Eve Devon - The Little Clock House on the Green

‘I know,’ Juliet nodded, squishing half the lemon juice into the cocktail shaker. ‘It’s pathetic. I shouldn’t have let it get to me. Except. Well, Kate, do you know how many cats I have now?’

‘One,’ Kate answered loyally, calmly chucking a shot of gin into the shaker and looking at her for confirmation.

Juliet shook her head.

‘Two?’ Kate asked, chucking in another shot of gin.

Juliet shook her head.

‘Right, right,’ Kate added, measuring out one more shot, ‘I saw another one that looked like it doubled for Grumpy Cat.’ She reached for the honey. ‘So, you have three cats, big deal.’

‘Five. I have five cats.’

The honey drizzler that Kate had plunged into the jar of honey paused mid-air. ‘Wow, Juliet… That’s a lot of fur-babies to feed.’

‘I know,’ Juliet agreed, sliding the cocktail shaker under the spoon of honey before the contents could ooze and drip onto the countertop. ‘And I swear the last two found me, I didn’t find them. I’ve officially run out of names. There are only three musketeers, Kate. Four if you count D’Artagnan. And you know how I hate it when things don’t match. Do you know what I ended up calling the last one, the one that could stunt-double for Grumpy Cat?’

‘What?’

‘Catty McCatFace. And now it has a complex–’

‘Because it thinks it’s a boat?’

‘No, because, because other cats probably hear me calling it in at night and probably go all Gloria Pavey on it when I’m not around.’

‘Oh Jules,’ Kate said sympathetically.

If Kate was using her pet name for her, she really was sounding pathetic. Annoyed with herself, she threw open the door of the freezer and tossed a bag of ice onto the countertop. Taking a rolling pin out of the drawer, she smashed the bag and tipped some of the contents into the cocktail shaker, slammed the lid down on top and began to shake it vigorously.

‘So why would buying The Clock House stop you from being the Crazy Cat Lady of Whispers Wood?’ Kate asked, as she stood back to allow Juliet to reach into an overhead cupboard and grab two jam jars.

Juliet stared at the jars. It had taken hours to build up the lace-effect Washi-Tape evenly.

‘Jules?’

‘Having a business to work on will help take my mind off it. Cheers,’ she said, passing one of the jars to Kate and clinking hers against it before taking a huge gulp.

Lemony-honey-alcoholic goodness slipped down Juliet’s throat, making her think she could do this. She could make Kate understand without having to go into soul-despairing detail.

‘You’re going about this the wrong way,’ Kate said after taking another sip. ‘What would take your mind off thinking you’re going to end up old, alone, mad and with a house full of cats, is to find a man.’

Juliet stared hard at her cousin and then nodded at the genius of it all. ‘Yes. Thank you. I can’t believe I hadn’t thought of that.’

Kate winced. ‘I get that pickings are slim around here, but maybe it’s time to try online dating.’

‘You think all my problems will disappear if I do online dating?’

‘I know it’s not easy–’

‘Oh you do, do you?’

‘Okay. I don’t. And I’ve obviously oversimplified. Obviously there’s more to this than the cat thing.’

‘I’ve tried online dating.’

‘Seriously?’

Juliet put down her drink. She’d only had half of it and couldn’t believe the words had popped out like that. ‘It was a disaster.’ A serious disaster. She didn’t think she could ever do it again. She was too shy. Too reserved. Too tentative. Too unattracted to every man bar one…

‘You never wrote to me about this.’

‘You never wrote to me about what happened with Marco.’

Kate stared into her drink. ‘So we’ve been keeping secrets.’

‘Yes. Secrets.’ Juliet felt the familiar weight of hers and, not for the first time, thought that if she could just once shout it out at the top of her lungs, everything would be better.

‘If I tell you about Marco, will you tell me your secret?’ Kate asked.

‘Is it so wrong to want to concentrate on something other than a man?’ she asked, fully prepared now to sulk. ‘The world doesn’t revolve around them, you know. Maybe I want a new challenge in my life.’

‘Okay. Who is he?’

‘What?’

‘Someone’s done a number on you.’

‘No they haven’t.’

‘Rubbish. Some guy has done a number on you and frightened you off all men.’

‘No. He really hasn’t. Wouldn’t. Couldn’t.’

Kate’s eyes narrowed. ‘You sound like you’re talking about someone specific.’

‘Nope,’ Juliet answered, shoving more alcohol down her neck.

‘You want to talk about anything else, don’t you?’

‘I really do.’

‘Okay. You have ten minutes.’

‘Ten minutes?’

‘Ten minutes to talk about anything else and then we’re going back to this because something’s going on here.’

‘And to think I was thinking of going into business with you!’

‘Business?’

‘Yes. The Clock House. Business. Together. You and me. You running the day spa. Me…’ she took a much-needed sip of her cocktail and then rushed out, ‘and me running a hair salon.’

‘You want to open a hair salon in The Clock House?’

‘Not anymore, I don’t.’ She sniffed. ‘I changed my mind.’

‘This is about the “killing two birds” thing you were talking about earlier this morning? You want to stop being thought of as the Cat Lady and you want to open a hair salon?’

‘Finally. She gets it. So, what do you think?’

Kate took a sip of her drink.

Juliet wasn’t completely surprised to discover she’d already finished hers.

‘I think it’s the most brilliant idea in the world.’

‘You do?’ Juliet let out the breath she hadn’t even been aware she’d been holding. ‘I mean, you really do?’

‘I really do. But Juliet, let’s be serious for a moment. We have zero experience…’

‘That’s not true,’ Juliet defended, suddenly feeling a lot more confident now she hadn’t been laughed out of her own house.

‘Right,’ Kate said. ‘I totally forgot the part where we’ve both had oodles of manis and pedis and the part where we’ve both had our hair cut.’

‘Exactly. Plus, what with your business degree and me actually being a hairdresser …’

Kate smiled. ‘Oh yeah. This calls for more honey martinis.’ She grabbed the shaker out of the sink and pulled the bottle of gin towards her. ‘So, we’re really about to think about doing this?’

‘Seems like. Oh. Wait here. I need to go get my business plan.’

‘You have a business plan?’

‘Of course.’

‘Am I the only one who hasn’t actually done a business plan?’

‘Yes, but that was probably because you needed to be here first and, you know, see if you could, do it.’

‘I guess.’

She left Kate happily hacking the rest of the ice into tiny shards while she raced upstairs to get her laptop and files. Catty McCatface was sitting on the bed and looked up at her when she burst through her bedroom door.

‘What?’ Juliet whispered as she looked at the cat’s permanently dour expression. ‘A girl has to grow up. Move on. Make a life for herself. Find a dream that could actually come true, and work towards that. Oh, you know I’m right,’ she added when the cat merely sniffed and put its head back down on its paws and closed its eyes. Quietly she left her bedroom and jogged back down the stairs.

‘So what’s the other reason you want to buy into The Clock House?’ Kate asked before Juliet had even set the laptop on the kitchen table.