Christie Barlow - Love Heart Lane

‘How are you feeling?’

‘A little apprehensive. I know it sounds daft but maybe a little scared of seeing Allie again … I caught up with Isla this afternoon, she was lovely to me. It was like I’d never been away. But I’m not sure how Allie is going to react. She took it badly when I left … and she’s not as forgiving as Isla.’

‘And there’s Aggie too.’ Rona cocked an eyebrow.

Every time Felicity had come back to the village for a brief visit she’d tried not to think about bumping into Aggie but she knew it was going to happen sooner rather than later and it was something she wasn’t looking forward to.

Aggie Campbell was Fergus’s mother, and he lived with her in Fox Hollow Cottage, just at the bottom of Love Heart Lane. Aggie was without a doubt a kind woman, but she had strong opinions, especially when it came to her only son whom she doted on.

‘I know.’

‘And it’s more than likely Fergus will be there. If he’s okay after today.’

Every time Felicity thought of Fergus she felt a tremor of emotion that she couldn’t quite place. She closed her eyes for a split second, the image of him and his soft smile firmly on her mind. If she closed her eyes tight enough she could still feel his strong arms around her and his woody, manly smell as she snuggled into his chest all those years ago. There was a time she’d thought Fergus would always be by her side, every step of the way, growing old together – but she’d messed that up. She gave herself a little shake. All that was in the past. She needed to accept that.

‘It will be okay, you know. I’m sure there will be a time when you can be civil together.’

Felicity really hoped so. She’d never admitted it to anyone before but there were times when she suffered bouts of depression, wondering what her life would have been like if she’d stayed in Heartcross. Would she and Fergus still be together? Would they have gotten over the heartache? Would she have been enough for him? She would never know the answers to those questions. In fact, she’d cried a lot in London, pretending to be perfectly happy, creating a new existence that was basically a pretence.

Of course there had been good times but once the initial excitement and adventure had worn off she’d wanted to go back home on numerous occasions. However, her pride had always stopped her. She’d suffered for her actions and seeing the look Fergus had given her today, it was clear he’d suffered too. She knew him from old and he was still hurting. Over time, Felicity had learnt to block out her deep sadness, but seeing Fergus again, she knew the feelings she’d once had for him were still very much there.

After stamping her snowy boots on the mat outside, Felicity’s nervousness peaked the second she walked through the door of The Grouse and Haggis, the pub owned by Meredith and Fraser, Allie’s parents. This was the first time she’d stepped inside the pub for a very long time but it was exactly how she remembered it. The oak beams ran right across the low ceiling, the private alcoves were still plumped with bright-coloured cushions and the log fire roared.

Huge aluminium pots of chilli and baskets of crusty bread lay on a long trestle table stretched out at the side of the bar ready to feed the hungry villagers.

‘How’re you feeling?’ Rona whispered under her breath.

‘Nervous,’ mumbled Felicity locking eyes with Meredith who was serving Heather the postmistress with a drink.

Immediately, Meredith hitched a smile on her face and scuttled around the bar with her arms flung open wide, hugging Felicity like she was a long lost relative. ‘Felicity … Felicity, my dear girl, it’s great to have you home. It’s been too long.’ If anyone hadn’t spotted Felicity walking into the pub, they certainly knew of her arrival now – she felt like the whole pub was looking her way. Felicity was very fond of Meredith and Fraser; in fact, they used to call her their second daughter. As children, Felicity and Allie had been inseparable and even through their teenage years they had been as thick as thieves.

Felicity pulled gently away from Meredith’s hug to find Fraser now standing next to his wife. ‘Welcome home, Felicity, let me get you a drink. What would you like?’ he asked.

‘Thanks Fraser, a gin and tonic please, and for you, Mum?’ Felicity turned towards her mum.

Meredith touched Rona’s arm. ‘The usual?’ She smiled and Rona simply nodded.

‘Wait until Allie sees you, she’s just collecting the wood from the shed to keep these fires going. She’ll be back in in a minute.’

Felicity felt a little uneasy watching Meredith and Fraser disappear back behind the bar. Meredith seemed unaware of the possible friction between Allie and herself or maybe she’d just forgotten over time.

‘Why don’t you go out the back and catch up with her?’ Meredith suggested, passing the drinks over the bar.

Felicity hesitated and looked towards her mum. She’d no clue how Allie was going to react to her homecoming but she knew she was going to have to face her at some point. Maybe it would be better to slip out the back to see Allie for the first time without a group of lookers watching their every move. ‘Are you going to be okay?’ Felicity asked her mum.

‘Why wouldn’t I be okay? I’ve been drinking in this pub on my own for as long as I can remember,’ she said, with a small chuckle. ‘You go and see Allie, see how the land lies … try and put things right.’

Fraser nodded towards the oak door at the far end of the pub. ‘You know the way.’

Feeling apprehensive, Felicity clutched her drink and weaved her way through the villagers. The pub was full to the brim and despite the bad snowfall everyone seemed in good spirits. Felicity spotted Hamish from the village shop who tilted his flat cap and gave her a wave, and then she noticed Rory slipping in through the side door. As soon as he spotted her he stopped dead in his tracks. ‘Hey, Flick!’ He flashed her a grin. ‘You’re home! Welcome back.’

Rory hadn’t changed a bit. He was slim, clean shaven and his dark hair with a hint of auburn was still styled in the same way. His pale blue eyes glinted back at her.

‘I am indeed! How are you?’

‘Me … I’m good, same old, same old … working hard as usual. I’m sorry to hear about Bonnie.’ He quickly gave his condolences before carrying on, telling Felicity that all was good in the land of animals except for the snowy weather that was forecast for the next few days.

‘Have you seen Allie yet?’ he asked.

‘I’m just going through to the back now,’ Felicity answered, feeling her heart thump a little faster.

Rory must have noticed the uneasy look on Felicity’s face. ‘Don’t worry … we both know her bark’s worse than her bite. She’s actually missed you, you know.’

‘How would you know?’ Felicity narrowed her eyes at him.

‘Because we’ve talked about it … and she still talks about you a lot.’

‘We?’

Rory gave Felicity a grin.

‘You and Allie are together?’

He nodded. ‘Yes, just under twelve months now.’

Elated by the thought of them being together, Felicity couldn’t help but give Rory a quick hug. As teenagers, Felicity had teased Allie that they would make the perfect couple, but Rory had gone off to university while Allie had stayed in Heartcross working alongside her parents in the pub.

‘I always said you were made for each other.’ She grinned.

‘You did, that.’ Rory touched Felicity’s arm tentatively before spotting his parents at the bar.

Taking a deep breath, Felicity turned the wrought iron ring of the pub’s oak back door and stooped her head under the low frame, stepping down the stone steps into the pub’s living quarters. She could hear footsteps from the backyard and spotted Allie lugging wood in from the shed, placing the logs in large wicker baskets. The last time she’d seen Allie was the night she’d left Heartcross. Felicity truly regretted cutting out everyone from her life, but it had been the only way she could cope at the time. Standing there, she suddenly yearned for her old friendship. A friendship that had stood the test of time until she’d taken herself off to London.