming back to where Kellie was still curled up on the makeshift bed.

‘We should eat this before it gets cold,’ he said, without meeting her gaze.

Kellie knew he was regretting his earlier outburst of guilt and grief. She had experienced it so many times with her brothers, the way they let their guard down and then pulled away from her as if they were worried she would exploit their brief vulnerability. ‘Matt?’ she said softly.

He took the lid off one of the plates. ‘This is your fish,’ he said, and handed it to her with a closed-off expression.

‘Don’t shut me out,’ she said, ignoring the outstretched plate. ‘Come on, Matt, you just let me into your deepest pain and now you’re shoving me away.’