Anne Herries - Her Knight Protector

Katherine watched as Celestine arched her head back, her manner that of surrender to his desire. It was an intimate moment and private. Withdrawing from her window, Katherine felt hot and ashamed of spying on the lovers.

She had not been able to see them clearly enough to know who the man was, but she suspected that it was their host. Celestine had been doing her best to tease him all evening. And now it seemed that they had an understanding of an intimate kind. Perhaps she would stay in Rome with him.

Feeling even more restless than before, Katherine returned to her bed and lay down. Seeing the lovers entwined in that passionate embrace had made her more aware of all that was missing in her life. Would she ever know that kind of intimacy? It was unlikely, for who would want to lie with her? She had thought that she could face a life without love, but that was before she had looked into a pair of blue eyes and seen a smile that made her heart beat faster.

She knew that once she had parted from Sir Alain her life would seem emptier than before—but there was nothing she could do but accept her fate. To sigh for the impossible would only bring her unhappiness.

‘Are you thinking of staying here for a while?’ Katherine asked Celestine as they walked in the villa gardens the next morning. ‘Our host has said that we are welcome and you have expressed doubts about returning to your dower lands.’

And she had seen that kiss in the garden the previous night!

‘It would suit me to live here as the wife of such a wealthy man,’ Celestine admitted. ‘But our host already has a wife. They live apart for much of the time, but there is no chance of another taking her place. I dare say I might be his mistress if I cared for it.’

‘I see…’ Katherine glanced at her curiously. Had that kiss meant nothing to Celestine? ‘Are you attracted to Marcus Aurelius?’

‘As much as I am to most men,’ she admitted and laughed as she saw Katherine’s look of inquiry. ‘Do not be shocked, my sweet Katherine. When you have been married you will understand that all men are much the same and desire only one thing of a woman. Understanding that is the key to getting what you need from them. For as long as you keep them wanting, they will do anything to please you. But their passion soon tires.’

Katherine was shocked at the cold calculation she saw in the other’s eyes. ‘But what of love?’ She echoed the question Sir Alain had asked of her the previous night. ‘Does that mean nothing?’

‘It is a myth,’ Celestine said mockingly. ‘Do not believe those sweet songs the bards sing, Katherine. They are meant to lure the unsuspecting woman into a trap. Men use courtship to gain what they most desire. Once they tire of their pleasure, they care not what becomes of the woman they once professed to love.’

Katherine was silent, though her mind denied Celestine’s words. She knew it was not true. How could it be? Her father had loved her mother until the day he died. Her memory had been as a shrine to him and he had never despoiled it. Perhaps such a love was rare, but it did exist and Katherine knew that she could never be satisfied with anything less.

‘No, no, I shall return to France,’ Celestine said as though making up her mind. She turned her coaxing smile on Katherine. ‘And I hope to persuade you to be my companion, dearest girl. Have you made up your mind?’

‘Not yet,’ Katherine confessed. ‘Whatever happens, I must see my uncle first, Celestine—and then who knows?’ In her heart she knew that she would never want to live with this woman, but it might be best to let her believe otherwise.

Celestine had as yet given her no reason to suspect her of treachery, and yet she could not trust her.

‘Why so pensive?’ Maria asked as she dressed Katherine’s hair that evening. ‘I hope you are not being foolish, my dove?’

‘What do you mean?’ Katherine avoided her faithful nurse’s searching gaze. ‘No, do not tell me. I am in no mood for one of your scolds.’ She had not seen Sir Alain all day and had discovered that she missed him almost more than she could bear.

‘It will end in tears.’ Maria shook her head at her. ‘He thinks you a child. ’Tis the other one he lusts after, mark my words. That one will have them all running after her like panting dogs.’

‘Maria! I will not have you say such things.’ Katherine turned away from her angrily. She did not care to hear Maria’s words, though she knew they were said for her benefit. Had she mistaken the look she’d seen in Sir Alain’s eyes? It had been brief, yet she had thought for one glorious moment that he might care for her—but Maria’s words had made her doubt. Why should he look at her, slight and plain as she was, when he might have another, more beautiful woman if he chose?

Donning her mantle, she left her chamber and walked through the gardens towards the banqueting room. It was such a lovely night and her heart yearned for something—for love.

She smiled and shook her head over her own foolishness. It was the memory of that pagan shrine and the way it had reached out to something inside her, making her feel that she, too, might know the sweetness of love. She must be sensible. She must remember who and what she was, and that love was not for her.

Hearing laughter ahead of her, she stopped as she saw a man and a woman walking towards the house. They had clearly been strolling in the gardens and she realised that it was Celestine and Sir Alain. He had returned from his business and sought out Celestine, not Katherine.

Celestine was smiling up at him, and he was laughing, clearly enjoying her company. They looked so well together, and Sir Alain seemed to find Celestine amusing company.

Katherine turned away, the pain of seeing them in such intimacy striking deep. Maria was right! She would be a fool to hope for anything more than friendship from Sir Alain. To dream of him could only bring her pain.

Was it he Katherine had seen kissing Celestine the previous night in the moonlight? She had thought it someone else, but now she could not be sure. The image of Sir Alain kissing Celestine…making love to her…was too painful to be borne and Katherine dismissed it, forcing a smile to her lips as she went to meet them.

She had no right to expect anything. No right to be jealous of the intimacy between Sir Alain and Celestine.

‘Ah, there you are, dearest child,’ Celestine said and gave Katherine a false smile. ‘We were just talking about you. This sweet, foolish man was worried about your safety, but I told him you would find your way to supper without his help—and now you see that I am right, Alain.’

‘Marcus has posted guards to prevent another unpleasant occurrence,’ Alain told Katherine. He looked at her gravely and her heart sank. Was she merely a burden, a duty to him? ‘But I would have come for you had you waited a little, lady.’

Katherine’s head was held high, pride in every line of her body. ‘I am perfectly able to find my way to supper alone, sir,’ she said. ‘Nor would I want to deprive you of your pleasure.’

She walked past them and into the house, the sound of Celestine’s tinkling laughter following her. She was a jealous child, Katherine admitted to herself as she fought for composure. It was a fault in her and something she must conquer. Yet she could not deny that she felt resentment against Celestine for taking so lightly something that Katherine desired too much. Yes, she was jealous. Why else would she let herself be so affected by the sight of Sir Alain and Celestine together?

Tears pricked behind her eyes, but she fought them back. She was not going to cry, no matter how much it hurt!

Alain stood looking out at the moonlight. It was a glorious night, too beautiful to be alone. He did not know why he could not sleep, yet his thoughts had kept him restless. It was a night for lovers. He would not see many of its like once he returned to England. Yet he had chosen to keep his own company.