Cathy Glass - Too Scared to Tell

Oskar was still very quiet, but I hoped that as the days passed and he got to know us better he would become more confident and assertive. Upstairs, I ran his bath and told him that I would wait outside the door while he washed and to call me if he needed any help. Most children his age aren’t self-conscious about being naked and I often help them in the bath by washing their necks and backs, which tend to get forgotten. Oskar clearly needed his privacy for whatever reason – and that might simply have been from living in a multiple-occupancy house where, doubtless, it was at a premium.

Oskar pushed the bathroom door right to before he undressed. I heard the water stir as he climbed into the bath and began washing himself.

‘Are you OK?’ I asked after a couple of minutes.

‘Yes, don’t come in,’ was his reply.

‘I won’t.’

I heard more water splash and, a few minutes later, the sound of him getting out. When he opened the door, he was in his new dinosaur pyjamas.

‘Very smart,’ I said. I waited while he brushed his teeth and then we went round the landing to his bedroom. ‘Do you want Luka, your teddy bear?’ I asked him. He’d left it downstairs.

‘Yes,’ he said. While he used the toilet, I went downstairs and fetched the bear, and he snuggled into bed with it beside him on the pillow.

I said goodnight and came out.

Who knew what memories that bear brought back now it was named after his brother? There was so much I didn’t know about Oskar and his family situation. I had many questions that needed answering, and I hoped to learn more the following afternoon when Andrew visited. So often in fostering, a child arrives and then their backstory gradually follows, unfolding piecemeal over weeks and months, until eventually a clearer picture emerges, and it’s often heart-breaking. Many of these children have had to cope with so much before they come into care.

Oskar slept well, and in the morning, when I woke him and told him it was time to get ready for school, I thought he seemed marginally more relaxed. I laid out his clean school clothes and waited outside his bedroom door while he dressed, then we went downstairs together. He sat in the place he had chosen next to Lucy and wanted one of the sourdough rolls we’d bought, with a cheese and ham filling and a glass of juice. Afterwards, he went up to the bathroom by himself to wash his face and clean his teeth.

I was feeling quite optimistic as I drove to Oskar’s school. The sun was out, Oskar seemed slightly more relaxed, we were establishing a routine and Oskar’s social worker was vising us this afternoon with the background information that should help me better meet Oskar’s needs. While not talkative in the car, Oskar did tell me he liked going to school, liked his teacher and science lessons. ‘Excellent,’ I said.

I parked where there was a space a little way from the school and opened Oskar’s car door, which was child-locked. He slipped his hand into mine and we walked along the pavement towards the school gates. Suddenly I felt his hand grip mine and I followed his gaze. The black car was pulling up and parking on the opposite side of the road. There was no mistake. It was the same car with the two men in the front.

‘You know those men, don’t you?’ I asked Oskar. He had quickened his pace towards the school gates, pulling me along, but didn’t reply. ‘Who are they? Can you tell me? You’re obviously worried.’

He continued, without answering, into the playground where others were waiting for the start of school. Oskar kept his back to the road and faced the school, while I turned to look at the car. It was too far away to clearly make out the features of the men, but I could see they were both staring in our direction.

‘Is it nearly time to go in?’ Oskar asked me anxiously.

I glanced at my watch. ‘Just a few minutes more. Do you ever see that car parked outside the school during playtime?’ I asked him. At morning break and after lunch the children played out here in the playground.

He didn’t reply, but his face was pinched and white.

I hesitated and then, taking Oskar’s hand, I said, ‘We’ll go into school now. I want to try to speak to your teacher.’ He didn’t ask why.

I took him to the main door, where I pressed the buzzer and waited to be admitted. I thought Miss Jordan might know who the men were, and if she didn’t, I would alert her to my concerns.

The door released and we went in. A smartly dressed middle-aged woman was in reception, apparently having been talking to the secretary. She smiled at Oskar. ‘Can I help you?’ she asked me.

‘I was hoping to see Miss Jordan,’ I said. ‘I’m Cathy Glass, Oskar’s foster carer.’

‘Pleased to meet you,’ she said, offering her hand for shaking. ‘I’m Elaine Summer, the Head Teacher here. We didn’t have a chance to meet when you collected Oskar on Tuesday. How is he?’

‘Quiet, but gradually settling in,’ I said.

‘Miss Jordan is with a parent right now. Can I help you?’

I glanced at Oskar, wondering if I should say what I had to in front of him, but decided it might actually help to reassure him. ‘There’s a black car parked opposite the school,’ I said. ‘It was there on Tuesday and yesterday morning. There are two men in it, and they seem to be watching us. Oskar appears worried by their presence and I was wondering if Miss Jordan perhaps knew who they were.’

‘Let me take a look,’ the Head said decisively, and she crossed to the window that looked out over the playground. ‘Yes, I can see the car you mean.’

‘I’ve seen it there this week too,’ the school secretary said. Her office overlooked the playground and road.

‘It might be nothing, but as a foster carer I can’t be too careful,’ I said.

‘No, quite,’ the Head agreed. ‘As a school we have to be vigilant. I’ll go and talk to them and see what they want.’

I felt Oskar’s hand tighten in mine and I wondered if it was wise for the Head to approach the men alone, but she was already out of the door and crossing the playground. The secretary was watching her progress too as Elaine Summer went through the main gate, crossed the road, then went up to the car and tapped on the driver’s window. It lowered and as we watched we saw her talking to the men for some minutes. Then she turned and headed back, and the car pulled away. The school secretary returned to her work and the Head came in. She wasn’t at all flustered.

‘They’re saying they are family friends and know Oskar,’ she said. Then to him, ‘Do you know those men?’

He gave a small nod.

‘Do they live in the same house as you?’

Another small nod.

‘They were just making sure you were all right,’ she told him, then addressing me, ‘I’ve asked them not to wait outside the school, as it could be unsettling for Oskar. I’ve had to deal with similar situations with other children in care and those whose parents are divorcing. They wait outside, hoping to see their child or talk to them. That should be an end to it now, but if you do see them again, let me know.’ She threw Oskar a reassuring smile, but he still looked worried.

The klaxon sounded for the start of school and the Head told Oskar, ‘There’s no need for you to return to the playground, you can go straight up to your classroom.’

I said goodbye to him and that I would meet him in the playground at the end of school and wished him a good day. He went off to his classroom and I let myself out of the building. I was not wholly reassured by the Head’s words, no more than Oskar appeared to have been. If the two men were simply family friends wanting to make sure he was all right, why had he been so scared? It didn’t make sense.