Margaret Allison - Principles And Pleasures

“Hello, Josh,” Meredith managed to say, glancing at him as casually as she could. Suddenly she felt like giggling for no reason whatsoever except that Josh Adams was standing beside her. She was back in high school. She was the nerd talking to the most popular boy in town.

Meredith glanced toward the balcony. The Durans were watching them. Cassie Duran leaned over and whispered in her husband’s ear while shaking her head in disapproval. Meredith snapped out of her reverie.

“Carly,” she said. “I need to speak with you.”

“I’m busy,” Carly said.

“I’m afraid I have to insist,” Meredith said, taking her sister’s arm. She attempted to give Josh a casual smile. “Nice to see you again, Josh.”

“Meet me in the gazebo in ten minutes,” Carly said to Josh. She turned back toward Meredith and yanked her arm away. “What is so important that it couldn’t wait?”

Meredith said, “Upstairs.”

Viera met them at the landing and whisked them into the second-floor library.

Viera slammed the door behind them. “What are you doing?” Viera asked Carly. Her voice was shrill and accusatory. “The other day when you were talking about Josh, I didn’t honestly think you were serious. I didn’t think you would contact him and arrange to meet him while your fiancé was out of town.”

“Calm down, Mother. I wasn’t.”

“What do you mean?” Meredith asked.

“I mean, Josh just showed up. Out of the blue. Isn’t that weird?” Carly leaned back in the chair, smiling contentedly.

“Have you been drinking?” Meredith asked, knowing her sister rarely drank.

“A little champagne,” Carly said, pinching her fingers together.

“Carly,” said her mother. “Think of Mark. What’s he going to say when his parents tell him about you cavorting with another man?”

“It’s not just any man. It’s Josh.” She focused her innocent eyes on Meredith. “Meredith, tell her. Tell her how special Josh is.”

“Me?” Meredith swallowed. “What makes you think I…well…”

“It doesn’t make any difference anyway,” Carly said, sounding like a spoiled child. “It’s nobody’s business but mine.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” Viera said calmly. “If you don’t marry Mark…”

“We’ll lose the precious Durasnow contract,” Carly said. “Well, I am marrying him. But I have one more wild oat to sow first.”

“Carly!” Viera gasped.

Meredith and her mother exchanged a glance. Meredith held her breath. This was terrible. Awful. Her sister was going to fool around with Josh? The man to whom she had lost her virginity? The only man she had ever slept with?

She needed to admit the truth to her sister right now. To confess her history with Josh. It’s just that…well, what did it matter anyway? It was a long time ago. One night. She doubted Josh even remembered.

“It’s none of your business if I—” Carly stood. “If I—” She held her hand to her mouth and swallowed.

“Carly?” Meredith asked. “Are you all right?”

“I—excuse me…” With one hand over her mouth and one on her stomach, Carly ran into the bathroom.

“This is terrible,” Viera said. “Her whole future. Ruined. It’s the curse. The curse of the Cartwright women.”

Meredith knew what her mother was referring to. The Cartwright women were known for their poor choices in husbands. Meredith and Carly often joked about the infamous men in their family. Their great-grandfather had died in the arms of another woman, as had their grandfather. Viera’s first husband, Meredith’s father, was also a notorious playboy. He died of a heart attack just like his father and grandfather, while making love to a woman who was not his wife. Viera’s second husband, Carly’s father, was not a playboy but a thief. After bilking millions of dollars out of his wife’s company, he killed himself shortly after the board discovered his crime.

“She loves Mark. She’ll marry him,” Meredith said. She could not bear the thought of her sister losing Mark. Carly had chosen a man unlike her father or her grandfather. Mark Duran was sweet, earnest and madly in love with her.

“Careful,” her mother said, “you sound like a romantic. Practical Meredith…at least I’ll never have to worry about you.”

“Why not?” Meredith said.

“Because you’re not like your sister, giving your heart away to this man or that man.”

“You’re saying you don’t have to worry about me because I don’t have a boyfriend?”

“You’ve never had a boyfriend. Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” her mother said. “You just prefer to be alone than date some of the eligible bachelors that have expressed interest.”

“What eligible bachelors?” Meredith asked. It was true that she had never had a boyfriend, but she wasn’t avoiding men. She dated…occasionally.

“Frank…for one,” she said, mentioning a local dentist with whom Meredith had shared several dinners.

“I’m not interested in him. No chemistry.”

“See?”

“I don’t want to go out with just anyone. After all, I’m busy. I have a lot of responsibility.”

“Of course, dear.” But Meredith could tell from her mother’s voice she did not understand.

“I’m one of the only women running a conglomerate,” Meredith continued.

“Of course, dear,” her mother repeated.

“And it’s not as if I turn men down,” she said. “I can’t remember when I was asked out last.”

“You’re smart, Meredith,” her mother said. “Most women your age are rushing around, caring for their husbands, their children. You just have to worry about yourself.”

“Right,” Meredith said, rather uncertainly.

“Especially now, during the holiday season,” Viera continued. “Most women your age are busy with parties and presents. But you don’t have to bother yourself with any of that. I’m sure this Christmas you’ll be at your office, dealing with business as usual.”

Carly opened the bathroom door. She made her way over to the couch and lay down. “I’m sick,” she said.

“Too much champagne and men,” her mother said.

“Speaking of which—” Carly touched a hand to her forehead “—Josh is waiting for me.” She turned toward Meredith and said, “He’s in the gazebo. Tell him that I couldn’t make it, but I’ll see him tomorrow.”

“Me?” Meredith asked. She did not want to see Josh alone. What if he mentioned their night together? It was too awkward. “Maybe you should go,” Meredith said to her mother.

“Absolutely not,” Viera said. “I’m going to find the Durans and try to smooth things over. Besides, I really don’t care if he stands there all night. Let him freeze his—”

“Mother!” Carly said. “Please, stop talking. My head is spinning.” She grabbed Meredith’s hand and held it. “You’ll go?”

Meredith looked at her sister. She always had a terrible time refusing her anything. “Okay,” she said. Taking a breath for confidence, Meredith headed toward the door. Out of the corner of her eye, she could’ve sworn she saw her sister mouth something to her mother. But when she turned back, Viera was frowning and Carly had her eyes closed.

“Go on,” her mother said. “And hurry back.”

Meredith walked out of the room. She tried to swallow the sadness welling in her throat. It had pained her to hear her mother sum up her life like that. But she knew Viera was not trying to be cruel. After all, it was the truth. Meredith had no social life. And it was looking as though she never would. Whereas Carly always had too many men to choose from, Meredith never had any.

But her mother was wrong to assume she liked her situation. She had not planned on being the girl never asked to dance. During college, she had tried to change. Tried to be more like Carly. And that was how she’d ended up with Josh.