Lucy Gordon: The Secret That Changed Everything

‘You spoke of nobody caring. Nobody at all? What about outside the family?’

She grimaced. ‘Yes, there was someone. We were moving slowly but I thought we’d get there in time. Well, I’m an outsider there, too. It feels like wandering in a desert.’

She checked herself there. She hadn’t meant to confide her desert fantasy, for fear of sounding paranoid, but he seemed to understand so much that it had come out naturally.

‘I know the feeling,’ he said, ‘but a desert can be a friendly place. There’s no one there to hurt you.’

‘It’s true there are no enemies there,’ she said. ‘But no friends either, nobody who cares about you.’

‘You wouldn’t want to be there for ever,’ he agreed. ‘But for a while it can be a place to rest and recruit your strength. Then one day you can come back and sock ‘em on the jaw.’

She longed to ask him what events and instincts lay behind that thought. All around her doors and windows seemed to be flying open, revealing mysterious roads leading to mists and beyond, to more mysteries, tempting her forward.

But could it be right to indulge her confusions with a stranger?

Then she saw him looking at her, and something in his eyes was like a hand held out in understanding.

Why not?

What harm could come of it?

‘I guess my real problem is that I’m no longer quite sure who I am,’ she said.

He nodded. ‘That can happen easily, and it’s scary.’

‘Yes, it is. With Don I always felt that I was the one in charge of our relationship, but then I found I wasn’t. Oh, dear, I suppose that makes me sound like a managing female.’

‘Sometimes that’s what a man needs to bring out the best of him,’ he said.

‘Did that happen to you?’

‘No, she wasn’t “managing” enough. If she had been, she might have bound me to her in time to save us both.’ He added quickly, ‘Go on telling me about you.’

Now a connection had been established it was easy to talk. Neither of them went into much detail, but the sense of being two souls adrift was a bond. It was a good feeling and she was happy to yield to it.

‘What happened to your gift for getting your own way?’ he asked at last.

‘I guess it failed me. I didn’t say it worked all the time. You have to seize the chance, but sometimes the chance can’t be seized.’

A cheer that went up from the fountain made them both look there.

‘More coins, more wishes,’ he said.

‘Aren’t they supposed to wish for a return to Rome?’ she asked.

‘Yes, but they always add another one, usually about a lover.’

‘I’d like to go closer.’

As they neared the water they could see a man tossing in coins by the dozen, then closing his eyes and muttering fiercely.

‘What’s he wishing for?’ Charlotte asked.

‘My guess is he wants his lady-love to appear out of the blue, and tell him he’s forgiven. When a guy’s as desperate as that it’s pretty bad.’

Then the incredible happened. A female hand tapped the young man on the shoulder, he turned, gave a shout of joy and embraced her.

‘You came,’ he bellowed. ‘She came, everyone. She’s here.’

‘You see, it works,’ someone shouted. ‘Everyone toss a coin and make a wish.’

Laughing, Charlotte took two coins from her bag and threw one in, crying, ‘Bring me back to Rome.’

‘That’s not enough,’ Lucio said. ‘Now you must wish that Don will come back.’

‘Too late for that. We’re not right for each other. I know that now. But what about you? Your lady might arrive and decide to “manage” you, after all, since it’s so obviously what you want.’

But he shook his head. ‘She’s gone to a place from which she’ll never return.’

‘Oh, I’m so sorry. Did it happen very recently?’

‘No,’ he said softly. ‘It was a hundred thousand years ago.’

She nodded, understanding that time, whether long or short, could make no difference to some situations. But another thought danced through her mind so fleetingly that she was barely aware of it. Another woman had stood between them, but no longer. Suddenly she had vanished, leaving only questions behind.

Impulsively she reached out and laid a hand on his cheek.

‘Hey, you two, that’s not good enough,’ came an exultant cry from nearby. ‘This is the fountain of love. Look around you.’

Everywhere couples were in each other’s arms, some hugging fondly, some kissing passionately. Lucio gazed into her face for only a moment before drawing her close.

‘I guess they feel we’re letting the side down,’ he said.

‘And we can’t have that, can we?’ she agreed.

The feel of his lips on hers was passionate yet comforting, confirming her sensation that she was in the right place with the right person.

‘I’m glad I met you,’ he whispered against her mouth.

‘I’m glad, too.’

They walked slowly back along the Via Vittorio Veneto. Neither spoke until they reached the hotel and he said, ‘Let me take you up to your room.’

She could have bid him goodnight there and then, but she didn’t. She knew now that as the evening passed the decision had been slowly building inside her. What she was going to do was right, and whatever might come of it, she was resolved.

When they reached her room he waited while she opened the door. Then he took a step back, allowing her time to change her mind. But she had passed that point, and so had he. When she held out her hand he took it, followed her inside and closed the door, shutting out the world.

In the morning she awoke to find herself alone. By her bed was a scrap of paper, on which was written, ‘Thank you with all my heart. Lucio.’

At breakfast she looked around but didn’t see him. She realised that she didn’t even know his last name.

Strangely the situation did not distress her. They had been ships that passed in the night because that was what both of them had chosen, both of them needed. He’d been passionate and at the same time a gentle, considerate lover, with a mysterious gift for making her feel as though her troubles were falling away. She could go on to whatever the future held, stronger and more confident.

But gradually, a few weeks later, she discovered what the future did hold, and she realised that nothing would ever be the same. Now it mattered that she didn’t know his full name. It took several hours’ online research to discover that he was Lucio Constello, one of the most notable men in the business, with vineyards all over the country. But the most famous one was in Tuscany.

She’d set out to confront him, wondering how this business could possibly end, and soon she would know.

There he was, far ahead. The moment of truth had arrived, and she had no choice but to go forward.

‘I’M NOT imagining this, am I?’ he asked slowly. ‘It’s really you?’

‘Sure it’s me,’ she said lightly.

‘You… here? In Tuscany? It’s great but I can hardly believe it.’

‘Why? There was always a chance we’d bump into each other again.’

The reference to chance was deliberate. She was determined to play it casual. There must be no hint of how frantically she’d searched for him, how much it mattered. She, who prided herself on fearing nothing, had been dreading this meeting, dreading the sight of his face when she told him her news.

She covered her feelings with a smile, a cheerful shrug. He mustn’t suspect before she was ready.

‘I’m flattered you even remember me,’ she said.

‘Oh, yes,’ he murmured. ‘I remember. We had a great evening. You made me laugh.’

She stayed calm, although it was hard. Was laughter all he remembered about that night?