Kierney Scott - Twice In A Lifetime

“Christ, Sarah.” He ran a hand through his hair and swore. He was silent for a long time, just scrutinising her, and then he asked, “Are you screwing him?”

Her jaw dropped. She was sideswiped by the question. Why would he ask that? It took her a moment for her brain to engage again.

“Are you?” he demanded. His accent had slipped, gone broader.

“Careful—your Scottish is showing.”

“No, if I wanted to sound Scottish I would have said, ‘Right, hen, dinnae tell me you shagged him.’”

It did not escape him that Sarah had effectively avoided the question, but he wasn’t going to ask again. It was none of his business; she had made her choice years ago.

The years had been kind to her. She looked the same, except for the dark circles under her pale green eyes. He hated to admit it, but she was still beautiful. Her honey-coloured hair was pulled back in the same hairstyle she always wore. He used to love it when she would take it down and let it flow in waves down her back, but she rarely did. Even then, Sarah was all business, sorting out the world.

“The answer is no. I am not sleeping with Sam,” she said.

He exhaled; muscles he didn’t know were tensed, relaxed. It didn’t matter to him, he reminded himself. “Glad to see your taste in men has improved,” he said casually.

“It could only get better.”

“True,” he said, knowing she meant anyone was a step up from him. He felt a smile tug at him despite himself. He missed the banter he had had with Sarah. She was never shy about cutting him down to size. It had been years since anyone had openly insulted him; everyone was too busy kissing his ass.

They had been good together, but she had thrown it all away. She should have made it out too. Suddenly a bolt of anger tore through him. It was near enough the same scenario as a decade earlier and Sarah was choosing Sam again. She would never change. But he had—he expected it from her now.

“Very clever not telling me it was Sam I was agreeing to help. Just this side of a lie though, wouldn’t you say?”

“I told you everything you needed to know. I knew you would never agree to help Sam.”

“How do you know? I have never needed to. You have always been there picking up the pieces, enabling him to piss his life away.”

Her eyes narrowed. Colour rose in her cheeks, two red flags painted high on each side of her face. “How dare you say I enabled him? I have spent my career helping people. The only thing I am enabling them to do is live better lives.”

“Your help seems to have done wonders for Sam. I hope you have not have been as helpful to all your clients. But I suppose that is another way to deal with the problem—just coddle them until things spiral out of control.”

“You still don’t get it, do you?” she said sadly. She looked at him with a combination of confusion and pity.

“I will tell you what I get. Life is about making choices and following through.” Christ, why did she look at him like that? He ran one of the most profitable hedge funds in the world; hundreds of people were dependent on him for their livelihood. By anyone’s definition he was a success but she still looked at him as if he were the chavy kid who needed pity.

“Trust me, I know about choices. You made yours and it seems to be paying dividends. Congratulations, Liam. You have everything you ever wanted.”

“Not everything.” He had once been stupid enough to want her more than anything. But that was a long time ago. He had wised up; now the only thing he wanted was to show Sarah how foolish she had been.

“Near enough, then. Keep working at it. I am sure you’ll get there in the end. You always do.”

“Sometimes you realise what you wanted was nothing more than a juvenile mistake.”

She winced. “True.” She stood and picked up her hand luggage again and then turned to face him. She reached her hand out to him to shake. “I am glad to see you, you know. I have wondered about you. I never really got…closure, I guess you could say. But now I know things worked out the way they were supposed to. Thanks for helping. I know you are really busy. I don’t want to take up any more of your time. I will email you and you can keep me up to date on progress with Sam’s case. That is probably the best.”

He stared at her hand in astonishment. That was it. She walked into his life, sirens blazing, and then she expected to walk away again, no questions asked.

No, that was not the way it was going to play out this time.

The annoyance mounted in him. What did she think she was playing at?

She was going to see all the things she missed out on by choosing Sam. “You’re not going anywhere.”

Her head snapped up to meet his gaze. “I have a return flight booked. I need to get to the airport.”

“Cancel it.”

“I can’t cancel it. I can’t afford to change my flight. I can’t even afford this flight.”

“Lucky I have a private jet.”

“Congratulations. I have a mortgage I can’t afford and a cat that won’t stop peeing on my carpet. I guess you win,” she shouted over her shoulder as she made her way for the door.

“If you leave now, I won’t help Sam.” It was blackmail and he was not above it.

She dropped her case and spun around on her heel. “You said you would. You are many things, but you have never been a liar.”

“It has been a long time—you have no idea what I am capable of. You didn’t expect to come in, demand I help your tearaway friend, and then leave again. Oh, I can see by your face you did. That’s not the way things work here in the real world. If you want me to help him, you will stay until it’s done.”

“I can’t afford to take any more time off work. I have service users—”

“Make time. Life is about choices, Sarah. Stay and I help Sam or go and see what justice the Emiratis have in store for him.”

She looked him square in the eyes; defiance flashed in their aquamarine depths. “Why? Why do you want me to stay?”

Liam let out a breath. Sarah was here. After a decade of wondering where she was and what she was doing, she was here with him. And he wasn’t ready to let her go again, not yet. Ten years had passed but the emotion was still there, as raw and palpable as ever, all the hurt, all the anger, all the betrayal. And all the passion. He just needed a few days with her, maybe a week. She wasn’t the only one who needed closure.

Christ, why did he want her to stay? Because he wanted her to see what life could have been, because he wanted to punish her, because the idea of helping Sam made his skin crawl, or maybe because, even though he could never have her, he never stopped wanting her?

No, it was because this time when she left, he wanted to be able to close the door for good. He wasn’t going to waste any more of his life chasing ghosts. “Because nothing in life is free.”

“I can’t stay.”

“I already told you, I would let you use my company’s jet.”

“It’s not that.”

“What is it, then? Is there someone waiting for you in Edinburgh? Do you have a boyfriend?”

She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “No, I don’t have a boyfriend. I have real responsibilities. I think you can understand that.” She gestured to the large office space that lay just outside his door. “I have people that need me. I have my work. I have Dave. I have—”

“You just said you didn’t have a boyfriend.”

“Dave’s my cat,” she said.

“Of course he is. Christ, Sarah, you sound like a spinster. You can’t go away for a week because you have a cat. Can you hear yourself?”

“Yes, I can hear myself. Can you hear yourself? You don’t even sound Scottish any more.”