M.J. Hollows - Goodbye for Now

‘So, where was I?’ Frank said, picking up the conversation and determined to ignore Joe’s accident. ‘Ah yes, why Harlow’s in a bit of an old grump. Do you remember that article that Barnes penned before he left? You edited it, I think.’

Joe could only nod in reply. His mouth had gone dry and he longed for the glass of water that he had spilt on the table. He swallowed and his tongue felt like paper.

‘You know the one, something about whether the war was just and all that rubbish. Just your kind of thing.’

‘Go on,’ Joe said, quietly, trying to pretend that he was eager for the rest of the story. ‘What about it?’

‘I’m coming to that. The other voice I could hear must have been the owner’s, and whew, he did not sound happy at all.’

‘How did you know it was the owner?’

‘Well, he said that we have to “support our brave men and boys”.’ Frank put on an air of superiority and sat taller in his chair as he said it, as if talking down at Joe, who resisted the urge to laugh. ‘So, it must have been him. I can put two and two together and get four, you know.’

‘All right, Frank. I didn’t mean any disrespect.’

‘He was pretty angry himself. Probably could have heard him from here if you was listening. I think he said that Harlow would have to fire the man that wrote it.’

‘You think?’ Joe felt his throat constrict again.

‘Yeah, well, his door’s pretty thick, isn’t it? Bit like him!’ He laughed again and then looked around to see if he had been heard. ‘Definitely heard something like that. Harlow tried to say he wouldn’t do it, but the owner raised his voice again. I heard something break.’

Joe felt incredibly guilty and, worst of all, sorry for Mr Harlow. He was a decent man and didn’t deserve the trouble that Joe had got him in. Still, he couldn’t come clean, otherwise Mr Harlow would have no choice but to let him go. Then what would he do? With the war he might find some other work that other men had left, but without a good reference and a sacking hanging over him that was unlikely. There was also the fact that even though he had done wrong, he was still in the best place to have an influence on the war and to help people realise what it was costing them.

‘Then he flung the door open and rushed out,’ Frank carried on. ‘He nearly bumped into me on his way out, but because he was in such a state he didn’t really notice. It gave me a chance to pretend I was just walkin’ past. Harlow just glanced my way as he closed the door. Didn’t think much of it at the time, but after seeing him before… he must have known I overheard.’

Frank was being uncharacte‌ristically sheepish.

‘You don’t think he thinks that I… do you?’

‘What? I asked you earlier what you’ve done now.’

‘I ain’t done nothing, I told you that.’

Joe was joking, trying to take his mind off his fear, but Frank was no longer in the mood. It seemed that even Frank’s moods could change as quickly as his.

‘I meant, do you think he thinks I wrote it? Me?’

‘No!’ Joe denied it more forcefully than he had intended, and Frank jumped back in his seat. ‘I mean, why would he? Albert Barnes wrote that article. You know he did. Why would he think otherwise?’

He was feeling desperate now and his words came out quickly. Frank didn’t seem to notice.

‘Yeah, but well, he’s disappeared, hasn’t he? He’s gone off to the war. Why write an article saying we shouldn’t fight and then go fight? Something’s not right about that.’

‘Could be he just wanted to question it and then decided that it was what he needed to do after all?’

He felt horrible about lying to Frank, but also that he now seemed to be condoning the acts of war. He was ashamed of himself. Ever since he had messed around with Albert’s article he had felt ashamed. It had been a moment of madness, well intentioned, but madness all the same.

‘Harlow can’t think it was me, he knows I’m off too. Better sooner rather than later, I think. Before I get pushed.’

Joe was glad that Frank was too self-involved to suspect that it might have been him that had written the article. He didn’t have anything else to say, so just patted Frank on the back as he stared into the middle distance.

After a few seconds the wheezing sound of Mr Harlow was back as he walked past.

‘I thought I told you two to get back to work. Don’t make me tell you again,’ he said as he disappeared off out of the main office.

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