Jill Kemerer - Reunited With The Bull Rider

“How did you get custody of her then? Wouldn’t someone close to her, someone she was familiar with, raise her?”

“You’d think so, right?” He flexed his fingers. “Needless to say, my mother didn’t leave a will. Ruby’s father is like mine—unknown. Our mother was turning tricks for drugs at the time and had no idea who he was. Believe me, the courts and I did our best to find out. We had little to go on. No one else wants the kid.”

Amy’s face looked ready to crack into a million pieces. “Do you want her?”

“Yes.”

“A child isn’t a duty.”

“Exactly.” He lightly thumped his knuckles on the table. “That’s what I told the judge when I petitioned to be her guardian. I couldn’t let her grow up the way I did.” He hadn’t meant to admit the last part. When they’d dated, he’d purposely not discussed his upbringing with Amy. He hadn’t wanted her to know the depravity of his youth. Since he’d moved to Sweet Dreams from Sheridan, Wyoming, when he was thirteen, hiding his childhood hadn’t been difficult to do.

What did it matter now? He’d lost all rights with her the day he’d skipped town.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

He had to get back on track. “Ruby’s been growing up in a bad—I’m talking highly dysfunctional—environment. The night our mother died, the police went to the apartment she’d been living in. Ruby was there, alone. No food. Heat was turned off. Electricity, too. Who knows how long she’d been there by herself? Believe me when I say the only stable times in the girl’s life have been when she was in foster care while our mother was in jail.”

Amy’s eyes widened, and she blinked rapidly. Then she lifted her chin. “Why here? Why bring her to Sweet Dreams?”

Because he’d had no other choice. Ten years ago he’d purchased a home nearby, but that had been when he’d still believed he could have it all, including Amy.

“I own property outside of town. As soon as the court awarded me custody, Ruby’s therapist recommended I get her settled as soon as possible, and she was adamant about Ruby needing stability. I’d bought the house and land before...well...before I left, but I’ve never lived there. I’ve been renting it out. The therapist urged me to raise Ruby here permanently.”

“Back up.” She brought her hand in front of her, palm out, fingers splayed. “You own a house here?”

“Yeah.”

“I guess I didn’t know you at all.” She tucked her lips under as if trying to get her emotions under control. “Not an orphan. Bought a house—I’m assuming when we were still together. What else didn’t you tell me?”

Regret thundered through his veins. He wished he was on a bull, in the chute, ready to be released into the dirt arena. It was the only place he’d ever been able to escape. He imagined wrapping his hand with the rosined rope...

“Never mind. I don’t want to know.” She turned her head to the side, exposing the pale skin of her neck.

“The reason I left—”

“No.” She held her hand out. “You don’t get to do this now. I’m not interested in your confession. It’s too late. I’m here for one reason—to mentor a little girl. Whatever you want to get off your chest will have to stay there.”

“You would still help her?” Nash had to give it to her—she was courageous. He’d always admired her quiet strength, her morals, the way she’d soothe anything bothering him. And he’d thrown it all away.

“I don’t know.” Her dark eyebrows formed a V. “It’s a lot to take in.”

“She’s withdrawn, malnourished, fearful. She was placed with a young couple while the courts decided if I could be her permanent legal guardian. I visited as often as allowed. It took a long time before she warmed up to me. The day I gained custody was the day we moved here. The therapist thought it would be best. No more temporary living arrangements.”

“So you’re here to stay.”

“Yes.”

“For as long as Ruby needs.”

“Forever. Dottie Lavert will help out when she can. Clint’s nearby. Wade isn’t far. Marshall, too.” Clint Romine, Wade Croft and Marshall Graham were his best friends—practically his brothers—from his time at Yearling Group Home. They’d all been sent to the group foster home as young teens, and they’d stayed friends as adults.

“Good. Sounds like you don’t need me.”

“I wouldn’t be here if Ruby didn’t need someone. The therapist wants her to have a positive female influence. A consistent presence—someone who can give her a better understanding of how a caring woman acts. Basically, the opposite of our mother. It’s too much to ask of you, though. Like I said, I never in a million years would have dreamed...”

“What? That I would want to help a child?”

That you wouldn’t have a houseful of kids of your own. And he knew she didn’t. Clint had told him she was single. He had no clue why. She was the most nurturing person he knew.

“Clint told me you keep busy with your quilts and the store. I didn’t think you’d be willing to give up so much time for a stranger’s kid.”

“Yes, well, I like children, and I want to make a difference. I just think the situation is too bizarre for me to be Ruby’s mentor. It would be uncomfortable for us both.”

Exactly. This had been an extremely uncomfortable ten minutes.

“I agree. Hopefully, the pastor has someone else who can help. I’m not looking for a babysitter—I retired from bull riding and I’ll be spending all my time with Ruby until she starts school next year—but given the circumstances...well...she needs more than me.”

Amy wrapped her arms around her waist and didn’t reply.

The problems he’d faced over the past four months galloped back. Learning his mother was dead. Retiring from the profession he’d loved. Figuring out how to live in one spot when all he’d done was travel for a decade. Raising Ruby, who was emotionally stunted, when he had no idea how to be a parent. And this meeting—he’d been so hopeful the woman would be exactly what Ruby needed. From what the pastor said, no one else was available. A clawing feeling gripped his throat.

He wasn’t equipped for any of this. And he really hated failing.

“I hope you were able to catch up.” The pastor walked back in, a big smile on his face. “Amy, now that you are more aware of what Ruby has been through, do you have any questions? Concerns?”

“Yes.”

The hair on the back of Nash’s neck bristled.

“As Nash mentioned, we knew each other a long time ago. In fact, we dated. Given this information, don’t you think someone else should be paired with Ruby?”

“Well, it depends.” He cupped his chin, rubbing his jaw. “I’m assuming it wasn’t an amicable parting.”

Amy quickly shook her head. Nash looked away.

“If you both can put your personal feelings aside and keep Ruby the main priority, then I don’t think there’s a problem. But if there is any revenge in either of your hearts, I urge you to decline. You won’t be able to support Ruby the way that she needs. We must all work together for her. She’s been through enough. Wouldn’t you agree?”

“Yes,” they replied at the same time.

“Since you dated some years ago, I’m guessing you’ve both moved on, so I don’t think it will be an issue. And it’s up to you two how much interaction you want to have. Amy, why don’t you meet Ruby before making any decisions?” The pastor tilted his head, watching her response. She considered for a moment before nodding. He smiled. “Good. I’ll take you down there. Nash, you wait here, and we can talk more when I get back.”

Nash tracked Amy’s moves as she left the room. An ache spread across his chest. She would never agree to help Ruby.