Sue Fortin - The Girl Who Lied

We promise again we’ll follow our dreams.

*

Seven months before leaving

‘When exactly were you going to tell me?’ demands Roisin.

‘Tell you what?’ I try to act all innocent.

We’re sitting next to each other at registration. I know exactly what she means. She means me and Niall becoming a proper item. Proper boyfriend and girlfriend. I hadn’t told her before as I didn’t want her to tell the others. Jody Wright will no doubt find something funny about it.

‘Come on, Erin. Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m on about.’

Fortunately, Miss Martin, our form teacher, begins to call the register and I avoid answering Roisin. It gives me time to come up with a reasonable excuse.

As soon as registration is over and Miss Martin tells us to read in silence until the bell goes for first period, Roisin is hissing in my ear.

‘So?’ she demands. ‘When were you going to tell me you were going out with my brother? Why did you keep it a secret? I thought I was your best friend. Best friends are supposed to tell each other everything.’

I resist the urge to say what else best friends are supposed to do, like stick up for each other. Instead I say, ‘I was going to tell you eventually, but I was waiting until it was all official. We’ve only been out a few times.’ I hope she doesn’t press me to define ‘a few times’. I’ve actually seen Niall eight times in the last three weeks. Last night, he said we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend. I think Shane, Jody Wright’s brother, knows as he saw us together last night. He seems cool about it, though. He just said hello and carried on talking to Niall about what he was doing to his car. I suppose it is inevitable now that word will get around. After all, Rossway is only a small village.

I ask Roisin how she found out.

‘You didn’t come to the youth club again last night, so I went round to your house to see why.’

I gulp. ‘Did you speak to my mum? What did you say?’

‘Yes, I did, as a matter of fact. She said she thought you were at the youth club. That’s where you told her you were going.’ Roisin’s eyes narrow. ‘Your dad called out, wanting to know what you were up to.’

This time I can’t gulp. There’s a golf-ball-sized lump in my throat. I don’t want my dad to know I’ve been lying about what I’ve been doing. Roisin continues, a small look of amusement on her face. She knows what my dad is like.

‘Don’t worry, I didn’t give you away. I just said I remembered I was supposed to be meeting you there.’

‘Thank you.’ I look up over my book as I sense Miss Martin’s eyes trained upon us. We wait a few minutes before we start up again, making sure Miss Martin is preoccupied with trying to get the new interactive whiteboard working for her next class.

‘When I was walking back to the youth club, I saw Shane. He stopped to give me a lift. He said he’d seen you with Niall.’

‘Ah, Shane,’ I say. He would have just said it in conversation, I know. He’s not like his brother, Jody. I like Shane.

‘I had to act like I knew, of course,’ says Roisin.

‘I’m sorry. Like I said, I was going to tell you.’

The bell goes for first period and as I pack my book away in my bag, I feel a nudge on the shoulder. I turn round and Jody Wright is grinning, from his seat in the row behind.

‘Hey, Roisin,’ he says. ‘I saw your brother in the shop this morning.’ Roisin and Joe exchange a smirk. ‘He was buying carrots.’

I groan inwardly. I know what this is all about. Hastily I zip my bag shut and stand up, my chair bashes into the table behind me. It doesn’t distract Jody.

‘Carrots?’ questions Roisin.

‘Yeah, a whole load of them. He said they were for his bunny.’ He nudges me in the back again as I try to squeeze between Roisin and the tables. ‘You like carrots, don’t you, Bunny?’

‘Get lost,’ I say as I manage to execute my escape. I hear them laughing as I leave.

Niall tells me to take no notice of them. He’s had a word with Roisin and Shane. He’s sure the message will get through. He says he doesn’t care what they say anyway, that Jody’s a prick. I agree on that point. I say I agree on the not-caring point too, but really I do care. I wish Jody would let up. I don’t know why he and his cronies find me so bloody amusing.

We drive out to The Spit that night. It’s dark and cold. Niall has brought a blanket with him. We climb into the back seat and huddle together under the cover. We kiss each other. Up until now we haven’t actually had sex. We haven’t done anything yet. In fact, I haven’t done anything with anyone. However, all that changes in the next hour. It’s a bit of a fumble, not least because there’s no room and we can’t really see what we’re doing. Had I known, I might have worn my skirt.

Niall told me he loved me tonight. I’m not stupid enough to fall for that: only having sex with him because he loves me, although that did help. No, I wanted to do it with him. I love him and he loves me, it seems right – the next stage of our relationship. Afterwards, he holds me and tells me he loves me. I know he means it. So do I.

I feel different when I go into school the next day. Grown up. I see Niall at school and when we pass each other in the corridor he pulls me out of the line. I see the other girls look, with a sense of envy. They wish Niall Marshall had eyes for them. He asks me if I’m okay after last night. Of course I’m okay. I’m in love. He kisses me and tells me he loves me before running down the corridor to catch up with his class. I float in the other direction. I feel grown up. I feel loved.

I take the plate away from Mum, the pork chop barely touched and the vegetables only picked at.

‘Would you prefer a light sandwich?’ I ask.

Mum shakes her head. ‘Maybe later. A cup of tea would be nice, though. I’ll put the kettle on.’

‘No, you sit there, I’ll do it,’ I say as I flip the lid to the bin and tilt the plate to let the food slide off. Mum hates wasting food and takes it personally if anyone leaves so much as a morsel on the plate, so for her to leave pretty much all her dinner isn’t a good sign.

‘Erin, did you remember to get the café keys?’ says Mum.

‘Yeah, they’re in my bag.’ I try to suppress a frown as I recall my encounter with Messrs Wright.

‘I was so glad Kerry was there the other night,’ says Mum. For a moment she looks lost in her thoughts, then giving herself a little shake, she’s back with us. ‘Nice lad, he is.’

‘I remember him from when we were teenagers,’ I say. ‘He used to come down in the summer holidays.’

‘He’s been living here for quite a few years now. He works there with Max’s son, Joe,’ Mum explains, albeit needlessly, since I’ve established this myself.

‘Didn’t Max take him in because he was in some sort of trouble?’ asks Fiona, as she takes on tea-making duty. ‘I can’t remember the details, but wasn’t Kerry kicked out by his mum?’

‘Yes, that’s right.’ Mum looks thoughtful again. ‘Apparently, when Max’s brother died, that was Kerry’s father, the lad went off the rails a bit. Got into trouble with the Guards, I believe. The final straw was when his mum got a new husband. A clash of personalities, you could say. Lots of arguments. That type of thing. Anyway, Max felt he owed it to his brother to look after Kerry.’

We sit in silence for a few moments and I mull over the conversation. Kerry comes across as laid-back and I have a vague idea of him being pretty chilled out when we were teenagers. From what I saw today, I’d say he’s not changed much. It sounds like he had a troubled home life. I can relate to that.