Neila A. Connors - If You Don't Feed the Students, They Starve

Building relationships is a precondition to student learning. Students recognize the adults who do not enjoy their job, the students, and ultimately their life and can detect a phony in a heartbeat. It takes very special people to teach and be in education. No matter what your job title or classification is:

Superintendent, district level staff, principal, assistant/vice principal, support staff, – we ALL are TEACHERS first because students observe and note EVERYTHING we do, say, and model .

No matter what grade level, students recognize when adults enjoy being around them. There is an old saying I first heard in undergraduate school, “Students don't care how much we know until they know how much we care.” My friend and colleague, Dr. Richard Ramsey, always says in his presentations “You know the teachers and adults that students love; students are always hanging around their classroom/office and look forward to seeing the adult. If there are no students at your door during the day, they just don't like you.”

Jeanette Phillips, a former middle school principal in Fresno, California, shared this story: One day she was standing in the hallway talking and laughing with two seventh grade girls. A female teacher, known to all to be a “lemon sandwich eater” (grouchy and unhappy) and not student-friendly, walked up to Jeanette and the girls and sarcastically remarked, “Don't you just love these students?” to which one of the seventh grade girls responded, “If you love the students so much, why doesn't your face ever show it?” Wow! As my mother, Helen, always said, “The proof is in the pudding.”

We begin with respect, which fosters positive relationships that lead to relevance . Creating a relevant atmosphere of care and compassion is vital.

Compassion makes the world a better place. People who are compassionate do anything possible to help others; they are just kind. Compassionate teachers emphasize to students that their behavior can change the entire climate of the school. These students take pride in serving others, showing others that they truly care, teaching others how to be empathetic, recognizing others' gifts and talents, and understanding their feelings.

Teachers take the time to get to know their students and authentically listen, which will be addressed throughout because it is so important. As Mark Twain said, “If we were to speak more than listen, we would have been given two mouths instead of two ears.” Furthermore, they continually ask students for feedback. It is amazing how the smallest caring gesture can make a major difference and have a huge effect on the students.

Gene Bedley, director for the National Character Education Center in a session titled “Touch the Heart, Change the Student” through Rachel's Challenge ( www.rachelschallenge.org), explains that in schools where adults model care and compassion as well as teaching it to students, success follows. We know that caring is a skill that can be learned, and people who care are surrounded by a contagious energy that is inviting to others. They are genuine; they go above and beyond.

“Caring is a skill. The beaver is very skilled at its craft. It knows exactly what to do to fix a dam. The last thing a beaver needs is someone on the bank shouting out dam instructions.”

(author unknown)

An organization that promotes “wellness” recognizes the utmost importance of taking care of people in body, mind, and spirit. Wellness is showing up and being in the moment. Wellness initiatives are evident in all healthy organizations, but especially schools. Five-star restaurants provide for their employees and customers wellness by serving high-quality food in a fine setting. Five-star schools emphasize to students, teachers, parents, and the community the importance of taking care of oneself and each other. A healthy school is a happy school, creating an emphasis on wellness of all.

Wellness encompasses the staff as well as the students. Schoolwide wellness matters are addressed regularly because they augment learning and life. In a climate where staff wellness is imperative:

Less absenteeism occurs.

Productivity increases.

Morale increases.

Future employees want to work there.

The school's image is positive in the community.

There is less turnover.

Healthy behaviors are modeled.

Adults are healthy role models for students.

Adults enjoy each other, students, and their profession.

Ongoing health screenings are available.

Professional development is crucial and ongoing.

The district personnel applaud and support school wellness initiatives.

In a environment of where student wellness is imperative:

Students learn to make healthy choices.

Health and physical education classes are viewed as a vitally important component of the school curriculum.

Counseling services are available for students who deal with health problems.

Every student has an adult/mentor in the school who is an advocate and coach.

Life skills classes teach students how to live a healthy and productive life.

Adults recognize that health and success are related.

The loss of physical education or fine arts classes is never used as a disciplinary consequence.

The school lunch program initiates and supports healthy dining and includes a breakfast program for students who may not receive breakfast at home.

“Shake breaks” or recess are a part of the school activities.

Students are encouraged to bring healthy snacks and food to school.

Healthy living styles are modeled and discussed through the entire year.

Students participate in community service projects to further healthy living.

The promotion of wellness extends into the homes and community.

Sound fitness programs are available for all via intramurals and physical education.

Every student is encouraged to participate in extracurricular activities (sports, music, drama, clubs).

The dining area supports cleanliness and a healthy, pleasant atmosphere.

A fine dining experience includes “positiveness,” where everyone from the maître d to the servers to the busboys have a positive attitude about what they do. Positiveness must also exist in a FSS. We all know that the foundation to being positive is attitude . A positive attitude is the most important quality adults must possess to F.E.E.D. students so they don't S.T.A.R.V.E. (Stop Trying And Reject Valuable Education). Students know the adults who love being at the school and those who do not. Life is a choice, and every one of us chooses our attitude every day. When adults elect to work in schools with students they must make that choice because they like students, they believe they can make a difference, and they will do whatever it takes to help students achieve; consistency.

The longer I live, the more I realize the effect of attitude on life. Attitude is more important than the past, education, money, circumstances, than failures or successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more critical than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a school, company, church, or home. The significant attribute is that we have a choice each day to choose our attitude and hug and embrace it for the day. We can't change the past or the fact that people act a certain way. We can't change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have left, and that is our attitude . Life is 10% of what happens and 90% of how we react. It is crucial to accept that we are in charge of our own attitudes and how we deal with every situation.