Jill Kemerer - Reunited With The Bull Rider

Old times. The best days of his life. Even better than winning his first Professional Bull Riders World Championship at the age of twenty-three. Every minute with Amy had been like a dream.

Ruby reached for the cup and licked the whipped cream.

Amy smiled, scrunching her nose at the girl. He had to avert his gaze at all the affection in her expression. He used to be the recipient of it. The past ten years suddenly felt bleaker than he remembered them.

“I was wondering,” Amy said, tracing the rim of her mug, “would you two mind if I came over later? I’ve never seen your house.” She gave Nash a charged look, and he instantly understood. They needed to talk but not with Ruby around. And the only place they could reasonably expect privacy was in Ruby’s domain.

“Sure.” He knew she was going to back out of their arrangement, and he didn’t blame her. He suppressed a sigh. “How about seven-thirty?”

“Great.” She sipped her cocoa. “How is it, Ruby? Chocolaty enough?”

“Mmm.” She sat on his lap, happily slurping her cocoa. He had to hand it to the kid—she bounced back quickly. His spirits sank, realizing how much hope he’d put into Ruby spending time with a woman. Would take some of the pressure off him. Not to mention, he hadn’t had more than a minute to himself while Ruby was awake since the day he took custody. If she couldn’t handle being with someone as nice as Amy for short periods, what chance did he have at giving her a normal childhood?

Amy began talking about the daily coffee flavors, and they chatted about other changes in the town. Anyone who walked by would think they were having a pleasant visit. A couple of old friends catching up. And he was glad she could be civil, even if they’d never be friends.

By the time they’d all finished their drinks, he didn’t know what to do. He hadn’t begged for anything since he was a small boy, but thinking about Ruby’s future made him desperate enough to contemplate begging Amy to reconsider.

He just wished he had another choice.

* * *

“She’s out.”

Amy waited for Nash to join her at his kitchen island. She’d arrived an hour ago, and she’d tried to engage Ruby by asking her about the toys in the living room, but Ruby hadn’t seemed interested in them. Only when Nash had suggested watching a Disney movie had Ruby’s face lit up. Thankfully, she’d fallen asleep halfway through Frozen . Not that Amy had anything against that particular cartoon; it was just hard to be in a family-type environment with Nash, especially given what she needed to ask him.

She needed the full story of Ruby’s past.

Her mind had been so preoccupied, she hadn’t had time to truly process his gorgeous house or the fact it was exactly the type of home she used to dream about, back when she still had hopes of getting married and having kids of her own. She’d thought she’d be raising a family in a place like this with property not too far from town. She’d thought wrong.

“Are you sure she won’t wake up?” She didn’t want Ruby to stumble in on them discussing her.

“I don’t think she will. She woke up briefly when I pulled the bedspread over her, but I stayed until she fell asleep again.”

One look at his face and all the questions she’d rehearsed earlier vanished. His eyes always changed to gray when he turned melancholy. Seeing the slate shade brought a ping of sadness to her heart. She’d always done her best to soothe his blue moods. But that was then and a lot of life had happened since he’d left. He would have to deal with his moods himself.

“I take it she fell apart when I left her at your apartment earlier.”

“I wouldn’t say she fell apart.” Sitting on a stool, she folded her hands on the counter. “It was actually worse than falling apart. I don’t know how to describe it except she almost seemed catatonic. It scared me. I didn’t know what to do. She was terrified. Couldn’t stop staring at the door after you left. Her face turned white. She trembled. When I suggested meeting you at the coffee shop, she finally snapped out of it.”

He frowned. “What did she do then?”

“Tears started falling, but she listened to me and held my hand all the way to The Beanery.”

He drummed his fingers on the counter. “Makes sense in a way.”

“It doesn’t to me, and that’s why I’m here.” She raised her chin. “I need to know more about her childhood.”

Fear flashed in his eyes.

“I need to know it all.” Amy wasn’t backing down on this. Either she had all the facts to come up with a realistic way forward to spend time with Ruby, or she had to walk away.

“You’re not going to like it.”

“I’m well aware of that.”

“This needs to stay confidential. I want her to have no baggage in this town. I don’t care who knows I’m really her brother raising her as my daughter, but no one needs to know the horror this kid’s been through.”

“Agreed. You have my word I will not tell anyone the details you share.”

“I’ve told you about our mother.” He crossed his arms over his chest, leaning forward. “She went through cycles of heavy drug use and court-mandated rehab. When she was using, she’d do anything—and I mean anything—to get money for her fix. Prostitution. Theft. You name it. She had no sense of time, no sense of reality. Since Ruby had no father or siblings living with her, the poor kid had to rely on herself when our mother was higher than a kite. Inevitably, our mother would get picked up by the cops and thrown in jail for whatever she was guilty of, and while she served time, Ruby would be placed in foster care. But our mother would get out and she’d be clean, so she’d get custody again until the cycle repeated.”

“How often did this happen?” Amy’s mind was spinning from the scenario. She pictured Ruby small, hungry, scared. She also pictured an unstable drug addict not taking care of the girl.

“Too often.”

What did that mean? Every two months? Once a year? She sighed. It didn’t really matter. “So walk me through the things she had to endure.”

“Being left alone in a filthy apartment with limited food. Could have been a couple hours. Sometimes, I’m sure it was days.”

“Days? But she was practically a baby!” Amy brought her hand to her chest. Horrible. “She needed a babysitter. No young child should be left alone in a house for any length of time.”

“Trust me. I know.” He exhaled loudly. “Then there was the fact our mother used around her. Ruby grew up around drug paraphernalia. I guarantee Ruby witnessed her shooting up. I’m sure there was emotional abuse, as well.”

Tears threatened at the thought of sweet Ruby going through all that.

“And this went on her entire life?” Amy sniffed.

“Yes. Up until mid-December at least.”

“If her case workers knew all this, why did they ever let her return to her mother?” The injustice of it made her want to wring someone’s neck.

“They want to keep families together, and they didn’t know all of it.”

If they hadn’t known all of it, and he hadn’t seen his mother in a decade... “How do you know this is what happened?”

He bowed his head briefly before meeting her eyes. “From experience.”

It took a few seconds to register, but when it did... She shook her head slightly, her gaze still locked with his. “I see.”

And she did. These new facts sliced open her heart. She’d thought she’d known Nash when they’d dated. She’d always sensed the pain under his easy smile. Understood there were things so awful from his past he might not ever be able to share them. But she hadn’t known this.

“You could have told me,” she said softly. “You know, back then.”