“I don’t know what you mean.”
Burke shifted from one foot to the other, the action moving him just slightly away from her. It was all she could do to keep from leaning in his direction to bring him closer again.
He scratched the back of his head, looking uncomfortable.
“I just meant...I don’t want it to be weird for you, with me staying here. I know it’s where you and Gavin—”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She crossed her arms over her chest, willing Burke to drop the conversation. She didn’t want to think about what his words meant. She didn’t want to relive a past that needed to stay buried.
Burke stopped talking when she interrupted him, but his eyes were intent on hers. She blinked, refusing to look away. Refusing to back down. She would pretend as though his presence didn’t affect her, that none of it touched her. She was a master of denying her emotions.
She’d had to be or her grief would have pulled her under a long time ago.
She stared him down until his features smoothed out, understanding darkening his eyes.
“Okay then.”
She gave a short nod and made to move past him. He blocked her way for a moment longer.
“This is only temporary, Erin. I promise.”
She didn’t react, and after another few seconds, he stepped aside to let her pass. As she brushed by him, she schooled her features to a blank slate so he couldn’t see the turmoil inside her.
* * *
AFTER HIS ENCOUNTER with Erin, Burke finished up a few more of the drywall repairs on the second floor. His chores eventually led him to the large windows overlooking the Moontide’s expansive backyard. He paused to stare out the window, admiring the gazebo that had been the showcase for so many weddings over the years.
When he and Tessa had first begun planning their wedding, she had suggested the Moontide as the venue. He had been adamant in his refusal, and when Allan had proposed holding the wedding at the Delphine, Burke had pushed Tessa in that direction. She’d broached the subject of the Moontide only once, asking why he seemed to have such bitter memories of the only real home he’d known after his parents’ death.
He’d been sharp in his response, snapping something about the Moontide and all it represented for him—family vacations that he’d lost, memories that had been stolen before they were made. Tessa, with her typical sweetness, had not taken his tone to heart but rather wrapped her arms around him and replied, “Then we’ll create new memories, enough for two lifetimes, to make up for the ones you never had.”
Her goodness shamed him. She’d been understanding, far more than she should have been, especially because his answer to her was only part of the truth. The Moontide represented not only the childhood that had been taken from him...but the woman he’d once loved.
Even though she’d chosen his brother over him.
He ground his teeth, conflicting emotions assaulting him. He missed Tessa. If she were here now, she’d find a way to lift his spirits without pushing him to share what had soured his mood. Tessa had a way of knowing when he just needed her to wrap her arms around him without speaking a word. He would miss having that in his life.
Thinking of Tessa prompted him to pull his phone out of his back pocket and check the screen. No missed calls. No new texts. A couple of email alerts but nothing urgent. He clicked into the screen and began typing a new message.
Tess, are you...
He stopped and deleted the last two words and started again.
Tess, I’m sorry for...
He stopped a second time but continued to stare at the screen until the light dimmed and the phone went dark. He’d just lost the woman who was supposed to be his wife. Shouldn’t he have something to say to her?
With a sigh, he pocketed the phone and looked out over the backyard once more. As his gaze swept the overgrown lawn, his eyes caught on a flicker of movement behind one of the white oak trees. He looked closer and noticed a small foot, moving back and forth, nearly hidden from view but just barely visible with the movement.
Even from this distance, he recognized Kitt’s sneaker. His nephew must have fled outside after he’d left him and Erin earlier.
Burke stood there for another minute, waiting to see if the little boy made any moves to come inside. When he didn’t, Burke decided he’d earned a break from his repairs and headed for the stairs so he could step outside and check on his nephew.
* * *
BURKE FOUND KITT in the same position he’d witnessed from the second floor windows. The little boy was hidden behind the trunk of one of the Moontide’s ancient oaks, his foot moving back and forth to the silent rhythm that had betrayed his position. He had a book in his lap, but he wasn’t reading. The day was warming up, with only a smattering of clouds in the sky. The rain from yesterday had dried up, and the ground was dry as Burke sat down beside his nephew.
“Hey,” he greeted.
Kitt didn’t respond, didn’t so much as look at Burke.
“I wanted to thank you for your help this morning,” Burke continued, unfazed by Kitt’s silence. “Why’d you run off? We were only halfway done with the drywall repairs.”
Kitt still said nothing. His silence was nearly palpable, his sadness even more so.
“Did your leaving have something to do with...your mom and me?”
Though Kitt didn’t speak, he shifted noticeably.
“Sorry, little man. Your mom and I, we...well, she had a good point. I should have been more careful with that knife.”
“It’s not your fault. I shouldn’t have touched it. Mom always tells me not to touch knives.”
The words came in such a rush that Burke suspected Kitt had been holding them in ever since Erin had confronted him earlier that morning.
“I didn’t mean to get you in trouble,” Kitt mumbled, his voice so low that Burke had to lean in close to hear him. He smiled at Kitt’s concern.
“Who, me? Don’t worry about it. Your mom won’t stay mad for long.”
He didn’t know about that last part. There was a time when Erin wouldn’t have stayed mad at him. But a lot had changed since then, an ocean of silence and distance. It occurred to him, however, that maybe Erin needed him more than she let on. Not because of the friendship they’d once shared but because of what she’d lost.
What they’d all lost. Gavin.
If anyone knew what a grounding force Gavin had been, it was Burke. His older brother had held him up after the death of their parents. He’d stepped into the gap of loss and filled it as best he could. Though death had brought instability and grief, Gavin had been the one constant to see Burke through the hard times. Burke had taken that for granted, not only as a child but into adulthood. He’d been selfish in keeping his distance, assuming Gavin would always be there.
But in the end, the brother he’d idolized had been a mere mortal when death came calling. He sniffed, his eyes filling at the thought. He blinked away the tears, refusing to let Kitt see him cry. When his vision cleared, he saw his nephew was watching him.
“You think that’s true? About Mom not staying mad?”
He forced a grin. “Are you kidding? How can she stay mad at two of the most handsome guys in Findlay Roads?” He nudged Kitt, trying to draw a laugh. The most he got was the ghost of a smile.
They sat in silence for another couple of minutes. Kitt didn’t seem uncomfortable, but the sadness that constantly surrounded him lingered in the air between them. Burke tried to think of something else to say, words that could draw Kitt out of his shell.
“You asked me this morning about your dad, and stuff he did when we were kids.”
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