Luciano Wernicke - Unforgettable Soccer

“My idea of paradise is a straight line to the goal.”

–Friedrich Nietzsche

“All that I know most surely about morality and obligations I owe to football.” –Albert Camus

The contents of this book were carefully researched. However, all information is supplied without liability. Neither the author nor the publisher will be liable for possible advantages or damages resulting from this book.

British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

Originally published as Historias insólitas del fútbol .

Unforgettable Soccer

Maidenhead: Meyer & Meyer Sport (UK) Ltd., 2019

All rights reserved, especially the right to copy and distribute, including translation rights. No part of this work may be produced–including by photocopy, microfilm or any other means–processed, stored electronically, copied or distributed in any form whatsoever without the written permission of the publisher.

© 2019 by Meyer & Meyer Sport (UK) Ltd.

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ISBN: 9781782558354

eISBN: 9781782554943

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Preface

The Wedding

Golden Goal

The Bag’s Goal

The Penalty Spot

The Urn

Three for the Price of One

Three Red Cards in Four Days

The Trick

A Strange Choice

The Match With No Opponent

Fell From the Sky

The Dog That Scored a Goal

Conflict

A Fierce Storm

Excessive Celebration

Accelerated Complaint

Sold Out

Advice

The Ambassador’s Assist

Forgetful Refs

The Undecided

Compensation

Improprieties

Audacious

Amnesties

Naked Accusation

Intimate Enemies

On the Other Hand

Red to Green

Without a Goalie

Kisses

Crazy Reactions

Red Card Substitutions

In Women’s Clothing

Inopportune

Live

Unexpected Scorers

The Disguise

Al Dente

Yellow, Red, and Black

It’s Time, Ref!

Three Matches in a Day

A Moment of Silence

Half-Thrashed

A Close 9-0

Funny

Taking It Sitting Down

A Field of Sand

Drowned Goals

Shame Away

Just Because You Thrash a Team Doesn’t Mean…

Party

A Lord of the Ring

A Seagull’s Assist!

What a Pair!

Nosy Flag

Beach Soccer

Long Distance

Apocryphal Results

An Unending Gale

Gone With the Water

Lightning!

Scorers in the Fog

The King’s Story

An Infamous Haze

The Singer

Turned With the Wind

A 14-Year-Old Line Judge

Flag By Microphone

You Don’t Come Out!

Solidarity

White Flag

Lion Heart

Hat Trick

Hirschl’s Instructions

Loud and Rude

The Diagnosis

The Deceiver

Halftime

Resisting Temptation

Why Did You Complain?

Double Relegation

Fatal Hat Tricks

A Strike Against His Own Goal

19 Red Cards in the Copa Libertadores

One for Two

As If With the Hand

Win Without Scoring?

Unusual Ejections

Return From Hell

Chickens

The Patron of Evil

Careless Hands

The Agreement

Why Did You Even Come?

Ecstasy

The Force of Nature

An Epidemic

Unsolicited Aid

The Draw

Keeping Count

The Big Escape

The Unlucky Hug

Exhibitionists

Expelled By His Captain

Lucky Shoes

God’s Forward

The Sentence

Painful Joy

Friends Are Friends

Pie-Smacked

Devil’s Afternoon

Honest Bribery

Red-Carded Twice…In the Same Match!

Father and Son

The Son Plays, The Father Gets the Money

They Score on the Son, They Eject the Father

Blue Blurred Numbers

From the Fields of War to the Soccer Field

Indestructible

Four Against Eleven

Thanks to the Fans

The Two Goalies Pelé and Di Stéfano

The Day That Brazil Played With Boca’s Jersey

Bread

The Warning

Scarves

“Hosts” in Another Country

Hot Water Showers

The Ball Boy Scorer

Not Even Twelve!

The Orgy

Lucky in Misfortune

Forward and Substitute Goalkeeper

Special Goalie Substitutions

Intolerance

The Brotherhood

The Flying Motorcycle

Deflated Victory

The Pardon

All Wrong

In the Two Goals

Smoke Break

Unusual Double

Goalie, Take Care of Your Shoe!

Red for the Fans

Well-Paid Revenge

I’m Not Leaving

Motivated

Expensive Goals

Olympic Goals

A Thing of Beauty

Ejection on Wheels

A Red Card Hat Trick

Thrown Out for Being a Goal Wrecker

Fast Reds

Expelled After Playing

Forgiveness in Block Letters

The Surprise

Compassion

Priorities

The Souvenir

Soccer Wakes

Inopportune Judgment

Omertà

Punished Reverence

The Unnecessary Red

Uninvited Guests

The Suspension

The Enemy at Home

The Hail Stone of Relegation

Tell the Rain

Welcomed Injury

Blow

They May Break But They Won’t Stop

Breaking Point

Cursed Curry

A Catholic Gesture

Gascoigne, the Jester

Yellow Machine Gun

The Honeymoon That Wasn’t

The Tomb

The Iceberg

The Witch

A Hot Celebration

Bibliography

On October 26, 2013, soccer, the most popular and exciting sport in the world, celebrated 150 years. It was on that day in 1863 when a group of visionaries met in a London pub called Freemason’s to create The Football Association and write the first “official” regulation for a new game, thereby setting it on its prestigious path. Since then, the ball has rolled along a vast and profuse road—and through stadiums—all over the world, and in millions of professional and amateur matches.

In popular memory, the great champions, the stars, and the gigantic feats are remembered. But these moments are not the focus of Most Incredible Soccer Matches . To write this book, I’ve dug into the sands of time in search of the most unusual matches, not the most transcendental ones. This book does not intend to recreate facts that have an important place in the history of soccer, but rather to recollect spectacular events that also deserve a place—though modest perhaps—for their unforgettable and unique characteristics. Many great clubs and players will be mentioned, as well as anonymous soccer players or unknown teams, because unexpected, curious, funny, and memorable episodes happened to them.

I’ll give you a few examples: a soccer player who scored all four goals of a game that ended 2-2. One referee who stopped the game to find the false teeth he had lost, another who sent off a coach when he learned that he was a “friend” of his wife, and a third who was about to be run over by the car of a player furious by the punishment he received. A goal scored by a dog and another by a seagull. A team thrashed after using a one-armed goalkeeper and another because their players had arrived having imbibed several more drinks than they should have during a player’s marriage ceremony. A midfielder who ate the referee’s red card and a defender who was suspended for a match even though, at the time of the ruling, he had been dead for more than a week. A match that had to be canceled due to the appearance of an iceberg and one striker who was sent off twice…in the same game!