Richard Webber - Only Fools and Horses

When the brothers struck gold, it looked like the lights would be switched off at Nelson Mandela House for good. No one intended making more episodes, but in the world of TV you never say never. One day, a throwaway comment from Gareth Gwenlan, hinting that perhaps a special episode would be made to celebrate the new millennium, started the ball rolling and, eventually, they were back.

Turning his attention to the scripts, Sullivan knew that keeping the Trotters as multi-millionaires wouldn’t have worked. If they were to stroll the streets of Peckham once again, he wanted to return them to where they started; the trouble was, he couldn’t do that in one episode. Eventually, another trilogy was commissioned.

John Sullivan decided the Trotters would lose their fortune, thanks to Del gambling away their millions on the Central American money market, and so five years after the final instalment in the Christmas Trilogy, the crowd were back.

The three episodes, ‘If They Could See Us Now …!’, ‘Strangers On The Shore’ and ‘Sleepless In Peckham’ – and this time they would be the last – were transmitted on Christmas Day 2001, 2002 and 2003. There were times when Sullivan regretted writing the new shows because the press reaction was disappointing, despite winning plaudits from the audiences. Later, though, John was able to appreciate the episodes which, again, proved that quality writing, casting and acting win every time.

The Trotter brothers have a meeting at midday and Rodney is far from ready. Del is horrified to discover the reason why.

DEL: ( Studying his reflection in the mirror ) S’il vous plait, s’il vous plait, what an enigma. I get better looking every day. I can’t wait for tomorrow. Oh, do you know, I’m suffering from something incurable. ( Grandad and Rodney ignore him ) Still, never mind, eh! Oi, come on Rodney, shake a leg, we’ve got a meeting at 12. What are you doing?

RODNEY: Our accounts.

DEL: You keeping accounts now? Well there you are, Grandad, a lot of people told me I was a right dipstick to make my brother a partner in the business, but this only goes to prove how bloody right they were. You dozy little twonk, Rodney, this is prima-facie evidence ain’t it? The taxman gets hold of that he’ll put us away for three years.

Raise your glasses to over two decades of sitcom success.

© Mirrorpix

Rodney thinks Del is cheating him … the trouble is, he can’t prove it.

RODNEY: It’s obvious you’re stitching me up. Look at you, you have three or four changes of clothes a day. Me – I’ve got one suit from the Almost New Shop. It gets embarrassing sometimes.

DEL: Oh, I embarrass you do I? You’ve got room to talk. You have been nothing but an embarrassment to me from the moment you was born. You couldn’t be like any other little brother could you, and come along a couple of years after me. Oh no, you had to wait 13 years. So while all the other Mods were having punch-ups down at Southend and going to Who concerts, I was at home baby-sitting! I could never get your oystermilk stains out of me Ben Shermans – I used to find rusks in me Hush Puppies.

Memories …

‘Nick and Lennard were great to work with. Although he was very young, Nick had spent his entire life, more or less, in the business because he’d been a child actor. Lennard Pearce, meanwhile, had been a stage actor for all his life. So we were dealing with actors who I had a healthy respect for because they had served their apprenticeship.

‘Both of them were tremendously easy to get on with, but I think a lot of that was because we’d all worked a lot of time in the theatre, travelling the country, working every night with a live audience, learning our trade. That is hugely beneficial when you work in television. So with John Sullivan’s scripts, and the experience of the cast, I knew we had the essential ingredients.’

DAVID JASON

Del and Rodney try chatting up girls at a nightclub. The trouble is, Del reverts to a pack of lies, suggesting his younger brother is an international tennis player, in order to impress but, as usual, just makes a fool of himself.

DEL: Yeah, he’s an international professional tennis player and I’m his manager. You must have heard of Rodney, yeah Rodney. The sporting press call him Hot Rod!

NICKY: Don’t think I have. What’s the surname?

‘WHAT A PLONKER!’ (DEL)

RODNEY: Trotter!

NICKY: Doesn’t ring a bell, sorry.

DEL: No, no that’s because we generally concentrate on the big American tournaments, you see.

MICHELE: Do you ever play Wimbledon?

DEL: No, no, we only play the big ’uns! We’ve just come back from the Miami Open …

NICKY: Really? You’re not very tanned for Miami, are you?

RODNEY: No, no, it was an indoor tournament.

Did you know?

Offers to turn Only Fools into a film and stage production have been made over the years.

DEL: Yeah, yeah, it’s amazing that, innit. I mean they call it the Miami Open and then they go an’ hold it indoors. That’s the Yanks for yer though eh? Anyway, we can’t complain like because he won it, he did, he er, beat that Jimmy Connolly in the final.

MICHELE: Jimmy Connelly? Don’t you mean Jimmy Connors?

DEL: No, he knocked that didlio out in the first round, nine sets to one! Actually we’re only in London to get Hot Rod here measured up for a new bat.

‘TRES BIEN ENSEMBLE.’ (DEL)

MICHELE: It’s a racquet!

DEL: It is, the price they charge, darling.

Memories …

‘When I began writing Only Fools I never had a system of working. I’ve had mobiles by the side of my bed, Dictaphones, but when the ideas happen, they just happen.

‘Initially, I wrote Fools straight on to an old-fashioned typewriter. Then, slowly, I turned to computers. But during the days of the typewriter, I’d sometimes work through the night re-typing.

‘I change my scripts and mess about with them so much before putting “first draft” on it. By then, I’ve actually changed it six or seven times. In these early stages, it’s like weaning a baby, but eventually I can get quite nasty with my script.

‘Once we’re in the editing suite, I don’t care about favourite lines. When I started, Dennis Main Wilson gave me the best advice: “Never fall in love with your lines.” He was right because that can cause you such pain.’

JOHN SULLIVAN

Street traders Del and Rodney are using their sales patter, trying desperately to shift packs of hankies from a suitcase, surrounded by a crowd of women shoppers.

DEL: Here we are, the finest French lace hankies – there you are, they’re a pleasure to have the flu with! Thanks, luv.

RODNEY: Now, hurry up girls, get in while the going’s good. It’s one for the price of two. One for the price of two.

DEL: Keep taking the money, Rodney, I’m gonna pop down the pub to get a lemonade for the old Hobsons.

RODNEY: Get us a packet of pork scratchings would you?

DEL: Pork scratchings. Sounds like a pig with fleas.

RODNEY: Come on then, get in while the going’s good. We’re not here today gone tomorrow, we’re here today gone this afternoon, now come on.

Rodney and Grandad aren’t happy when Del starts dating his scheming, money-grabbing ex-fiancée again, especially when they get engaged once more and she moves in.