Lottie Phillips - Sunshine at Daisy’s Guesthouse

‘Yes.’ Lisa nodded. ‘It does, which is why I just thought if you didn’t live in that house, that maybe you could try and build new memories.’

Daisy shifted irritably. ‘I don’t want to build new memories , Lisa. I am very happy with the old ones.’ She bit her lip. ‘Most of them.’ She thought about her twenty-year marriage. ‘It was all-consuming, our marriage, filled with passion but I’ve now woken up to its faults too.’

‘Look, I’m just looking out for you but, of course, you know best.’

‘I know.’ Daisy smiled gratefully. ‘And I’ve thought about it more and more, I think I’m ready to move on. I think I need to move on.’

Daisy looked at the next table. A man and woman had chosen to sit side by side, instead of opposite one another, and they were holding hands, laughing at something on his phone. Their easiness and happiness sent a pain through her heart. She didn’t want to be the woman who grew old, begrudging other people their lives. Her friends had all done so much for her since Hugh closed his eyes for that final time in January last year. He had died at home, and she had luckily been by his side, only because her gut instinct had told her not to go and visit her mother that day. She had been all ready for her bi-weekly coffee with Mum but a feeling of unease had gnawed at her, forcing her to cancel her plans.

Her phone buzzed, snapping her out of her thoughts and she fished it out of her bag. The screen saver was a picture of Hugh in Amsterdam back in 1997, just before he proposed. He had his arms up in a ‘ta-dah’ kind of a way.

She looked up and caught Lisa staring at it. No words were exchanged but she knew what Lisa was thinking. Until she made some changes, she wasn’t going to live her life again. And that probably included uploading a different screensaver. Maybe Lisa would be happier if she put up a picture of a flower or a puppy.

It was a text message from James, her and Hugh’s best friend. Her heart lifted. She enjoyed any contact with their oldest and closest friend.

Hi Daisy, hope you’re doing OK. Can I pop by later with something? I think it’s time I gave it to you. Maybe 4ish? J X

She was surprised, having seen James many times since the funeral; she couldn’t imagine what he might want to give her.

‘It’s James,’ Daisy said, and she read the text aloud. ‘He wants to give something to me.’

Lisa snorted and arched a brow. ‘Sorry, I mean, a bit forward, don’t you think?

Daisy giggled. ‘Lisa, your mind belongs in the gutter!’

‘Got you to smile again though.’ She shrugged. ‘Maybe it’s something of Hugh’s. James mentioned before he had some old photos, didn’t he?’

Daisy furrowed her brow. ‘But he says “it’s time I gave it to you”. I mean that does not sound like a bunch of photos, does it?’ She smiled. ‘James was amazing throughout those last years with Hugh, not sure how I would have coped without him. All of you.’

‘Well, let’s get going then as there’s only one way to find out. And Daisy?’ Lisa slid her hand across the table, clasping her friend’s. ‘Listen, we’re all here for you, however you want us to be. OK?’

Daisy smiled. Lisa stood and looked at her watch. ‘I’ll drive you back home then head onto work.’

Daisy was grateful when they pulled off the M4 and away from the madness of Bristol. There had been a time when she loved nothing more than heading into the city with her friends or Hugh and soaking up the buzz of the cosmopolitan hubbub.

Now she couldn’t cope with it. She wanted to scream at everyone that they were being too noisy, too energetic, too alive. The countryside was quieter, allowed her to think, enabled her to remember Hugh properly, although Lisa believed she needed to make new memories. As she had pointed out, she was just fine with the ones she had. It was all she had, and she didn’t want to let go of them – but was it time?

Lisa drove quickly in her convertible, top down even though it really hadn’t warmed up enough, towards Atworth where Daisy lived – had lived – with Hugh. Hugh had become an incredibly successful banker and bought an enormous manor house on the outskirts of the village. Daisy had never, growing up, imagined she would live and own such a glorious pile with its creamy sandstone walls, and ivy and wisteria creeping ever higher up to the tiled roof. The front garden alone was so picturesque it often took her breath away to this day, with its aged stone benches and cherub spouting water into the lake. It was actually just a big pond but Tom, her other best friend, said it was a lake. He was quite sure of it.

‘A pond, Daisy darling, is the size of the paddling pool we had in our student house, yours could take a rowing boat. Catch my drift?’ To which he fell about laughing at his own wit.

The back garden was sublime. Wild roses and an oak tree that Hugh adored. He would often sit for hours at a time on the weekends (he was rarely around in the week), reading his Financial Times and snoozing. He never knew but Daisy used to watch him and fall in love with him all over again. Hugh had worked so hard to buy the house and to keep her in a lifestyle that her own mother, a farmer’s wife, had thought was too grand for the likes of her daughter.

‘Well, Daisy, don’t forget it’s was me and your father putting our hands up sheep’s asses that allowed you to go to university, you hear? Don’t you ever forget your roots.’ She had a strong Gloucestershire accent – you could almost smell the grass and taste the cheese when you listened to her.

They drove up to the house and Lisa turned the ignition off.

‘I’m afraid I have to go and feed the red-trousered folk of Cirencester.’ She pulled a face. ‘So that should mean an evening of over the top laughter and women claiming the crudités are “so filling, darling, couldn’t eat another morsel”, and then the men will drink their whisky and talk golf and skiing.’ She laughed. ‘It’s a joy.’

Daisy smiled. ‘You know, I feel your luck is about to change.’

Lisa giggled. ‘Why, have you found me some rich banker friend? Because if you have, I don’t even care what he looks like.’ She snorted. ‘You know it’s best to have sex in the dark anyway. You just imagine they’re George Clooney, job done.’

Daisy grinned and got out of the car. ‘You, Lisa Davidson, are my best friend and a gem.’ She paused and indicated the length of Lisa’s body. ‘You have kept in such good shape and look great, Tom is probably one of the best-looking gay men on planet earth, James is just,’ she smiled, ‘lovely… and I’ve… got a good sense of humour.’

‘Good sense of humour?’ Lisa shrieked with laughter. ‘That’s what fat people say when they’re advertising themselves on dating sites.’

‘Exactly.’ Daisy winked. ‘don’t forget I’m bubbly too.’

Daisy was suddenly hit by the fact she hadn’t said anything about Hugh. For a second, she felt quite breathless – maybe she was beginning to move on.

‘And Hugh,’ Daisy said quickly, looking up at the sky, ‘is up there looking down at us.’

‘Thinking, James is a dish, Lisa’s still a complete loser, Tom is over the top, and I love Daisy.’

Daisy’s eyes teared up. ‘Oh God, get out of here before I cry again. My mother always told me not to make a scene and look, I now spend my life making scenes.’

‘Bye, beautiful lady. I’ll ring you tomorrow. Find out what James has up his sleeve.’ Lisa started up the car and swung it around, speeding out the drive, a cloud of dust behind her.

It amazed Daisy to this day that Lisa was still single. She was gorgeous, fun and flirty. Wasn’t that what men wanted? In fact, Daisy used to be like that herself but marrying Hugh so young meant she had felt comfortable early on. Even as she piled on the pounds, he loved her and she felt good for it. In fact, he would often encourage her love of baking. She was not good at it but he always politely and solemnly tried her day’s bake. Lisa and Tom often tried it too.