ML Roberts - The Wife – Part Four - Till Death Do Us Part

‘Ellie, my darling, how are you?’

He waits for me to sit down before he takes his seat. A gentleman to the end. ‘I’m fine.’

I’m not. I’m so far from fine.

He looks at me, sits back down in his chair, crosses his legs and clasps his hands together in his lap. He knows something’s wrong. It’s obvious something’s wrong, otherwise why would I insist that he keeps this meeting secret from Michael?

‘Why did you want to speak to me?’ he asks. ‘Don’t get me wrong, it’s always a pleasure to spend time with you, it’s just a little unusual for you to request something so … clandestine?’

I pause, and for a second I wonder if I’ve done the right thing, coming here. I’m still not sure who I can trust, but that brief moment of clarity soon disappears. I’ve been left with so few choices now. This is what I’ve been driven to. ‘You … you know that Michael and I – we’ve been through a lot. Things have been tough – really tough, and I don’t know how much Michael’s told you…’

‘He hasn’t spoken to me in any great detail about anything personal, Ellie.’

I briefly look down, aware that I’m fiddling with my wedding ring, twisting it round and round my finger. And then I raise my gaze, look Ernie in the eye.

‘Have you noticed anything … odd about Michael’s behaviour over the past few months?’

He frowns slightly. ‘Odd? No, not really, but to be honest, Ellie, I’m not around as much as I used to be. I don’t see Michael all that often … is something wrong?’

I shake my head, even though it’s obvious I’m lying. I just don’t want to tell him too much. But there are things I need to know, so I’m pushing this.

‘That student – the one who invaded our home, the one who…’ I look down again, closing my eyes for a second or two while I try to compose myself. And then I feel his hand on my shoulder, squeezing it gently, his voice quiet as he leans in to me.

‘I’ll go and get us some drinks. The usual?’

His tone is kind and I nod without looking up. I’m scared that if I look at him right now I might cry. There’ve been times over the years when Ernie has felt more like a father to me than my own ever was. He’s always cared, even from a distance. That’s why I’m here now, because he cares about me and Michael, and whatever I need to know, he’ll tell me if he can. I’m sure of that.

My phone ringing out distracts me and I reach for it on the table, turning the volume down as I glance at the screen. It’s Liam. It’s nearly always Liam. I answer it, sitting back in my chair as I look around the pub. It’s fairly busy for a weekday afternoon, and I wonder if Michael brings her to places like this. Out of the way places. Secluded, secret places where he has little chance of his infidelity being discovered. The kind of places I come to with Liam, but that’s different. Our situation is different. I need Liam. He doesn’t need Ava.

‘You’re not at work, Ellie. Where are you?’

Sometimes he treats me like a child. He has no right to know my every move.

And I have every right to know my husband’s?

‘I’m in a meeting, Liam.’

That’s not entirely a lie. This is a meeting, of sorts.

‘Come to mine tonight. Please. I don’t like the idea of you being in that house alone.’

‘Then you come to me.’

Strange though it may seem, whilst I once hated being alone there, I don’t want to leave my home, even though it doesn’t feel much like one right now. There are times when it feels more like a prison. But I don’t want to walk away, I’m not giving up. It’s going to feel like a home again, one day. When Michael’s back and all that’s broken is fixed.

‘Is that what you want?’

‘Yes.’

‘Okay … are you all right?’

‘You keep asking me that, Liam.’

‘Because I care about you. I love you…’

‘Stop saying that. Please.’

I glance over at the bar. Ernie’s coming back with our drinks.

‘I have to go. I’ll call you later.’

I hang up and toss my phone into my bag.

‘Here we go. Gin and tonic, ice and lemon. Just how you like it.’

‘Thank you.’ I smile and take a sip of the gin, enjoying the feeling of the cold liquid hitting my throat.

‘Is there something you need to talk about, Ellie?’

I look up, his eyes meeting mine, and I’m back in control now. I’m good. ‘Before it happened – that night … Ernie, you know the kind of man Michael is.’

He raises an eyebrow, steeples his fingers together under his chin. ‘The kind of man…?’

‘Tactile. Flirtatious. Charming.’

‘There’s nothing wrong in being that kind of man, Ellie.’

‘There is if that kind of man takes advantage of his position.’

He frowns again, his eyes still fixed on mine, but he remains silent. He waits for me to expand on that.

‘Has he ever – have you ever seen him act in an inappropriate way with any of his students?’

Ernie leans forward and drops his hands, his eyes staring deep into mine. ‘What are you trying to say, Ellie?’

‘You know why she did what she did. Why she came to our home, why she attacked me, you know why she did that. She did it because she had some ridiculous notion that Michael had promised her some warped kind of happy-ever-after, and I just need to know…’ I take a second to breathe. ‘I need to know if it really was a ridiculous notion.’ I raise my head, and look back at Ernie. ‘I need to know if his behaviour is something I should’ve been worried about a lot sooner.’

Ernie’s frown deepens. ‘You think Michael may have had inappropriate relationships with students?’

‘The way he is – the way he behaves…’

‘He’s an excellent lecturer, Ellie. The kind of person who draws people in, holds their attention. It’s a very special quality, not one many possess. And it isn’t unusual for students to sometimes develop crushes on their professors…’

‘What she felt was more than a crush, Ernie.’

He throws me an apologetic look. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that to sound as flippant as it may have come across.’

I sit back, and try to ignore the anger that’s starting to kick up inside of me. All around me life continues, and I’m envious of all those people who don’t have a darkness surrounding them. They’re lucky.

‘There’s another student … Ava. I can’t remember her surname … I think he might be…’ I can’t bring myself to say it. I’ve already said too much. ‘I think he might be sleeping with her.’

I turn back to face Ernie. His expression is one of confusion, surprise; concern. For what I’ve just told him? Or for me? Has Michael told him how unstable he thinks I’ve become? No. Ernie said he hasn’t spoken to him in any detail about anything personal, but then, I’m surrounded by liars, aren’t I? Ernie could be lying too. I really don’t know who I can trust anymore.

‘What makes you think something’s going on between Michael and this student?’

I drop my gaze, look back down at that gold band on my finger. ‘I’ve seen them together. Outside of the university…’ I stop talking. I can’t let him know I’ve had Michael followed. I can’t let him know I listened in to his calls, read his texts. If I tell him that then he’s just going to think that I’m crazy. Unhinged. Paranoid. Everything my husband thinks I am, but I’m none of those things. He’s just driven me to this with his lack of concern. Lack of comfort.

‘Have you seen anything that makes you think he’s sleeping with her?’ Ernie asks, and the tone of his voice now is akin to that of someone speaking to a child. It irritates me, makes my skin prickle. I can feel that anger edging back now.