Josephine Cox - Three Letters

Oh, yes, she could always sell herself; she had done so often enough. But that was simply a sideline; a rewarding pleasure she was free to indulge in whenever the mood took her.

And anyway, what would she do when her figure went to seed, and the wrinkles ravaged her face? No man would look at her twice then, let alone lie with her. However old and unattractive she got, Tom was a man who would always do his duty and bring in a regular wage.

‘Please, Tom, don’t leave me,’ she played on his softer side. ‘I’ll change my ways, I really will.’

In all her married life she had never once belittled herself to plead with him, but the prospect of losing that wage packet on a Friday was too daunting.

‘Sit down, Ruth.’ Tom’s voice was surprisingly gentle.

Gesturing to the chair, he waited, but she made no move.

‘Please, Ruth. Sit down. There is something I need to tell you.’ Though after everything that had happened here, he was beginning to think it might be unwise to share his own troubles with her.

Increasingly unnerved by Tom’s manner, she did as he asked. ‘The boy is a liar,’ she stoutly insisted. ‘The little bastard wanted to make you think I had a man in the bedroom, didn’t he, eh? Well, don’t listen to a word he says. Let me talk to him, and I’ll make him tell you the truth.’

Realising yet again that the time was not right to reveal his troubles, Tom decided to keep his own counsel.

‘Listen to me, Ruth,’ he said firmly instead. ‘I really don’t care whether you had a man in the bedroom or not.’ Reaching into his trouser-pocket, he took out the two keys and threw them onto the table, gratified when she shrank back in shock.

‘Whose keys are they? Where did you get them from?’ she asked, trying to regain her composure.

‘From the look on your face, you already know whose keys they are,’ Tom retaliated. ‘They belong to your new man friend, and I’m sure I don’t need to tell you where I found them.’ He smiled knowingly. ‘I reckon you’d best get these back to him at the first opportunity … before his missus realises they’ve gone missing.’ He spoke in a disarmingly casual manner.

‘I’m truly sorry, Tom.’ Ruth feigned a tear. ‘All right! You caught me out, but it’s the first time Len’s been here, and I swear it will never happen again. You have my word on it.’

‘I really don’t care what you do any more,’ Tom reminded her. ‘The truth is, he can have you, because once me and Casey have gone from here, we won’t be coming back … ever.’

Tom was all too aware that in the greater scheme of things, there were other urgent issues they should be discussing. But even now he felt it wasn’t the moment to tell her.

Today, as always, she had managed to create a situation that prevented him from confiding in her. Instead, he had no option but to make other, drastic plans, with regard to their son.

He believed that, in view of what had taken place here tonight, he quietly smiled to himself. If he confessed the truth to her, he realised that Ruth would no doubt welcome his news.

All day, he had been in emotional and physical torment; aching to come home and share his news with her. Instead, he had finally discovered that there was no doubt she felt no love or feeling towards him at all.

That was a hard and painful thing for him to learn.

‘I know I’ve done wrong,’ Ruth persisted lamely, her voice trembling. ‘But you have my word, it won’t happen again. It were Len’s fault. He kept bothering me … coming to the door when he knew you wouldn’t be in. But nothing happened. I would never cheat on you with another man.’ Lies came so easily to her.

‘Enough, Ruth, I don’t want to hear any more.’ When she fell silent, Tom went on, his voice cold and unforgiving, ‘I’ve already said, you’re free to go with whichever man takes your fancy, and God only knows there have been enough of them over the years. Fool that I am, I’ve put up with your infidelities for too long, but no more. But all that aside, I won’t stand by while you take your spite out on the boy. That’s all over now. And so is our sham of a marriage.’

‘Please, Tom! You can’t mean that. We need each other. You love me, I know you do.’

‘Well, you’ve tested my love to the very limit. In the back of my mind, I think I knew what you were up to, but I hoped I was wrong. I didn’t want to risk losing you. But now Casey and I are going. I don’t care any longer what you do.’

He gave a small, whimsical smile. ‘I do care about our son, though, and having witnessed how you enjoy hurting him, I’m determined to get him away from here. He’ll be safe enough with his granddad Bob. Oh, and if you so much as show your face there, I’ll inform the authorities how you mercilessly beat the boy for nothing more than telling the truth.’

‘I won’t let you take him! You can bugger off if you want to, but you’re not taking the boy. He’s staying here with me. He’s nearly nine years old; before you can turn round he’ll be fourteen and off to work. That’s when he’ll be old enough to make up his own mind about where he wants to go, and who with. Till then, I’ll decide what’s best for him. He’s staying here, with me, where he belongs!’

‘Oh, I can see it all now. The truth is, you can hardly wait till he’s off to work and bringing home a wage packet. Of course, that’s why you’re so desperate to keep him. You see him as taking my place and earning the money to keep you in fags and idleness. You intend him to support you in the manner you’re used to, while turning a blind eye to the men friends you entertain under this roof.’

‘You’re wrong! I want him to stay here with me, because I’m his mother, and this is where he should be.’

‘Like hell, he should! You don’t give a damn for the boy. You never have. Five years from now, you’ll be too far gone to attract the men, and Casey will take over from me as breadwinner. Well, you can forget it. I’ve no intention of leaving my son here so’s you can ruin his life like you’ve ruined mine.’

Leaving her to reflect on his words, he crossed to the scullery and opened the door. ‘Are you ready, Casey?’

Casey switched off the taps. ‘Yes, Daddy.’

‘Right, then go upstairs and get what you need. You’re coming with me to stay with Granddad Bob.’

Keeping his gaze to the floor, Casey hurried across the parlour and up the stairs, where he began collecting a few belongings. He wasn’t sorry to be going, as long as he was with his daddy.

Downstairs, Ruth ranted on. ‘I’ll have him back before you know it,’ she warned. ‘I’m not done with you yet.’

‘Is that so?’ Tom was also determined. ‘Well then, I’ll make you a promise, shall I? If you try any of your tricks or if you go anywhere near him, I’ll make sure the authorities know what kind of a useless mother you are. They’ll know about the men you entertain, here in our home, with your own son able to hear what’s going on. And I’ll make sure they’re aware of what happened here today. You’ve never had any real love for that boy, and if I was to leave him here with you, I dread to think what might happen.’

Having filled a canvas bag with his few belongings, Casey emerged from the bedroom. He sat down on the stairs, listening, waiting for the angry voices to subside.

It seemed like an age before he dared venture to the parlour door, but when he felt his mother’s eyes on him he kept his gaze averted.

‘Are you ready, son?’ Tom placed an encouraging hand on the boy’s shoulder.

Casey looked into his father’s kindly face. ‘Are we taking the guitar?’

Tom smiled down on him. ‘Yes, so you go and fetch it, while I have a quiet word with your mother. Then we’ll be away from here.’