Belinda Missen - An Impossible Thing Called Love

My Favourite William,

YES, PLEASE VERY MUCH THANK YOU OKAY

Now that I’ve breathed into a paper bag and calmed the hell down – yes! I would absolutely love to see you this side of the equator. And for my 21 st birthday of all things. That would be an incredibly sweet gesture. I’ll blow off life for a little while and we’ll go exploring.

Oh, and I’ve picked up some work at the local hospital. It’s admin work, but it’s great fun. I think I’ll do a short course on medical terminology. Currently investigating options. It seems more fun than my BA at the moment.

E x

29th September 2011

Lovely Emmy,

So, don’t I feel like an idiot right now. Leave declined. Couldn’t even wrangle a few weeks later in the year. I am so sorry. I’ll just sit in the corner and lick my wounds.

William.

16th October 2011

William,

Please don’t feel the need to apologise. It’s out of your control. We will catch up again, somewhere on this earth. It’s just a matter of things aligning. Hey, maybe if I get punched in the nose again, you’ll appear. I can’t say I’m keen to repeat that experience though.

Off to a party tonight, wish me luck!

E x

12th November 2011

My Emmy,

It feels a little strange to say it’s been so long since we’ve talked. One thing I did notice? I’ve missed it – and I know that it’s my fault. I’ve been working and socialising, got a bit of late autumn camping in, and have been studying until it feels like my eyes are about to drop out of my head.

The end of first year is fast approaching for you – how do you think you’ve fared? And are you enjoying it? I know we talked about moving sideways into medicine (despite how tired I am, I do love it – please don’t let that put you off). Have you had any leads on night school? I’m keen to hear about that – please keep me updated. I’ll send you a book if you like. I’m going to send it to you anyway. It was a great help to me, so I’m sure you’ll find it useful.

Recently, someone’s asked to rent one of my spare rooms. They’ll be working in London soon and will need a place to stay. Problem is, I don’t mind the peace and quiet when I get home. Upside is I can charge rent, I suppose, and that’ll help with the mortgage. What do you think?

I found this great little eatery nearby that I’m going to take you to one day. Best pho ever. It’s just off the Harrow Road, near home. Have you been to your favourite sandwich shop lately? I look forward to the day I can (finally) get there and shout you lunch.

I’m off to bed for the night, but look out for the postcard I sent you from our camping trip.

Yours,

William x

1st December 2011

My William,

Corn-wall. It’s been ten minutes and I haven’t stopped laughing. My mum snatched the postcard from me and wanted to know who sends postcards like that. Ha!

So, what would you say if I came to visit instead? I have a job now (because that doesn’t make me sound like a bum at all), so I could grab a cheap ticket, stay in a hostel. Maybe we could meet in Edinburgh for New Year’s? Or, maybe after New Year’s? I think it’s a bit late to organise a New Year’s trip now.

Let me know,

E x

10th January 2012

Ems,

Yes, to all the above except the hostel. I have plenty of room here. It’s staggering how big this place is for just me. Now, I did buy it with the future in mind, and I do have a lodger now, but there is still plenty of room here. I’ll make up one of the spare rooms, and we can work out what happens from there. Just buy the ticket and let me know when you’ve booked for. I’ll meet you at Heathrow.

Gotta run, but wanted to let you know that it’s a very big yes from me.

Will x

27th February 2012

William!

I am laughing so much right now. I squealed so loudly at your email that Craig and I got kicked out of a lecture. For real, this time. In front of everyone, and I laughed all the way out the door and into the halls. Don’t care, too busy being excited. Let’s make this happen! I’m going to put together my London Bucket List. I know, I know, bucket list makes it sound morbid, but it’s a list of places I want to see and things I want to eat.

So, shoot me some recommendations.

Much love,

Emmy.

15th March 2012

My lovely Emmy,

I love the idea of the bucket list. If you get it through to me early enough, I’ll work out a rough itinerary. How long are you thinking of staying for? A week? Two? A month? Let me know all of that and I’ll work around it. I’ll show you all my favourite ‘outside London’ spots, too.

William.

31st March 2012

Dear Mr Tour Guide,

I’ve attached a mini-list of everywhere I think I should go. I want all the kitschy, flag-waving tourist experiences. I want high teas and night-time cocktails, fancy theatres and bus tours. Buckingham Palace is open in the summer, right? Let’s go there, too. Have you been?

What do you think of my list?

Emmy.

20th April 2012

Hey there,

Just checking in to see if you got my last email? I’m guessing you’re run off your feet now, so that’s why you’ve been quiet. It’s okay. I’ve been dealing with some stuff here, too.

Dad’s not well. The idiot went and had a heart attack, so we’re all sitting in the hospital waiting room at the moment. The doctors think he’ll be okay, so that’s a good thing, right?

Can I ask you something? I know we’ve always emailed or posted, but can I call you? I need someone to talk to about this, and I think you’re the only one who’d make sense. You know, being a doctor and all.

Looking forward to hearing your voice.

E xo

15th May 2012

William,

Okay. I’m getting worried now. I have no other way of contacting you. Heather checked Facebook and can’t find you. Are you okay?

Emmy.

21st June 2012

William,

I’m not sure what’s going on. I hope it’s that you’re busy and you’re kicking ass at your job. Saving lives and taking names, right?

I have some news. Heather and Josh are moving to London in January. They’ve both picked up work, and they’re flying high. I’m a little jealous, and a whole lot of sad but, more than anything, I’m excited for them. Her career is kicking along nicely, and I’m so proud of her. I’ll miss them both terribly, but it’s a good excuse to visit, right?

Are you okay?

Emmy.

3rd August 2012

William,

Where are you?

Emmy.

I tried one last time to send an email.

This message was created automatically by mail delivery software.

A message that you sent could not be delivered to one or more of its recipients. This is a permanent error. The following address(es) failed:

william.scott@southlandclinic.co.uk

No Such User Here

***

When Dad was sick, William was the one person I would have trusted over anecdotal websites, misinformed family, or sanitised for the public doctors. Talking to him, though we hadn’t physically spoken to each other in almost eighteen months at the time, would have put my mind at ease and pointed me in the right direction. And when my two best friends decided to pack up and move to London, he was the one person I thought I could count on for … something. What I hadn’t counted on was this. This was cold, and it hurt.