Tara Randel - Always The One

“So you could do what? Derrick, why are you here?”

“I’ve been searching for you since the night you left.”

She found that hard to believe. “Why? You had to know.”

“How can you ask me that? Especially after what we meant to each other.”

She refused to answer.

“I had no idea the depth of trouble your family was in. And even when I pressed my father, he never gave me any details.”

Her voice trembled. “That was a long time ago. Things are different. I’m not the same girl I was back then.”

“I get that, but it doesn’t change how I feel.”

“It should.”

He moved closer. “I want to help you and your mom any way I can.”

“Help?” Her voice rose again and broke off with a croak. “You’re why we’re here in the first place.”

“You alluded to that but I’m not making the connection.”

“Those gems? The ones I asked you not to tell anyone about? They were my father’s downfall.” She fisted her hands on her thighs. “Because you told your father.”

“But not to get your dad in trouble. I was concerned when I heard your father on the phone begging someone to leave his business alone. I just asked my dad some questions.”

“And as police commissioner, he called the proper authorities.”

His expression didn’t change but his eyes wavered.

“You knew,” she said.

“Suspected. But I didn’t want to believe it was related to your leaving.”

“We ran in the middle of the night, Derrick. Only had time to pack our barest belongings. Lived in a motel somewhere for weeks until my father went to court. Then we were given new identities. Started over in Illinois before moving multiple times since.” The weight of the years pressed on her. “Now my mother is sick. How does that seem right or fair?”

He reached for her hand, paused for a long, drawn-out moment, and pulled back. Disappointment swept over her. After years apart, did she still want Derrick to comfort her?

His astute gaze roamed her face. “Why did you shoot me with pepper spray?”

“I had this feeling I was being watched. The one thing they don’t tell you when you become part of WITSEC is that you’re always looking over your shoulder. You never feel completely comfortable or let your guard down.” She shook her head. “I tend to be a bit suspicious anyway and my overreaction this afternoon proves it.”

“Has something happened to make you jumpy?”

“Not recently. Like I said, I’m overly attuned to my surroundings. I was right in being concerned, but since it was you, not some bad guys, I made a mistake.”

“Somehow I don’t think that happens often.”

She briefly met his gaze and looked away. “So now what?”

“If you’re still concerned about your safety, I can help. I have contacts through my job.”

“Which is?”

“I’m an FBI special agent.”

She closed her eyes and groaned. “I don’t want any more help from government agencies.”

“Then how about from an old boyfriend?”

It would be so easy to fall into his arms. Let him carry the burdens she’d been laboring with for so long. Go back to the days when the biggest decision she had to make was what color lip gloss to use or which jeans to wear. As much as she might want the reprieve, it wasn’t possible. This was her reality now. Not glamorous or flashy, but she had a good job. A few friends she trusted. Her mother would get well. She had to.

Squaring her shoulders, she met Derrick’s gaze. Recognized that look. The one that said “I’ll take care of everything for you.” Yeah, well where was he when she’d needed him? When she’d been scared to death the night the US Marshals took them from the only home she’d ever known? When her father left, thinking his absence was the best solution for all of them? When she’d had to change her mother’s name and her own and find yet another job in a new city? Or when she’d cried alone at night after her mother’s diagnosis?

Did he think he could just show up out of the blue and things would go back to the way they were? After he’d changed the entire trajectory of her life because he’d posed questions when she’d asked for his silence? Yes, they’d been children back then. Their dreams had been just that, dreams. But she’d needed him when the world was falling down around her, when things were off-kilter and scary, and he was nowhere to be found. She’d learned to forget the past, then carve out an existence without the heaviness of memories weighing her down. So why did he think she needed him now? She’d taken care of her mother alone. Put her dreams aside to make a stable life for both of them. And now, with her mother’s diagnosis, they couldn’t leave Dark Clay until they knew for sure the cancer was gone.

So no, he didn’t get a free pass to barge into her life, with his list of questions and offer to make things right.

She met his gaze dead-on and said the words sure to keep him at bay. “I don’t think my boyfriend would appreciate your assistance.”

“BOYFRIEND?”

“You didn’t think my life stopped because you were no longer in it, did you?” Hannah asked, the heat of her words scorching her tongue.

“Well, no. I…”

For once he was speechless. Good, because she couldn’t deal with the torrent of emotions racing through her right now.

“Jonathan?”

She blinked. “How…”

“Your mother mentioned him when she first came into the living room.”

Right. So much had transpired since they got to her house, she didn’t remember her mother mentioning her boyfriend’s name.

“He owns an art gallery in Carson City.”

“So you’re still interested in paintings?”

“It’s not like I have the time to indulge my interest, but yes.”

“I always thought you’d work in a museum.”

“Obviously that would have been in another life.”

Annoyance crossed his face. “Yes, we’ve established you’re mad at me.”

She pinched the bridge of her nose. “You seriously caught me off guard. And now we’re sitting around like long-lost friends bringing each other up to date when I never expected to see you again. It’s surreal.”

“I get that you’re off-balance. I’ve been the same way since the package arrived.”

She folded her arms on the table and rested her forehead on top, at a total loss for words. Was this really happening? And why did she keep noticing those wide shoulders of his and that lopsided smile that still left her a bit breathless. Surely she should have gotten over her first love…right? Especially when he’d blown up her life once already.

“I guess I thought small talk might ease the shock.”

She lifted her head. “At this point, I’m numb.”

“Sounds like you have a lot on your plate.”

Her hackles rose at his statement. “I can handle it.”

“Didn’t say you couldn’t. It’s just an observation.”

Those pesky tears she kept blinking back made an untimely appearance. She shook them off. “What do you want, Derrick?”

“To make sure you and your mom are okay.”

“Tall order.”

“Good thing I’m a tall guy.”

Biting back a grin, she rose. Wasn’t it just like Derrick to make jokes in a tense situation? He’d always had a quick sense of humor. It had been one of the qualities that drew her to him the most. Some things never changed…including her feelings? Impossible.

“I’ve been taking care of us for years, Derrick, without anyone’s help.”

“Point taken. But I have time off. If you’d—”

“We’ve been perfectly fine, and will be, without you.”

“Hannah,” came a strained voice from the living room, cutting through the tension simmering between them.